The vital role of the goat in aircraft maintenace

Knowing the fascination of many Board members for things goatish, I thought I’d pass this along:

Guess the second one was for insurance, or is there some guideline for number of goats sacrificed based on maximum takeoff weight?

Anyway, apparently the action rectified the unidentified electrical problem, for which I (and no doubt future Nepal Airlines passengers) am glad. Not sure the goats are too pleased about it, however.

Truly, when aren’t goats at very least useful, if not vital? The only thing I can imagine would be a goat infestation - but that would imply such a thing as “too many goats”, which is clearly absurd.

You are right about that. When I was about 3 - 4 years old, we had a pet goat name William. Whenever my mother wasn’t home, my father would let William in and we would all sit on the couch, watch TV and eat stuff with our mouth open. I think about William a lot but I don’t know where he is now. That could have been him sacrificed to save the plane for all I know. He would have volunteered willingly knowing him.

I have had most non-human companions imaginable and the goats are the ones that I miss the most. They are like the old buddy that will stick with you no matter what but lacks the cells to put up anything more than a token but predictable fight and yet will be out there partying and consuming everything in sight a few minutes later. Goats are good people. As an aside, my one, true passionate hobby is aviation and that doesn’t come from anyone in my family. I have to wonder if that was a gift from William wherever he is.

My vacation spot is a resort in Jamaica that serves lamb chops for lunch. The place is reknown for their lamb chops. They are marinated to a delightful tenderness and grilled to perfection. Words fail to describe.

I realized this summer that they never seem to run short of lamb chops. I’ve never seen any sheep on the bus trips to and from the airport.

However, I have seen lots and lots of goats. I wonder …

It is, in fact, a cover-up by western airlines. They are among the largest consumers of goats, but we don’t hear about it because the rituals are conducted during that “at-gate” delay. Next time the ground staff tell you that your flight will not leave for another hour, you will know what’s really happening.

That bleating noise that you assumed was the PA system? Think again.

You can fix anything by wrapping a goat in duct tape.

Are we to conclude that if the goat moves, but shouldn’t, we wrap it in duct tape - and if it doesn’t move but should, we spray it with WD-40?

For the same reason you wrap hamsters in duct tape? :eek:

AFAIK, hamsters in duct tape is only for constipation.

Or is it gerbils?

That’s gerbils. You wrap hamsters in duct tape so (TMI warning!):

they won’t explode when you fuck them!


Didn’t see that comin’.

So that’s where the pilots get those snappy jackets.

Watchoo talkin’ about Willis?

They sacrificed a goat???

Awww, come on guys, it’s so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course. It’s all ball bearings nowadays. Aren’t you keeping up with the manuals? Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I’m gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State.

So did the smear the outside of the plane with goat blood or not?

‘Too many goats’ never happens anyway - that’s why we have squid.

That would be above the door and on the side posts, but wrong god.

I´m affraid to point out that “Too many goats” never happens because of the squid…

It’s a foxes and rabbits thing, mostly.

Goats are essential to artillery-based spaceflight.