So at lunch I approached the vending machine. I withdrew a handful of change from my pocket and slipped a quarter into the slot; it fell through the machine, and directly into the change return chute not registering anything on the display. Meh, it happens. I fished the quarter out of the chute and dropped it into the slot again. Again, it fell through to the return chute… but this time, the display registers $1. Score!
I press the buttons (F-5) to get my FREE $.90 bag o’ CornNuts… and the bag hangs on the end of the turny-screw.
The vending machines were speaking to me today. I was feeling peckish, so I grabbed one of them gold dollar coins and made my way to the breakroom. I knew the soda machines took them, so I assumed the food machines did too.
WRONG.
So instead of having a high-fat high-calorie treat I needed like I need another hole in my head, I plunked that baby in the soda machine and had a Diet Coke instead.
I’ve been doing some data extraction/aggregation for a physics group that is doing something in the quantum mechanics spectrum. Since I don’t have a Q clearance (WTF–DoD Top Secret does not equate to this??), I don’t really have a real conception of just what they’re doing.
But going over the last download, I did notice that your name came up.
Years ago I saw someone buy something from a vending machine. I think it was a bag of chips. It got stuck in the little spirally twirly doohicky. The person that bought it was clearly upset, as she didn’t want to have to buy another just to get the first one. I came to the rescue. I balled up my fist and hit the glass just so. The bag of chips moved a little. I hit a different part of the glass. The chips moved a little more. About eight more strategically placed thumps, and the chips were free.
I once put my money in the company vending machine (I worked in Kansas City, MO) and the damn thing took my money and then dangled my selection enticingly out of my reach.
I’m 5’4" and was at the time about 115 pounds, trying to shake the unholy shite out of the 6’+ 400 pound machine and risking having my body squished into goo when it tipped over on me (there may have been some cussing involved), when along comes Otis Taylor , who gives it a negligent-seeming wiggle, and down comes my bag-o-calories.
Funny enough, I was craving a sugary, not-healthy snack just now when I went to my 2:00 potty break (my frickin’ kidneys are on a timer, I swear!) and sure enough the stupid Zero bar hung in the machine. Big deal, I need to drop these winter pounds anyway. One of the warehouse guys saw what happened and asked if I “needed a shake.” I told him “no, it’s no big deal, just the cosmos reminding me I need to lose, not gain weight. Besides, the next person will get a freebie.” Just a few minutes ago, one of the other warehouse guys who was in there brought me a Zero bar. Didn’t say a word, just put it on my desk and smiled. I likes mah job.
I’m going to lunch shortly… in my head I have a picture of that bag o’ CornNuts still hanging where I left it yesterday. I will try again, and perhaps walk away with 2 bags!
A vending machine once gave me 3 Strawberry-Kiwi Fruitopias, 1 Other-Flavour Fruitopia, a can of Sprite and a Diet Coke.
I wanted a regular Coke.
Another vending machine gave me 3 bottles of Dasani water when I only wanted one to drink during a school exam. I didn’t have a bag with me so had to walk around after with 2 bottles under my arm.
Another vending machine gave me 2 Coke Zeros instead of the one I asked for. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working well, and they were both HOT… and tasted very, very badly. I think that’s when I went to another machine and got the Dasani, actually.
That machine sounds almost human, and right now it’s telling all its other machine buddies about how it screwed with you.