There will be no Times tomorrow. Thank you.

Out on the sidewalk in front of my house there was a newspaper. Since I had already collected the regular paper, I wondered what it was. Sometime the local (useless) paper gives out free ones. So I went to check it out.

The Final Times.

Wow. It looks like someone is proud of going out of business. This is it, the Final Times. Last issue was probably The Next To Last Times. (I was going to say The Penultimate Times, but I don’t think the people who read The Final Times would get that.)

I think I know where this came from. Me and my immediate neighbors were the only houses on the street with… this laying out in front. The next house is the Home-Schooling Church-Going Promise-Keeping Good Family. They must be watching out for my Eternal Soul. Which is a load off my mind. Now I won’t have to keep an eye out for it and make sure it doesn’t play in the street.

I’m half-tempted to open it up and look inside. But I need more tempting than that. Allllllthough… if they have the inside scoop and just know that these are the End of Days, maybe they have the lottery numbers for next week too…

Too bad I don’t have a bird.

These are the Days of my Life…

I considered giving Rue the bird, but it might be taken wrong… :smiley:

Go ahead - open it! We can help you do the crossword puzzle!!

7 across. Three letters. Most powerful being.
9 across. Three letters. The creator of everything.
3 down. Three letters. The source of all goodness.
12 across. Three letters. Our father.
I gotta say, I’m stumped.

You are to modest.
Try Rue !!!

OK I’ll take a stab. Is it Bob?

Or perhaps a diety for dyslexics: Dog?

In other news:
Out here, people who don’t subscribe to the local paper, (I’m not naming any names here, but their initials are The Oregonian) are given, free of charge, their minimun daily requirement of newspaper advertising in a newspaper lookalike called, IIRC, Foodday. This enlightening tome contains many of the ad papers we would normally get in their regular offering, along with a couple pages of recipes, all delivered with the same panache and precision the delivery boy usually reserves for his paying customers, which is to say, it’s usually in the street, under the truck, or in one of the rose bushs. I sometimes think he fires the paper at our house from the end of the street with some sort of slingshot device.

Um…what was the question again?

Oh yeah, consider yourself lucky, around here, even if we don’t want the paper, we get the paper.

Open it and tell us what it is.

3 letters? Source of all goodness?

IPU, of course!

Rest of the answers:


Rue, you absoultely must take this opportunity to save the Home-Schooling Church-Going Promise-Keeping Good Family. If you truly love Cecil, and all he stands for, you must witness for Him.

Print out some columns and stash them the neighbors’ mailbox. Heck, go to “teemings extras” (thanks, Euty) and print your stories and add them too.

Then, on some nice sunshiney Saturday afternoon, you can put on a jacket and tie (and nothing else) and go knock on their door.

When they answer, just barge in and witness for two hours about Christ’s Real First Name, Why We Don’t See Baby Pigeons, and Happy Fuzzy Bunnies.

Do your Cecil-given duty, and save them from the horrible clutches of ignorance.

Exgineer, I love your wardrobe suggestion. Of course, since there are likely to be children present, I think Winnie-the-Pooh underoos would engage their attention.

Well, they’d get my attention…

Apart from that, it’s a capital idea!!!

you’ve given me an idea for the next time the Jehovah’s Witnesses (and just what did they witness, hmm?) come pounding on my door at 9 a.m. Instead of just grumbling at them for waking up the Poor Lab Tech Who Works Evening Shift I’ll just meet them wearing only my glasses.

That oughta scare the bejebus out of 'em.
dwyr the soulless
[sub](well… actually I’ve got a soul, it’s real tiny though and I keep it in a shoebox)[/sub]

Winnie-the-Pooh Underoos?! For Rue? No way.

Spiderman Underoos, maybe. You may think that Rue is just this friendly, happy, harmless guy, but don’t anybody dare tick him off.

Rue is cunning and merciless when he needs to be. He can also handle anything that comes his way with elegance and panache. It all depends on the situation. He asks himself, “do I utterly destroy this nitwit out of hand, or do I devise a clever scheme to trick him into destroying himself.”

Then he says, “forget it, I’ll just fix lunch for Soupo and Katcha and then play all afternoon.”

Because Rue is also really good at keeping things in perspective.

[sub]My first post was in a Rue thread. So were my 100th and 101st. I need to go outside and mow the lawn or something.[/sub]

Actually, I don’t think Rue is harmless… It’s all an act. Soupo and Katcha are probably figments of his imagination. And I’m betting he really lives in a tree or something and he posts from a library, and the librarians look worried whenever he comes in because he starts babbling as soon as he sits at the computer…

Of course, I could be wrong. Regardless, I’d pay good money to see him in Winnie-the-Pooh Underoos. That’s my fantasy Rue, oh yeah…

I’m sorry - you were saying???

Oh yeah…

FairyChatMom paying Rue DeDay to wear Winnie-the-Pooh Underoos, and the rest of us get to watch. Yeah, baby…

Dear God, I think I need psychiatric help.