In an ingenious reworking of the old Frank Baum tale, the scarecrow gets stomped as just revenge for a dirty play.
It happened in Sunday’s Houston Texans-Miami Dolphins game, when Dolphins QB Trent Green tried to block Houston defensive end Travis Johnson and wound up getting kneed in the head:
"The 315-pound Johnson went on an expletive-laced rant in the locker room, apparently because he didn’t like the low block Green threw.
“It was a malicious hit,” Johnson said. “It was uncalled for. He’s like the scarecrow. He wants to get courage while I wasn’t looking and hit me in my knee instead of trying to hit me in my head. God don’t like ugly, you know what I mean?”
Stay tuned for next week’s contest, when the flying monkeys cover kickoffs and the Wicked Witch of the West shakes her booty for the cheerleading squad.
I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with the doctors
Consultin’ ‘bout the pain
And my helmet, I’d be tacklin’
While my thoughts were busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.
I’d break down ev’ry formation
And spread the information
To sack the QB again
If my brain was like a think tank
I could read 'em like Weeb Ewbank,
If I only had a brain.
Oh, I could tell you why
The Dolphins are 0-and-five,
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I’d sit and think some more.
I would not be just a meathead
My head all full of sweetbread
My knees all full of pain.
I would take each block and match it
I could tip the ball and catch it
If I only had a brain!