Oh yeah, I forgot. Lock your car when you see a black person, because they’re always trying to carjack. :rolleyes:
The first one is legal, if you are turning left you can (and are suppose to) enter the intersection and wait till it’s clear, which could mean that oncoming traffic is stopped by a light.
The second one is legal, but the act leading up to it is not. You are not permitted to enter the intersection if the car infront of you is waiting to turn, but everyone ignores this law. But once in the intersection the light no longer applies to you.
Order of right-of-way at all-way stop signs:
- Driver going the fastest.
- Driver in largest vehicle.
- Driver in elite class vehicle:
a) BMW.
b) Mercedes.
c) Any vehicle costing over $35,000 that is not a Volvo. - If none of the above apply, driver who gets to stopline first has right-of-way.
The posted 55mph speed limit on the Palisades Interstate Parkway is not a maximum, but a minimum.
On business streets with parallel parking, through traffic is not obligated to slow or back up for parallel parkers.
On residential (ie: laneless) streets with parallel parking, right-of-way shall be given to the driver maintaining the highest rate of speed.
A minimum speed of 15mph shall be observed in all parking lots at all times, including during reverse maneuvers.
Safe parking procedure involves claiming the maximum possible space for your vehicle. Recommended techniques include:
- Aligning your wheels on or near the white line of an unoccupied adjacent space.
- Parking at a slight angle so as to present one or more corners of your vehicle as a potential hazard.
- Spilling a hot beverage on yourself while, or immediately prior to, parking.
I assumed they were put in as business improvement zones for carjackers. St. Louis tops Detroit for highest crime rate
In London, I guess you can drive on the left if you want. Seemed like everyone was doing it. Damnedest thing I ever saw. As a pedestrian, I found it quite intimidating.
-ALWAYS drive at least 10 MPH OVER the posted speed limit.
-ALWAYS have a cup of coffee, or a cell phone in your right hand!
-never use signal flashers-instead, let other drivers guess where you want to go!
- never park normally-always try to block adjacent vehicles
-if you cause a small accident, leave immediately!
-always flip the bird to other drivers 9who cut you off)! - wait at lights at least 10 seconds (after turning green)-you don’t want to get hit by somebody running a red light.
Last of all: endlessly complain about high insurance rates-but keep voting for corrupt officials who set those rates .*
- Massachusetts sets insurance rates via an insurance commisiioner-welcome to the people’s Republic!
OK, I have a theory about this. I think it’s quite likely that you were abducted by aliens and taken away to an artificial, full-scale mockup of the planet Earth. There, they ran complicated behavioral experiments on you in a particular model of a city in the eastern coastal region of simulated North America. It’s possible you are still in the experiment. Clearly, the conditions need some tuning to make the simulator more realistic.
While many of these seem at least a little tongue-in-cheek (at least I hope so!) there’s one Chicago-area convention that I’m always shocked when it’s NOT followed elsewhere:
When waiting for a left turn, you probably won’t be able to make it on the green. But you should get your ass out into the intersection and be ready to slam it just in case. This has the added benefit of, once the light turns yellow, allowing you and at *least *two more cars behind you to make it through on the yellow. If you’re the second car back waiting to turn left, get your ass out there as well - if the front guy is properly situated, you can be at least halfway across before he begins his turn.
Damn tourists waiting back by the line on a left turn piss me the fuck off.
OTOH, left lane for passing only is NOT a Chicago area concept. Left lane is for faster traffic, but it’s perfectly permissible to drive in it as long as you’re still passing cars on the right and not blocking anyone behind you who wants to go faster yet.
PREACH IT!!! Don’t even get me started on the people who refuse to turn right on red when it’s allowed!
bigbaby writes:
Good Lord, where in Boston do you walk? Your experience is diametrically opposed to my own. Boston and Boston-area drivers simply do not care about pedestrians, and will gladly run them down. When I first got here, someone told me to look both ways on a one-way street. I thought they were joking. As if.
Similarly, Boston pedestrians often don’t seem to care about drivers, and I have seen them step with no care from between parked cars near an intersection with a green light.
If you really want to see drivers who defer to pedestrians, go to L.A.
More Boston driving rules:
—Red light? What red light?
—Whether I’m entering a traffic circle/rotary, driving in it, or leaving it, the person who has the right-of-way is ME!
Originally from SLC. (Operative phrase: FROM … as in* proud* to no longer be a resident thereof …)
The flags actually reduced the number of pedestrian fatalities … by giving the pedestrian something to throw (e.g.: red flags) at the approaching driver to wake them up. :rolleyes:
Here in the thriving metro area of Elko, NV, we use a moderately different approach - the penalty for causing a pedestrian to take any form of evasive action will net you a $250 fine. :eek:
Local rules:
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The longer the road is under construction, the less likely anyone will obey the signs. (Barriers, cones and flaggers should be ignored after 30 days. Orange barrels in place longer than 90 days should be used as playing pieces in that exciting new game: Barrel pool. Object: hit barrel, see if you can deflect it into the oncoming traffic lanes. 100 Bonus points if you can hit another car. Double bonus if you hit a Semi.)
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It’s okay to go ahead and ignore the drop in the speed limit from 75 to 65 mph as you enter our fair city on Interstate 80. Especially those of you from California or Utah.
[ul]
[li]No one will bother you.[/li][li]There really aren’t any highway patrol cars in this area. [/li][li]And you don’t really see any flashing red and blue lights.[/ul][/li] Honest. (We need your money.)
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Outside of the city limits, the one speed that absolutely no one will be travelling is the posted 75 mph limt.
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This is an Open Range state. Livestock (cows, horses, sheep, llamas, pigs, goats, chickens, and the occasional turkey* - come to think of it, anything that can be eaten or eventually worn) has the right of way.
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While the official nickname is The Silver State, the unoffical name is:
“The Inattentive/Drowsy Driver Caused Single Car Rollover Fatality Capital of the World”
(Please pull over and take a nap. The roads are long, straight, boring, and there ain’t much to look at. And please let your passenger handle the cell phone. I don’t want to read about you in the newspaper tomorrow. Go ahead, have a look around, then try to tell me I’m not imagining it …)
Oh yeah, for those not accustomed to mind reading (and since there are no signs anywhere in Nevada to inform you of this fact) please be aware that there is a new, heavily enforced law in this state that you must reduce your speed and move over upon approaching any emergency, service or disabled vehicle parked upon the right-of-way.
The fines for not doing so are absurd.
What?? No, it’s not for revenue enhancement …
Lucy
*does not include clueless drivers …
South Florida:
- Do not stop at a yellow light. We don’t care how you do it up north. If you stop before that light is blood fucking red you risk your life.
- Drive no slower than the speed limit. 5-10 over is perfectly okay. Cops will get suspicious if you drive too slow and aren’t 85 years old.
I live in a rural area:
-If it’s a back road, especially one without a yellow center line, parking partly or fully on the road is ok. There’s not much traffic, people will just go around.
-You don’t signal UNTIL you’ve already reached your turn and applied your brakes
-If you’re only going a short distance down the road from one driveway to another, you can pull out in front of someone and then go 20MPH under the speed limit.
-Older drivers go 40MPH in a 55MPH zone. They also go 40MPH when the road slows to a 30MPH zone. They pretty much just go 40MPH.
In Seattle:
Turn signals are used to confirm the lane change that you have just performed, not to alert to an impending lane change.
Slow down when entering a sunny patch or a sun break occurs, to allow our slow-response-overcast-adapted eyes time to adjust.
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Pedestrians never have right of way. Not even when crossing an “unmarked crosswalk” (extension of the sidewalk across a side street or parking lot).
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If there are 3 or more lanes in the same direction, and you want to pass a slower car in the middle lane, pass on the right.
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A white rectangular sign with the number “25” means you should drive at 40mph during the day and 55mph at night.
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If you see a bicycle in your lane, honk continually for 5 seconds to inform the cyclist that he/she shouldn’t be on the road. If the cyclist refuses to go into the ditch to make room for you, rev up your engine to 5000 rpm and pass as close to the cyclist as physically possible.
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If a bicycle is in a right-turn lane, you may use the straight-through lane to get to the intersection and then turn right in front of the cyclist.
1.Red lights and stop signs are totally optional after 2 am. Also during all other times
when no one is around or if you feel the light change is taking too long and you have shit
to do.
2. Speed limit signs are merely a suggestion. The real speed limit is exceeding the
fastest driver on the road by 10 mph.
3. If another driver is going the speed limit, the appropriate behavior is to drive up inches
behind them and start flashing headlights and hitting the horn in a pissed off manner.
Upon passing the startled operator of said vehicle, flipping him the bird is mandatory
along with mouthing a distinctive “learn how to drive, mutherfucker!”
4. In the event a police officer is spotted on the road, quickly hit the brakes as you speed
past so the officer will know your good intentions when she pulls you over. Explain to the
officer that you “tried” to slow down but you were trapped driving with the flow of traffic
and that is the most important thing, right? Call the officer a nasty namne when she walks away after having you sign the ticket.
5. When you notice a cop car at an accident on the side of the road, immediately slow
down as not to get another speeding ticket. Know that you are far more important than
any traffic casualty and the officer will hand the injured person a towel to hold pressure
on their bleeding wound so they can go after your green van and issue you another
citation.
6. If said accident led to a traffic build up, curse loudly at the rubber neckers but
proceed to practically stop the car to get a good look yourself. After all, you’re entitled
after waiting so long.
7. If you get lost, it is Map Quest’s fault. Claim you memorized the directions perfectly
and didn’t need to bring them. Curse and complain and threaten to sue them for false
information on a public site.
8. It is common knowledge that Asians, Canadians and Women can not drive. May sure
you comment upon this every time one of those three groups happens to be in front of
you on the road.
9. Actually looking ahead at the road is only required once every two to three minutes.
All other time should be utilize to take in the sites, specifically commenting on the new
neighbors taste in house paint.
10. The person to the red light first wins so make sure you always speed towards it
slamming on the brakes at the last possible second to avoid hitting the vehicle in front of
you.
11. There is never a need to use your turn signal simply because you are well aware
when you need to turn. Of course make sure to cuss and swear at the fucking Canadian
Asian Woman in front of you not signaling.
12. Make sure you are halfway down the block before remembering to turn on your
headlights at night. Shout at your passengers that remind you that you were just about
to get to it.
13. Anyone with half of a brain knows you have gallons and gallons of gas left over when
the gauge points to empty. Blame the car manufacturer for not following that rule when
you run out of gas on the expressway.
That’s for stealth purposes, cops are less likely to notice you speeding in the right lane.
I dunno, works for me…
So now you need a license to ride a horse? :eek: What is this world coming to?
A mate of mine got fined for riding a skateboard down a hill at speed (and on the road not the footpath) and that was over 20 years ago. You can be booked for “traffic offences” on a bicycle or horse too (including DUI).
There are others.
If the light was green when you first saw it, you are allowed to proceed through it.
If you are exiting 270 south onto Page east, and somebody else is attempting to enter the highway, you must accelerate past them, cut them off, and immediately slam on the brakes.
Despite having lived next to it your entire life, you must slow down and admire the Mississippi every time you cross a bridge.
In Columbia, it is perfectly acceptable when driving down Stadium towards the Highway 70 entrance ramp, to continue through green lights even if it means you get stuck in the middle of the intersection and then block the next cycle of lights for people on the cross street trying to go.
Also, when driving in light rain, it is a must to slam on your breaks whenever you come across a slight turn in the road. Especially when another car is trying to pass your slow ass.
It is also acceptable to drive in the left turn lane for as long as possible, even if it includes blocking others when it’s a shared turn lane. And if you’re in a hurry, feel free to barrel down the shoulder at 50mph!