Putting aside hats that are more accessories (fedoras, derbys, bowlers, etc.), there are a lot of hats out there that allegedly are utilitarian - pith helmets, ten-gallons, etc.
But are they utilitarian? Is the cowboy hat shape efficient in keeping off the rain, blocking the sun, or whatever it allegedly does? Is the pith helmet the be-all and end-all in saving a jungle explorer from a python attack?
Enlighten me with your hat knowledge.
Sua
The best sorts of hats are the stormtrooper helmets from Star Wars. Fully-integrated holographic displays (which need to be calibrated properly), oxygen scrubbers, pollutant control, integrated communications and scanning gear… AND environmental controls, t’boot.
Oddjob’s hat is the be-all and end-all in saving a jungle explorer from a python attack. Or an attack from just about anything.
I’m afraid I can’t speak for the pith helmet, but living in the cattle country of Colorado (quite a ways away from Denver), I can address the cowboy hat, somewhat.
They are quite utilitarian. The wide brim makes them an excellent sun shade and good rain protection. You can carry water in them (not the straw kind of course), not bad for swatting at insects and if you don’t have access to pockets, dealing with soggy weather or don’t want friends to know about it, keeping things like money and smokes “under you hat” is more than just a figure of speech out here.
I have skin my doctor feels is prone to skin cancer and his proscription was “get a hat”.
TV
Gotta have a hat so you can tip it to girls. It’s 2001 sure, but the girls really go for that. And when you’re an ugly bastard like me, it all helps.
I have a vegetable garden in my backyard.
<“What? A big strappin’ gym-rat like you has a veggie garden?!”>
…and I wear a wide brimmed straw hat with a “legionnaire” <sp?> cloth to cover the back of my neck.
Provides eyeshade; protects my face, ears and neck from sunburn (yes, I use sunblock too!); and absorbs perspiration. The actual hat portion that my noggin goes into is woven more loosely than the brim, giving good ventilation to my sweaty melon.
and <sigh> I do suffer the “point-snort-giggle” from my neighbors and their kids.
But, s’ok. I know I won’t look like a beaten up leather gym bag when I’m 60!
Hey Grizz here’s a little nugget of trivia to impress the ladies at the gardening club:
“legionnaire” <sp?> cloth = havelock
The thing was named after British General Henry Havelock. (Apparently he was “a hero of the Sepoy Mutiny of 1857” I’ve just learned. I can just hear him now – screen goes wiggly here – : "Listen men, I’ve got an idea. You know how we usually go into battle with a parasol in one hand and a rifle in the other? Well I’ve invented this cloth to attach to your hats. Now you can shoot your rifles with two hands!" No wonder the Brits conquered the world.)
I spend a lot of time hiking and climbing. Any wide-brimmed outback or sombrero type hat is useful for travel at high altitudes or above treeline where you can be susceptible to extreme sunburn, insects, hypothermia, precipitation, or solar glare. They work quite well. I don’t where them at any other time.
Every now and again I’ll wear my boater straw hat (aka a “skimmer”) to some dress-up summer occasion.
What’s it good for? Well (…as happened just this weekend while I was on my way to friend’s wedding…) people roll down the windows of their cars and admiringly shout “Hey, nice hat!” That’s gotta be worth something.