The voices in your head will want you to drink Coke

Yep, that’s the latest and greatest in ad technology: hypersonic sound. It works by focusing a beam of audio in a specific direction, much like a laser focuses light. While it may be great for certain areas (I’d love to have hypersonic speakers here at work, so I can listen to music without being restricted by headphones), who in all the hells would think that this is an acceptable way to advertise? I know, Satan’s own spawn, and all that. But Jesus Christ in a souped-up hot rod, will normal people stand for this? Or will we all be slowly driven insane? Are there any ends to which the boneheads on Madison Ave. will not go to get a little bit more money? Do they live in the real world, where they have to see their work, or are they restricted to a commune somewhere?

I can’t stand it!!! Not only does the sound seem to generate within oneself, but one can’t turn it off! I don’t know if this will actually be used, though, I would think there would besuch a public outcry (this is presumably before they remove our vocal cords), that, and the fact that the whole thing just sounds too invasive even for most unscrupulous Madison Avenue whores to be able to justify. I will personally boycott any product that uses this method, should it actually come to pass.:eek:

Oh, dear God.

I admit, this sounds like a really neat bit of technology. I mean, I’d love to be able to use a set of these in front of the computer, or on the phone, or whatever. But I’d almost be willing to forgo those advantages just to not have to deal with the illusion of voices in my head telling me to buy shit. Not because I think it’s invasive or whatever–just because I think it’d be annoying as hell. I mean, I can ignore random background noise, but this would seriously disturb me…which’d be bad when I’m, say, working on a poem or something.

Well, not quite yet. And how would this be all that different from K-Mart shouting out the “blue light special” over the P.A.?

And just for the sheer hell of it, here’s Cecil on the previous incarnation of not-so-direct advertising methods:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_187.html
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_344.html

I’m sure my tin-foil hat will protect me, so I have nothing to fear.

We’re all used to ignoring that voice. But a little voice in your head that pitches whatever product you’re standing next to? That’d be much worse.

Imagine going through a supermarket or department store, and being forced to hear literally hundreds of advertisements as you intersect their sound beams; before, nobody tried having lots of different sound ads at once because they’d create an incomprehensible babble, but with focused sound it’s finally practical, because you’ll get them discretely, one after another, over and over and over. Reminds me of the classic novel The Space Merchants.

I hate to tell you, but the voices in my head already tell me to drink Coke. Oh that sweet black liquid, how can I live without you?

I keep getting the CIA cafeteria menu.

Wait until all the retail assistant managers start getting rich taking bribes to aim the General Mills speakers to a point in front of the Post and Kellog’s cereals.