I say, damn, I cannot for the life of me remember that name of this book, please, in our combined infinite cache of wisdom oh Dopers, help me!!!
And someone comes in to say, “hey maybe it’s this”. And then THAT person says, now how about this book I remember the plot of, but can’t remember the name?
And so on.
Me first.
Written maybe in the 60’s, it’s about an executive (advertising?) from NY that retires, buys a hotel on an island in the Caribbean, and is all about his trials and tribulations with all of the mechanical problems, and legal issues with the place.
PS: It was a red book, pretty thin and funny as hell.
Sorry, don’t know it, Mr Bus Guy. If you don’t have any luck here, there’s a Name That Book Group on Goodreads you can try. They found one for me in about 15 seconds.
Okay, so in junior high (pretty recent) we had these two anthologies, part of a series, one on humor and one on science fiction, both done in the same style of reprinting material with didactic questions after each story. The one about humor included crank letters from Ted Nancy, a Dave Barry column about parents embarrassing their children by singing in public, and a short story. The short story was about a woman living on a farm who finds these intelligent things living in her well, she drops a dictionary down to help them communicate, they inquire about turkey, her husband falls into the well and they ask for another turkey…
The only thing I remember in the science fiction book is a story about a kid who’s given an assignment to write about the first day of school from an outsider’s point of view. His story is about an alien spy, and it causes consternation among the teachers. He continues to write, having the alien impersonate a teacher and being suspected by a student. This causes more consternation. Finally the kid is brought before the principal, who reveals that his stories are too close to the truth: the principal is an alien spy, and he’ll do to the kid what the fictional alien does to his snooper: erase him from the face of the earth. I know the story is called “Future Perfect”, but damned if that gets me anywhere.
According to the Internet SF Database, the only short story called “Future Perfect” is by A. E. Van Vogt. It’s collected in an anthology called 2020 Vision (here’s the table of contents of the book http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/pl.cgi?ANCL00280)
Looking in WorldCat, I see that a publisher called Perfection Learning had a middle/high school level series called Literature & Thought that included a humor collection called What’s So Funny? (2000) and a science fiction collection called The Sci-Fi Factor (2001, editor Terry Ofner). Both are out of print, but are available used on Amazon.
I can’t find much else about these books, but the humor one is the only book I can find that includes pieces by both Ted L. Nancy and Dave Barry so this may be the right series. The science-fiction one doesn’t seem to have a story called “Future Perfect”, but the only list of contents I could find is for the audiobook version and I’m not sure if it’s complete. Here’s what it says in WorldCat:
Beam me up, Scotty, concept vocabulary
What’s the “science” in science fiction?
Backward step / Paul Jennings
Robot dreams / Isaac Asimov
Terraforming Mars / Margareita Marinova and Christopher P. McKay
Martian sends a postcard home / Craig Raine
Mariana / Fritz Leiber
Who’s out there?
Dark they were, and golden-eyed / Ray Bradbury
Project blue book / Editorial staff, Time-Life Books
What’s Alien you? / Dave Barry
In communication with a UFO / Helen Chasin
Puppet show / Fredric Brown
What can we learn from science fiction?
Star beast / Nicholas Stuart Gray
From science fiction to science fact / Julie Nobles
Lose now, pay later / Carol Farley
Water traders’ dream / Robert Priest
Helping hand / Norman Spinard
Thinking on your own
SQ / Ursula K. LeGuin
All watched over by machines of loving grace / Richard Brautigan
Minister without portfolio / Mildred Clingerman
Choice / W. Hilton-Young
If it helps, the cover is included in the WorldCat record. It’s a rather generic looking space scene, sort of a moonscape with a starry sky and a bright comet or something off to one side.
As a librarian it’s been a bit of an embarrassment for me that I can’t track this one down myself – I’ve managed to do it for other half-remembered books – but about 15 years ago I read a YA fantasy novel set in New York City. I don’t think this was a new book then, it may have been from as far back as the 1970s. The heroine was a teen girl named Valentine, nicknamed Val. I’m vague on the plot, but Val met a mysterious older man (I’m pretty sure he played the violin) who she worked with to preserve magical places in the city. The King Jagiello Monument in Central Park was involved, and I believe at one point it came to life. I’m pretty sure this statue was part of the cover illustration for the book. Anyone know what book this could be?
EDIT: I should have tried one more search before I posted! I’ve looked for this several times in the past couple of years, but just after posting searched again and managed to find it in Google. It’s called The Bronze King, by Suzy McKee Charnas.
I’ve got one - a library book I read many years ago. I remember it as being a large-format hardback, mostly black and damned thick. The genre is hard to describe - kind of sci-fi horror maybe?
It was about a priest who was on trial for murdering his girlfriend when he caught her cheating on him. I think the book was 1st person in the form of his diaries. He had refused to speak ever since he was charged with the murder, so his defence lawyer was having a hard time of it. But the defence lawyer had found some of the priest’s old diaries. The priest believed that this woman had been stalking him through time and every time he was reincarnated, she’d pop up and make his life miserable again. I think there were dream sequences in the diaries that explored some of their previous encounters.
Icky bit in spoiler box:
A climactic scene involved the lawyer entering into evidence a big ol’ jar with a mummified foetus than had been found at the post-mortem and carbon dated to 1,500 years.
I remember the ending quite clearly:
The priest has a dream when he “remembers” his first incarnation (with her). He was a tribal priest and she was pregnant - he beat her and the baby died, but remained inside her. He cursed her that she would never die except by his hand. So she was immortal, but didn’t want to be, which is why she kept hunting down his incarnations and being a bitch to him, trying to provoke him to kill her. The priest is found not guilty, then a woman stands up in court and is all “there’s pics of me in the paper saying that I’m dead, what the hell?” and it’s HER. In the hubbub she slips away and the priest follows her.
I’ve just been searching a bit for Across’s book, but haven’t found anything likely. I turned up a book called Shades of Yesterday by Susan Grace that has a similar concept, it’s about a woman who writes historic mysteries and eventually realizes she’s writing about her own past lives…and that whoever murdered her 30 years ago may be after her again. But it’s a fairly recent book and the details don’t match what Across remembers.
Are you sure the main character was a priest? I ask just because it seems odd that a priest would have a girlfriend, although I guess that’s far from the least plausible thing about the book.
Yeah, it’s the whole screwing-up-his-life-in-every-way-possible thing. She turns up at his church for confession and he’s irresistibly attracted to her even though he knows he shouldn’t be and she slowly corrupts him into betraying his vows. Which makes her betrayal with another man worse for him.
Just to be clear, the book opens with the trial’s opening statements, and the story unfolds with testimony, flashbacks and diary entries.
I went back to the library to try and find the book without any luck. I’m guessing I probably read it more than 10 years ago, which means it was probably published pre-1995.
Can’t help with the ones asked but I have one, or rather three. They’re a fantasy trilogy.
The one I remember best is the last book. The first two books follow this guy through his life/world, they’re all magicians of some kind but with very little magic/learning in magic but in the distant past powerful mages ruled with an iron fist and so they have to hide what they are and meet in secret and have all these rules. What defeated the mages was another mage, and iirc they call him a saint and say that he will return and they will be able to live openly without fear of being killed.
The third book involves him finding his way into a mage’s stronghold that is not as ruined as it seems. Something happens to start the magic up again, the mage appears and the guy disappears (I keep thinking Brendan for a name but that might be wrong). He wakes up in the past with a medallion around his neck that is the name of the saint (or maybe he brought it with him, had been wearing it like a Catholic wears) and everyone starts calling him that name. He ends up apprenticed to a mage, and works his way up through the ranks while secretly meeting with people in the town who are moderately talented and teaching them the rules he was taught as a boy to keep from discovery.
He ends up being the catalyst for the destruction of the mages, he builds himself a stronghold on the moon and goes to live there. When his time (the time he was born in) comes around again, he kidnaps his family just before they die, putting simulacrums in their place and healing them so they all end up alive and well on the moon while not wrecking the integrity of the timeline (all the magic/learning have made him pretty much immortal). When the ruins are discovered by him, he goes there and sends himself back before going to kill the last mage who escaped the massacre way back when.
Been bugging me, and I know I have one of the books around but I can’t seem to find it.
Across, I’ve tried a few more searches but haven’t been able to find anything that sounds like the book you described. I hope someone else who’s read it can identify it for you, because I’m rather curious myself now!
I read a book about a boy that was kidnapped by some political militants??? Arghhh…so fuzzy…trying to piece together… on the cover there was a graphic of the boy running from the couple, looking terrified…
The boy was brainwashed by the kidnappers, and they thought that they had succeeded in brainwashing him to carry out some kind of…plan that they had. They gave him a big gun, and he was supposed to carry out the plan for them, and I think he developed some stockholm syndrome type deal, and none of this is helping anyone to help me and I shall forever be haunted by fragmented parts of a book that I can neither recall nor forget.
Okay, guys, if you can solve this one, I will put on all the hats I own just to be able to take them all off for you.
I was in fourth grade. This would make it about 199…3-4? We read a book in class. It was by a British author, I think. It had a boy. And a witch. And a talking badger, maybe? And islands, which were in the shape of letters and spelled something when looked at from above. And I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what it was. I was telling a friend about this book last night and he looked at me like I’d grown another head. Please help me, I don’t* think* I imagined the whole thing…
Mine is an illustrated children’s book from at the latest the late 70s, about another planet with peaceful citizens who are invaded by aliens and they retreat below ground while the aliens plunder their planet, and then leave when they obtain all the resources. Then the original inhabitants of the planet re-emerge and start building their lifeless planet again.