I’ve dated a lot (lot,lot,lot) in my lifetime, but I’ve only been on two blind dates.
#1 was in high school, when one of my buddie’s girlfriends fixed me up with a friend of hers. The blind date girl was very good looking, and we hit it off from the start. We were together for six or seven months, until her folks moved to another state and that ended that.
Blind date #2 was a few decades later. My (then) teenage son started seeing a girl, but they didn’t fit very well.
He then set in on me about her mom: “You gotta’ meet her mom! Her mom is hot! Her mom is cool!”
So I ask “Is this mom hot or cool? : Make up your mind.” Anyway, he kept agitating about me meeting this woman, cooking up situations that had to be avoided, etc., until it became embarrassing. I finally agreed to call this mom and ask her out.
“Ah-ha”, I says to myself. “I’ll put the wraps on this deal quick. I’ll take her to a ball game, thus boring her to tears and then I’ll take her back home. Junior will shut-the-fuck-up about it, and peace will be restored.”
So I took her to a ball game. Then I took her to several other places. Then four months later we got married and this month we celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary. Ever since then, there’s been a limit to just how mad I can get at that boy!
So my blind date experience was great: Two times at bat, two home runs.
Are you kidding. At 14, she’ll read this and think, “Cool. He has a car. He’s out of school, so all of my friends will think I’m so cool for dating an older, more sophisticated guy. My parents will hate him. He’s got this Goth thing going, hanging out in cemetaries and all. Maybe I’ll go hang out at the Food Court and see if I run into him.”
"Mom, can I go to the mall with Teri?
Either you’re stalking me, or that’s one hell of a funny coincidence! Her godmama is named Teri (one “r”, one “i”), and would be *exactly *the sort of Auntie who would indeed take her to the mall to cruise bad boys!
Thanks, my cereal milk is now spat in a decorative fashion all over my monitor, and the baby (future 14 year old) is saying, “Mama laugh?”, which is only making it worse!
Nope, can’t compete with that, except for being set up with girls that have “good personalities” - friend code for “they tip the scales at twice your weight.”
There is the girl that, out of nowhere, asked me “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?” After some banter about my monotheistic but somewhat agnostic beliefs, she handed me some Chick tracts. Yes, she was quite serious about it. In doing so, though, she knocked my hot cup of coffee, with the contents spilling onto my crotch.
My patheric blind date story pales… I was 20, and very recently stationed at NAS North Island in San Diego. I hadn’t really met anyone so I accepted when a friend said she could fix me up with a Marine she knew. It was a double date blind date thing. We went to see a movie - The Omen. The movie was the high point of the evening, and I hated it! My date hardly talked to me, and since I used to be really shy, I didn’t initiate any conversation. I don’t remember his name, and I never saw him again. I don’t recall hanging out with that friend much after that, either.
“Coon”, yes, that’s exact. You don’t tend to forget that when you hear it, not only for its level of offensiveness but because it isn’t something you commonly hear. “Skinhead neo-nazi”… I can’t say with 100% certainty 11 years after the fact that I reported that accurately. Most likely it was just “skinhead” or “nazi” or something to that effect. I doubt he had the ability to string together that many polysyllabic words.
My husband is neither boring nor dull, thankfully. He definitely keeps me on my toes, just not in a Jared Barnett sort of way.
I have no idea where Jared is, and my relationship with my so-called “friend” who set up the date went downhill pretty fast after that. However, Googling “Jared Barnett” (not his real name) turns up several reviews for a book about an accused murderer of the same name. Interesting.
