We’ve all been clueless about various things at some point. I definitely have. But something that happened last week at work still leaves me puzzled.
I was in a toilet stall minding my business when someone grabbed the door handle and pulled. I hate that. Of course, I had locked the door but I don’t like being… disturbed. Plus this shouldn’t even happen as there’s a red sign that shows the stall is occupied. Anyways.
Clueless guy tried a second time, harder. I was getting annoyed.
He tried a ******* third time. I was now officially pissed off. Clueless guy must have sensed it because he left, at last.
Plot twist, he was back less than 30 seconds later, with reinforcements !
He grabbed the door handle again and pulled so hard the whole doorframe was shaking. Then, I heard one of our cleaning staff state the painfully obvious as matter-of-factedly as he could : “Well, there’s someone in there.”
How can you go through life not only not knowing that a locked toilet door means that you cannot use it right now, but also thinking that calling “tech support” is going to solve the issue ?
Any other examples of people who made you wonder how they manage to put their pants on in the morning ? Let’s leave anti-vaxxers, flat-earthers and assorted nuts out of this thread. While their rambling are stunningly moronic, they do require some minimal level of reasoning albeit pathetically flawed.
I’m looking for people who lack the most basic understanding of how reality works, things that we expect kids to master by the time they leave kindergarten.
I’m judging. Kids pull pranks like locking the door and crawling out. And, I shouldn’t have to bend over to peek under the door to see if someone is there or if the door is broken. At least give us an “ahem” if you don’t want to embarrass yourself by speaking a couple of actual words.
Yeah, I guess I have at least a little judgement. Cough, for Pete’s sake. Sitting in silence is not the crime of the century, but probably earns someone an extra 4 seconds in purgatory.
Since you didn’t answer he may have thought that someone was in there doing drugs. Sometimes people don’t think clearly when they are shitting in their pants.
HOA members are apparently IQ tested before being allowed to serve. If above 40 or so, I assume some sort of lobotomy is performed.
Story: My next door neighbor and I share a fence/property line, with front fences running from our houses to meet in the middle. His fence is stained black, 8 feet high and has a distinct interleaved pattern of boards, along with a bright multi-colored display of rope lighting along the top. My fence is a light cedar color, 6 feet high, with normal side-by-side pickets (and no lights).
He decided to extend the middle fence line out toward the street for some reason. The new build matches his fence in every way, jet black color, interleaved board pattern, and even the rope lighting all the way to the end. This violates a host of HOA regs regarding setbacks, but it’s not my problem – or so I thought.
Let me be clear – if asked “Which house owns that fence?”, a four year old could correctly identify it. The differences are stark and apparent to anyone with a functioning brain.
Probably don’t need to explain this, I assume you can guess which of us got served with a violation and take-down notice, along with the various threats of liens, etc. After a few weeks of emailing and back-and-forth, I got the violation removed and they went after him.
Now the best part. Neighbor is a builder, and deals constantly with the courthouse and building regs/etc. He told them to pound sand and they’ve now discovered what he knew all along. In our fair city, covenants have a 20 year lifespan and must be renewed via some process to remain in effect. Until they get the renewal through city council, any construction during this period is grandfathered in. HOA members didn’t know this, and ours are out of date and no longer valid. Neighbor explained this to me and said I could build a working Ferris wheel in my front yard and the HOA can’t do anything about it.
We were in NOLA at JazzFest one year having a fantastic drunken time. At one of the “comfort stations” (love that term) there were a dozen portapotties, with a line for eleven of them.
Periodically someone (always a woman) would go up to the one with no line and open the door. They’d immediately shut it and get in a line.
Even after seeing this, another woman would leave her line and peek in, as if thinking it couldn’t be that bad. Apparently it was. You couldn’t pay me enough to even hazard a glance.
Our shared-wall neighbors are among the stupidest people anywhere. Their dumbfuckery is too long to list, but here’s one:
When they moved in twenty years ago, there was a big handsome Japanese maple in the center of the front yard. Their house, our house, and all the homes in this neighborhood came equipped with automatic sprinkler systems for our yards. There’s a big plastic box in the garage labeled something like “AUTOMATIC SPRINKLER SYSTEM”. It’s super-easy to work, and theirs was working fine for the immediately previous neighbor. But these guys apparently couldn’t make the connection between that big box in the garage and getting the front yard watered. First they let the lawn die from lack of water, then the beautiful Japanese maple got starved out. The HOA got after them for having a dead neglected yard, and then you’d see the homeowner out front once in awhile manually (and sullenly) watering the dead lawn with a hose. She didn’t do it very often, though, and the last remaining struggling bushes all eventually died too.
Then one day we overheard them on their driveway excitedly talking about what they had just noticed in their own garage after four or five years of residence: an automatic sprinkler system! Who’d have thought it! Later that day we heard their system chug to life. Eventually their lawn re-greened, but nothing else has been replaced.
I was in for three years. I remember a colonel who told us “Don’t give it to me in Zulu time, give it to me in real time!” Col. Black was also the one who would use our radio to call up a helicopter to go to the small units near the DMZ to do snap inspections, not realizing that as soon as he left we would call the units to let them know he was on the way. The same guy who set a 24 hour guard on the vandalized statue of a tiger. And dumbest of all did not recieve a visiting general, a woman, because he didn’t approve of women in the military, at least not in command positions. That one got him in trouble.
This was in South Korea, in 1976. I was at Camp Humphries. Gen. Mary Clark visited our post, the security section I was part of. She was particularly interested in how women were doing. Col. Black, don’t remember his first name, made an excuse not to be there to recieve her. I gather that he never did get a general’s star after this, and his next posting was some small unit as second in command at Ft. Hood.
When Black arrived to take his posting it was a blazing hot July day. His flight was late but he sent out that :“the day I arrive is the day I take command” So we had to wait in formation on the hot blacktop of the motorpool. Three of us fainted from the heat, but no apology of course.
He would chew out staff during meetings, with other officers and enlisted present.
My job has 100 people and apparently 50 of them also don’t know how restroom doors work.
We have SIX individual restrooms in one area (and they’re the self-contained ones with a single toilet, sink, locked door etc), and apparently people will pull the door handle, find it’s locked, then either KNOCK on the door or start fighting with the handle again to try it.
Mind you there’s SIX restrooms in the area, and I can guarantee all six aren’t being used, so putting all the effort into getting into a single locked stall in don’t understand.
