it is well-intentioned, at least in their mind. people like this truly believe they are being helpful. I think it’s just a case of extreme self-absorption. like the “computer guy” spoken of earlier who thinks he needs to re-arrange everyone’s desktops.
I like this one exchange from the old '50s Dennis the Menace TV show, between Mr. and Mrs. Wilson.
Mrs. Wilson: Oh, George… He means well.
Mr. Wilson: Locusts mean well, Martha!
Wow! What kind of person does this?
Do not leave this person alone in your home again, they have no boundaries and won’t ever respect yours, accept that as given.
Do not leave your children unsupervised with this person unless you fancy new haircuts, braces etc!
Save your energy swinging the clue by four, it ain’t going to help. Not even one little bit. She still thinks she’s in the right, I promise you.
And the next time you’re at her place feel free to replace the towels with something ratty from the second hand store, move something she’ll need inside of 12hrs, well out of reach, and throw out whatever’s she’s got on deck for dinner, from the fridge. Shouldn’t take but ten minutes., I think!
I would seriously not have this person in my home again. If she presses, I’d say, “Last time you were in my house, you threw away my dinner. You don’t get to come back into my house now.”
I’m having a bit of a territorial conflict with my aunt, who last week apparently decided that I’m not the right person to purchase Grandma’s flat after all (she wants to get about twice as much as it’s actually worth, apparently the woman can’t count despite having been an accountant for 40 years). I rent Grandma’s flat, aunt is one of the people who have keys and she’s occasionally used it to sleep after going to the theater, or simply to use the bathroom; normally I wouldn’t know if it wasn’t because she leaves the toilet lid up.
Last week she left two lights on, the router connected, the fridge at 3 despite only containing a jar with faucet water, and several other items out of place.
Maybe we should get kitty trays for your sister and my aunt before they start peeing on the sofa, Skald. Or maybe I should change the locks (will happen if the current going-ons don’t get solved to my satisfaction) and you should get a better babysitter.
I am envisioning a wonderfully complex family dynamic, the kind in those heart-wrenching comedies aimed at women … most of whom would have decked your sister.
Are you her baby brother? Is your wife measurably younger than her (and/or you)? Is she a “home-maker” and Mrs. Skald a “career woman”? (Even if your sister is an EVP now that the kids have grown, and Mrs. Skald is home with the kids.)
And are you from the South or of Italian descent?
Never mind, it doesn’t matter - she loves you and you got better towels out of the deal (synthetic fibers do not absorb water as well as cotton), and you can unplug the t.v. and laugh about her, and write a screen play and sell it for millions of dollars.
Was she out of line? Yes. Will she ever acknowledge that lines apply to Family? No. Will she drive you nuts like this until the day you die? Yes, unless she dies first.
And then your niece will step up, and don’t think she won’t, because she will have your best interest at heart, too.
::snicker::
To the OP.
Are you a professional writer? That was a brilliant piece of work. I wish I could write that well.
Oh, and sorry about your sister. Hopefully your niece turns out better than her Mom.
This crap makes me twitchy. My mother-in-law had to be severely beaten with the clue-by-four for several similar instances. One example - She decided all our pictures/artwork were hung too high and moved them all down. She’s 5’0". I’m 6’. I said “Hey thanks, now I can see the tops of the frames. That really makes the picture pop!”
:dubious:
Um say what now.
I have an oval pale yellow with large flower and leaf [gardenia?] in the middle that is so amazingly soft. It is textured? [the fibers are sort of cut so that the flower is in extremely low relief, more outlined than anything] that I hijacked from my parents house - it had spent probably 50 years gracing the kids bathroom at my grandparents main summer house. No way was I going to let anybody abuse that little oval rug. I had horriffic visions of some random female visitor my brother having over just tossing it into the washing machine because she thought it might need washing. I also hijacked 2 beach towels and a towel set I recognized from my childhood …
[URL=“http://boards.straightdope.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/”]
Sort of. I’m mostly a corporate sell-out these days on account of having a wife & kids to support, but when I was single I was a freelance writer, and I still moonlight as a ghostwriter.
QFT. My own beloved Mother/Controlling Nutjob won’t change, and I know this. Which means that there are rules for interacting with Mommy Dearest:
She is never to be left unattended in my home or yard. “Attended” means that at least one person over ten must accompany her - the big kids may not be able to stop her from rearranging, adding to, or getting rid of my shit, but they can at least call me to warn me, or make note of where stuff has been stowed, etc.
If she has temporary custody of any of my offspring, the kids are strongly encouraged to telephone if Grandma starts doing things that Mommy doesn’t do, and required to telephone me immediately if there is any hint that Grandma is arranging a haircut for one of her beloved grandbabies. I swear, the woman must have been frightened by a hippie when she was younger, because she’s prone to believe that everyone looks better with hair a fraction of an inch longer than that worn by Marines at boot camp. I spent most of my childhood being mistaken for a boy, my second daughter got the little boy haircut just before kindergarten, and while I was in the hospital giving birth to that second daughter, Grandma helped by babysitting Boy 2.0 and getting rid of those pesky (beautiful auburn) curls of his!
Ma has some weird compulsion to bring crap to my house all the time. Sometimes this is a useful thing, like when she finds a sale on cereal for $.50 and stocks up. Sometimes it’s not useful, but at least a net positive - she likes to stock up her own pantry and freezer, and then realizes that two old folks are never going to eat some ungodly quantity of pork chops or Jello, so she brings outdated/freezer burned food to me. I frequently toss these items, because I don’t trust her food handling habits any more, but at least I don’t worry about her and my dad getting food poisoning because she takes that risk. And sometimes she just brings random crap, which I dispose of - donate to the charity shop, take to the recycling, whatever - but at least she’s not hoarding up her own house, so I can donate and recycle and dump a bit at the time rather than wait until I have to clean out her house one day.
I save my discussions about meddling for those times when Ma does things that can’t be fixed or have real potential to cause problems: throwing my stuff away, giving the kids medicine or supplements that I haven’t approved, sharing my business with her entire social circle, that sort of thing.