Date from hell (long)

I’m not a very good writer which is probably I mostly lurk here but right now I still have to vent, so please bear with me.

I went on a blind date this weekend set up by a friend of mine. I imagine that she has told the guy that I’m nice, funny, intelligent, good looking but also overweight. He calls me, to set up a time and place too meet. We discuss the movie he wants to see and I agree to go with him even though it’s far from the top of my list. Near the end of the conversation, in case my friend forgot to tell him, I mention that I’m overweight. After a long silence, he goes into this speech how it doesn’t matter, it’s the inside that counts. Having been hurt before that kind of speech I tend not to believe it when they push the issue. But I figured since he’s a friend of a friend, I’ll take him at face value.

We were meeting at the bar of an Italian restaurant. He was already there when I got there. I walked up to him said Hello, I’m Jools, he replied OH! it’s you. OK OK I know I should’ve turned around but… He told me to wait he wasn’t finished with his game (poker machine), turn his back and kept on playing. I stood there for a moment and looked a bit embarrassed, ordered a drink, and started to talk with the barman and two other customers sitting next to me. Once Mister was finished with his game, he turned his attention to me, took my arm and took me into the dining area. As we sat down to our table, he told me he didn’t like when a date of his was entertaining other men, and he used the N word (the barman was a black man). I was to say the least in a state of shock, but again decided to shrug it off and give him another chance.

When our waiter showed up, I made small talk with him (to me just being friendly, to that twit I was with flirting…), I give my order to the waiter: penne alla’rabiata. He (the date) interjects that maybe you should NOT be eating pasta, they seem to have a good choice of salad. The waiter looks terribly embarrassed as I turn 10 shades of red and say no thank I’ll have the pasta. By that point I using every method I know of to remain calm and not blow a gasket, and I keep eyeing the exit.

Once the waiter left, he proceeds to talk about my weight, how pretty I am and how I should loose weight, how bad it is for me to be like this. NO SHIT EINSTEIN… Then, while we’re eating, he keeps at it, talking about working out (which I do every day), eating right (which I try to do) and operations to loose weight (which I will not consider). I barely uttered a word, eating my salad (side order) and bread, I will not defend how I look, I’m working hard at loosing the weight but that’s none of his business. The only thing I said after 10 minutes of his rambling on is “Can we change the subject?”, to which he agreed.

What did he talk about??? Girls in general, how we were not equal to men, that he didn’t believe in equal pay for equal work, because there is no way a girl can do a job equal to a man (I will spare you all the examples he gave me). At that point, I started laughing, looked around the restaurant for familiar faces, hidden cameras, this HAD to be a joke, but no such luck, this guy was for real.

What came next, sent me into a state of utter shock. He told me that he was having a good time (how is beyond me) and that maybe we should go back to his place instead of seeing the movie, (believe me at that point I would’ve given my right arm to see XXX). All that time he looked like he was trying to be seductive.

I actually looked at him and asked point blank, are you talking about sex? Yeah I am… the arrogance of that man. He then told me that even though he would never consider me as girlfriend material (too fat and too liberal), I am “lay” material, that I had tits and lips for fucking, Yes ladies and gentlemen those were his exact words. The only word that comes to mind to describe how I felt is violent. He kept on talking about me probably not get laid that much so… I wish I could remember but I black out at that point, I didn’t hear him, I was barely seeing him.

How can you respond to that? I didn’t know how, so instead of stabbing him with my butter knife then cutting his manhood out, I got up, took my purse and walked out. I didn’t say a word, I just walked out, I was shaking. I had to go for a walk before driving, I was too mad to drive.

Does anybody out there knew men like that still existed? He never once spoke of women as women, he referred to us as girls or females… Jesus Christ I’m 37 years old, I’ve earned the right to be called a woman. He’s never been married and 43… wonder why???

Now I wonder what I should tell my friend? Because right now I really want to shred her to pieces… I am even questionning the friendship.

:mad:

Why does your friend know this guy?

What Daowajan asked.

And I also would like to add that from what I’ve heard of blind dates, they tend to be disasters.

I trust NO ONE enough to set me up on a blind date…

What a piece of shit he was too! Good for you to walk out!

As for your friend, yes confront her on this…

He owns the company that takes care of her condo complex. How exactly she knows him I have no clue, but she should’ve known he was not my type (as if he is anybody’s type).

I will confront her, but I do have to calm down first, because I don’t want to take out my anger on her… well not all of it anyways!

Jools that guy was a total peice of shit. In your friends defence though I would ask questions before I went off on her. This guy may have been pulling the wool over her eyes.

Oh my Gawd!

Oreo his car. It’s the only solution.

It’s not illegal, and besides - how do you dust for an oreo?

Al.

Oh my! What a horrible experience! As a larger than normal woman I am right there with you… this guy takes the prize for jerkiness. You did the right thing in walking out, and you should give your friend a piece of your mind for setting you up with that creep.

. . .oh my God.

jools, it looks like you showed admirable self-restraint here; you deserve a kudos for that. Me, I would’ve probably killed the son of a bitch.

Actually, no; I’d really like to find a man like that. That way, next time I feel like killing someone, all I have to do is talk to him and–BAM–justifiable homicide.

I’m sorry you had to go through that hell. I hope you take comfort in the fact that this man will probably die sad, unloved, and alone. 'Cause karma’s a bitch, and he’s gonna get it in spades.

Oh gosh, what a shit! I would probably have at least tossed my drink into his face and poured my salad in his lap before walking out.

What a LOSER!!!

Angel of the Lord is spot on about karma. There is no way this guy is ever going to even get a pity fuck.

“'Cause karma’s a bitch, and he’s gonna get it in spades.”

I sure hope so…

Maybe I’m just too naive to believe that there are still guys out there that think like that…but…maybe he sabotaged the date on purpose, and doesn’t really believe all those things. Would a person really tell someone they aren’t girlfriend material then expect to get sex?

Either way, he’s an asshole, but he seems too evil to be true.

Hmmm…that’s an interesting point. Anything’s possible, just that he could have simply called off the date before it began…

For those interested, there is a new development which makes him even worse, as if that was possible at all. When I came home from work I had a message from my friend. She bumped into him today, and he told her I was a bitch because I stuck him with the check… HOLY SHIT how low will this guy sink… I have not been able to call her back, working nights and coming home too late to call, but first thing tomorrow morning, I’m calling… I don’t care if I still too mad, but … jesus sticking with the check is the only thing that pissed him off. The fact that I got up right in front of him and left…

Well Holden you might be right, I can’t believe it either… but it did seem genuine. He was insulted when I started laughing, telling him that this date must be a joke…

What is the moral of this story? NO MORE BLIND DATES FOR ME… NEVER AGAIN… and if I’m ever tempted to say yes to one again, just shoot me!!!

In the defense of blind dates I met one of my exboyfriends on a blind date. The break up was a mutual thing; we both wern’t ready to settle. I must say he is one of the most wonderful guys I have ever met. We didn’t really click on the first date that much, but we ended up being really close. I still kind of regret being too young and immature to realize how wonderful he really was.

Jools, I think this is a situation for a line I’ve never needed yet:

Sorry, I don’t date (or fuck, if you prefer) outside my species.

May he go on a date with a woman who is the most beautiful woman he ever imagined if not a bit more so, only to be treated by her the way he treated you. Call it a learning experience.

CJ

I have had some excellent blind dates. The Andrew Dice Clay impersonator is who is he is, was before you met him, and will be after you left, the person you really need to talk with in this scenario is your friend for pointing him in your direction.

1: Either her judgement about men is amazingly poor.

2: She feels pity for you and thinks that hooking you up with anyone is doing you a favor.

3: The fact that he has some money makes him OK.

It is probable (based on your description of events) that she did not tell him how heavy you were and this probably directed some of his “pump and dump” reaction to you once he committed to the date. He was just an asshole and you are well rid of him, but the world is also full of polite people making unspoken mating decisons that are just as harsh based on appearance. I suppose you should be grateful on one level that he did not have the finesse to fool you about his real intentions.

wow. that guy really needs a cockpunch.

Racist
Sexist
Rude
Egocentrical
Stupid

A winner combination!

I’m really sorry for you. You met the worst possible blind date ever (excluding jack the ripper maybe).

And what was your friend thinking? Sure, being fat and 37 aren’t exactly the best cards to play with, but that sure as hell doesn’t justify someone anywhere like this.

*A winning combination
anywhere near as bad I meant.

I should really stop changing my sentences in the middle.

Jools, please forgive me for my skepticism, but your description of this arsewipe from hell just sounds too bad to be true. IF it IS true, then heaven-bloody-help-us…

Hey, have you got his phone no. or email addie? Could be a bit of fun to be had dontcha reckon??? While I’d normally shake my head and mutter under my breath about the insensitivities of SOME people, this bloke deserves a little more proactive RE-EDUCATION…bwahahahahaaaaaaaa :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

(I am not suggesting anything truly evil…much)