My neighbor’s fiancee rang my doorbell one day. When I opened the door I found her holding her cellphone in one hand and a cordless phone in the other. She was clearly frantic, and eventually she was able to explain that when she opened her beloved’s front door she smelled smoke and she didn’t know what to do.
“Call 9-1-1?” I suggested.
“Oh, right! What’s their number?”
“Um, 9-1-1.”
“Can I borrow your phone?”
(Turned out the smoke was from forest fires 20 miles away. I learned later that she’s a pediatric emergency nurse.)
What’s the difference between the steak and the steak with shrimp?
How many shrimp do I get in the dozen shrimp platter?
Worst question in higher education:
While studying Plato in Philosophy 101 (in community college, why, Og, why?!):
I heard that Plato and Socrates was homosexual…uh…
(I guess it was supposed to be a question)
Also in the non-question, stupid question department:
An older “gentleman” while on a free public tour of the Rodin museum with ten of my middle school students:
Uh… I see that Rodin liked the “backs” of women more than the “fronts” uh… uh… why? (With accompanying hand gestures)
I nearly turned him to stone with the look I gave him. Followed by getting the kids far away from the dirty old man.
If I wasn’t personally aquatinted with a large (more than 10) number of people who call themselves vegetarians but really eat fish, or fish and fowl I’d consider this a stupid question too. There’s lots of people who say they are veggie when they really mean they don’t eat quadrupeds or they are trying to stay vaguely kosher.
This was said to my friend after calling her on her land line. :smack:
To my credit, she is in the middle of moving all of her stuff to her new place, as well as moving all of her f**kpuppets stuff from his old place, so she could have been anywhere!
Right?
Another one that pops up with dismaying regularity is when I issue a temporary password to a user. At their next login, the system says “Your password has expired. You must change it now.” At least once a week, I’m asked “Does this mean I need to change my password?”
Not a question exactly, but I had a roommate who thought she was being pretty clever when she ordered Chinese food she’d add: “oh, and don’t use any MSG, I’m diabetic.”
Close. I’m a systems trainer for a computer manufacturer. I just like to break up the sessions with a lil’ levity.
