In the UK we don’t say happy holidays because holiday has a different meaning, so what I thought the OP was about was those morons who claim that Christmas is banned by some councils because “it will offend Muslims.”
One of my nieces shared a photo on Facebook with a newspaper headline with that exact phrasing. The “newspaper” was, IIRC, the Daily Mash, but she took it seriously.
Then there’s poor old Coventry council, which gets phonecalls every year around this time from people incensed that that council has banned any reference to Christmas and tells all its workers to call it Winterval instead. There’s not even a shred of truth to this, but people persist in believing it.
I understand that Ted Cruz went up to the North Pole, and now the elves are going to shut down Christmas unless Santa stops socialistically giving toys to children and instead charges them. Not to mention they want to require him to put a gun in every stocking. You never know when the Grinch will show up and the kids have to be prepared.
You guys are way behind. With some mail-order NRA freebies, I’ve already bagged myself two flying reindeer, some weird sled thing, and a couple of flying monkeys with a “SkaldCorp” tattoo. No luck on elves, thus far – those suckers are fast!
Actually I do have several quasi-witty “War on Christmas” ideas that inanely juxtapose “war” and “Christmas” thus creating a hopefully humorous and somewhat veiled critique of the rather silly idea of an actual war on Christmas…but this is such a busy part of the year. Just not enough time, don’t you know.
Perhaps if I could just provide the punchlines, some other doper might be able to come up with actual jokes to go with them. Thanks.
Was this an image macro (an photograph or similar with text on it)? If so, then you just got duped as much as they did. All that happened is that someone who wants their business to be popular put out that image, knowing it would stir up controversy. It doesn’t matter whether you like it, share it, or even reply to it with a scathing statement: you’ve just made that image more popular, thus giving that business more publicity.
That’s the real reason all these image macros always wind up in your feed, even though maybe only one of your friends did anything about it. The large number of people who commented on it make Facebook count it as “important.” This is why I do my best never to comment on such things, and instead actually vote that I don’t want to see it. I’ve even taken the survey.
If that was (quite reasonably) directed to me, I would like to clarify that my complaint was that “Merry Christmas” is no longer a friendly and well intentioned greeting, it is a challenge.
That’s the one you have to go with.
Write the Twelve Wars on Christmas, get it recorded by someone with a pure clear voice and wicked sense of humor, and if you don’t make a million dollars you might at least return Yule to the rest of us.
A few years ago, I wished somebody a “Merry Christmas” at work. I knew that she was a fellow Christian. She froze up like I’d just asked her for some breast milk, and didn’t even answer or look at me, and walked off. Somebody else said “She’s a Jehovah’s Witness”, as if I had done the JW some dirt.
Hey, I didn’t ask her to celebrate Christmas with presents or a tree, I’d just wished her a Merry Christmas.
If some pagan had wished me a happy Beltane (or whatever) or a Muslim a happy Eid al Fitr, I’d say thank you and respond the same. But, as a Christian, all of a sudden I’m the enemy of man because I want them to have a pleasant day which coincides with my holiday.
Now, if the aforementioned different religions wish a Christian a holiday, nobody will give the :rolleyes: because they wished a happy holiday to the Christian. People usually will smirk that the Christian was shocked! But, if a Christian wishes a MC to somebody who doesn’t share my views, all of a sudden he/she is some Torquemada, cursing and damning all who don’t follow their narrow path!
So, now, I try to wish a Merry Christmas to all who can hear me. I don’t care what you do, or where you go when you die, I can’t help that, but, I shan’t be forced to change my wishing you a good day because you worship differently, and are an asshole to boot.
^
Tell them to bring up their kids right, and keep them from whining that Christian kids have all the fun in December. I think this constitutes more than half the problem, not some stupid recognition issue. They really think we’re stupid enough to believe that reason.
No way. Christmas when I was a Catholic? I had to go to MASS. That sucked.
We atheists know how to have the best Decembers. We can celebrate anything we like, and don’t have to dick around with any religious trappings at all. It’s brilliant.
^
There’s hardly anything religious about Ho-Ho-Ho Christmas, except knowing the difference between naughty and nice. And a Haleluiah Christmas is good once in a while, even for kids.
Yes, I know. Many atheists celebrate Christmas and there ain’t anything religious about it. Which is why a statement about Christians having the most fun in December is goofy, since the only thing Christians add is boring religious schtick.
I have zero problems with a Christian wishing a Merry Christmas, or a Happy Christmas, or whatever holiday they are currently celebrating.
What chaps my ass is when I say “Happy holidays” and someone snarls “YOU HAVE TO SAY CHRISTMAS. IT’S CHRISTMAS! NOT GENERIC HOLIDAYS. YOU HAVE TO SAY CHRISTMAS!!!”