Hi everyone, I figured that if I wanted to find out the lyrics to a song like this, the SDMB would be the best place…i’m sure you’ve all heard it, the first line is: There’s a hole in the bucket dear eliza dear eliza…
Thanx- David
They did this on “Sesame Street” once…
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.
Well, fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
Well, fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.
With what shall I fix it, etc.
With a stick, etc.
The stick is too big, etc.
Then cut it, etc.
With what shall I cut it, etc.
With an ax, etc.
The ax is too dull, etc.
Then sharpen it, etc.
With what shall I sharpen it, etc.
With a stone, etc.
The stone is too dry, etc.
Then wet it, etc.
But there’s a hole in the bucket, etc…
(Henry sounds like a handful to me.)
This song has haunted me since I was three. I can’t remember all the words either. What I do know is this.
There’s a hole in my bucket dear 'Liza.
Well fix it dear 'Enry.
With what shall I fix it dear 'Liza?
With a rope dear 'Enry.
With what shall I cut it dear 'Liza?
With a knife dear 'Enry.
The knife’s too dull dear 'Liza.
Well sharpen it dear 'Enry.
With what shall I sharpen it dear 'Liza?
With a stone dear 'Enry.
The stone is too dry dear 'Liza.
Well wet it dear 'Enry.
With what shall I wet it dear 'Liza?
With some water dear 'Enry.
With what shall I fetch it dear 'Liza?
With a bucket dear 'Enry.
There’s a hole in my bucket dear 'Liza.
On and on…ad infinitum.
I don’t think this is the whole song tho’. I think there’s a part I’m leaving out. It’s drove me nuts for a while now but I can’t justify going out and searching the internet for a stupid song, for the answer. Maybe I’m just lazy.
The rest of it goes pretty much like this (sans all the repetition:
Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry
With what shall I fix it it?
With a stick
But the stick is too big
Then cut it
With what shall I cut it?
With a hatchet
But the hatchet’s too dull
Then sharpen it
With what shall I sharpen it?
With the stone
But the stone is too dry
Then wet it
Then there’s something about how, or what to carry the water in. Eliza ends up replying with the bucket, to which Hendry points out that the bucket has a hole in it.
I’m glad I grew up with Sesame Street.
Arg! I just knew someone was going to beat me to it!
I used to love that song! Henry is just a tad high-maintenance, though - does he remind any Dopers of coworkers?
I hate you people with a passion. I shall never rid myself of the haunting memory of a brother and sister who sang this at an elementary school talent show. There is a special place in hell for you all. Thank you and carry on.
Zette
A stick?? A hatchet/axe?? A rope? I’ve never heard them sung that way and I learned mine in Guides… Mine goes…
There’s a hole in my bucket dear Liza dear Liza
There’s a hole in my bucket dear Liza a hole.
Then fix it dear Henry dear Henry dear Henry
Then fix it dear Henry dear Henry fix it.
With what shall I fix it?
With straw…
The straw is too long…
Then cut it…
The knife is too dull…
Then sharpen it…
The stone is too dry…
Then wet it…
With what shall I wet it?
With water…
How shall I draw it?
With the bucket…
and you either end it there or you go all through it again. Now you must excuse me I need to go blast some Great Big Sea to cleanse my mind.
A straw??? no freakin’ WAY! and none of that stick stuff either. Here we go, the real version. 
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza…
Then, fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it…
With what shall I fix it…
With a rock you can mend it…
A rock is too hard…
Then soften it…
With what can I soften it…
With water you can soften it…
In what shall I carry it…
In a bucket you can carry it…
There’s a hole in the bucket…
and over and over and over and over and over
Almost as bad as This is the song that never ends…
The version with the straw is how I recall the thing.
Ah yes, and it’s annoying.
…not A straw… but STRAW… as in wadded up tight and jammed in the hole. Thats the real version. 
This is the song that never ends,
It just goes on and on, my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,
And they’ll continue sinigng it forever jsut because…
LL ← now turning on Winamp to get these stupid songs out of his head 
As Whammo said not A straw but straw as in the stuff that you grow… you could stuff it in as he said but I think it refers to the weaving of the straw to make a ‘bucket’ that could be waterproofed (more or less) to carry it for at least short distances… that’s why you have to cut it because you need to weave it back in to fill the space… That’s my personal theory at least.
I concur. Because back in the 70’s I remember seeing a variety show starring Tony Orlando and Dawn, and Tony sang the strawed version. So there!