What is the fabled Wang-Ka watermelon story? Can someone provide a link? I’m new on the SDMB, and have been reading these things at work, trying not to draw attention to myself laughing my ass off in my cubicle instead of working.
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Shodan
Though I know no story I could tell could possibly live up to Wang-Ka’s story, I will relate the best way I had heard (before today) of dealing with the D-to-D’s.
I wish I could have been there to see this.
My friend Alex was hanging out with his friend Chris one summer afternoon. They were both in their late teens. The door-bell sounded and they looked through the nearby window to see two men in suits. A light bulb lit over Alex’s head and he instructed Chris on what to do.
When he answered the door, Alex was shirtless, dripping with “sweat”, which was really just water, and panting. He caught his breath and invited the two men just inside the door as they started their pitch. He did not know if they were truely JW’s as he was somewhat distracted by what happened next. Chris, wearing only his boxers and dripping also with “sweat” crawled out of the nearby bedroom, visibly shaking. Alex smiled at the two men and politely asked them to excuse him. He then picked up an object, I think it was a cane, and started to hit the wall over the cowering Chris, yelling, “Get back in your cage!”
By the time he turned around, the men were gone and there was no sign of them on the street.
Funny, it is. We used to get those bastards (JW’s) at our house monthly (THE ONLY house on the block). After they built their KingDong Hall (Quite the optimistic lot they be) they stopped witnessing in our neighborhood.
Sidenote:
For the six or so months it too to build their temple they erected the sign first. Evident;y the local portaloo guys weren’t too happy about the bew neighbors as they consistently placed the portaloo right next to the sign. Driving down the street it looked like the sign was advertising their 30x30 one-holer.
I once had two Jehovah’s Witnesses show up at my place on a Friday afternoon. I was the only one around and I was packing for a short trip that weekend.
I invited them in and heard their little pitch then enthusiastically invited them to dinner the next night.
Right on time, two witnesses show up at my place ready for dinner.
My family didn’t like them any more than I did.
It was cruel but I couldn’t give up the opportunity.
Quote:
Twice a year, I have to deal with the magazine salesmen.
They work for some outfit that carts them all over south Texas in buses, and lets them out, en masse, to swarm all over the place trying to sell you magazine subscriptions.
Actually, these are scams. Not on you but the kids selling the subscriptions. These kids can never sell enough to get those points, and many of them have ended up broke and had to call their parents to get away from these crooks.
About twice a year one and sometimes two religous zealots make the rounds to get people to talk with them and take or sometimes purchae one of their publicationsl.
I suggest, “Sure I’ll read your publication if you will read mine and hand them a copy of the Bible or a booklet describing Simple New Testament Christianity.”
They get confused and decide that time is short and they have a lot of other doors to knock.
Second method: Before they can get started I pose a question which is cross grain to their doctrine or teaching and again they decide this is the wrong house.
A friends wife wanted a new sewing machine or some such. He called the dealer to send a salesman out with a specific new machine.
The salesman is greeted at the door and ushered into the living room where he proceeded to unpack the carton and started his spiel. My friend interrupted, "No. No. We don’t want a demonstration. We just want to buy it.
This routine was repeated for the third time before the poor salesman finally got the idea that he had a done deal before he started.
I had an old Deluxe Model Tank Vacuum cleaner that I had replaced the turbine in for the third time. It really sucked!
Salesman for same company knocks on door. Wants to demo. OK lets see what your machine can do. He hooks it all up and it proceeds to pick up a number of big steel ball bearings. “Say, that’s impressive. Let’s see what my old machine will do.” I drag it out of the closet, hook it up and it picks up two more balls than his new machine. He left looking thorouthly defeated.
Last week I was lying down, knock knock.
I go downstairs, theres this young girl, maybe 18.
She shows me this small laminated paper and wants to know if I will help her win a trip to Italy.
Asks if I’d like to go with her.
Mentions the name of my next door neighbor.
Then she shows me what look like magazines.
I tell her I have no money.
She says no money is needed.
Then she says theya re called Publications. Adults call them publications, children call them magazines.
:rolleyes: Thereby telling me I’m juvenile.
Then she tries to shake my hand, but I don’t open the door.
What the heck?
I assume she is invovled in one of those things they exposed on tv, where they force these kids to go around and if they don’t get enough orders, they don’t sleep or some such.
I am going to put up a sign.
Well, admittedly, I am way not fond of these people, but they never offered ME free magazines. Or publications.
WHY did you not film this???
It may help to consider that these hapless telephone and door to door salespersons are desparately trying to earn a measly income bravely withstanding constant rejection to find the very few people who may actually appreciate their efforts. It is sad that in general society just wants the poor to not be heard or seen.
My favorite d2d scene went like this:
I was in the Air Force, living in the dorm. One of my co-workers had become a real bible-thumper and had come across a box of New Testaments she was handing out door to door.
Now for a little scene-setting: It’s Halloween. I’d been downtown on a short mall-crawl, where I’d picked up a copy of the Satanic Bible and a dragon-head candle holder, among other things. I got back to my room, took a shower, put on my favorite bathrobe (ankle-length hooded black terrycloth with red terrycloth liner - very comfy), put on a Mannheim Steamroller tape, lit the candles in my candle holder (black candles, of course - it was Halloween, after all) and started reading the Satanic Bible. (Interesting read, BTW: about half & half nonsense and common sense.)
Knock on the door. Answer the door to find Donna the Bible-Thumping Ex-Whore. She hands me a New Testament and says, “Hi, Bill, I want you to read this.” I hand her my book and say, “OK, Donna, I want you to read this.” She takes the book, looks down at it, drops it, screams and runs away.
Big fun, everyone thought it was hilarious, but the next day she was trying to convince the 1st shirt that I’d tried to sacrifice her to Satan or some such bullshit.
My paternal grandparents lived in Minneapolis and were one day visited by a door-to-door salesman. They were so impressed by this man’s sales technique and ability that they bought one of his accordions for my father. I’ve got it sitting in my living room as a hand-me-down and I occassionally pull it out and play it only to think about the times when a door-to-door accordion salesman could actually make a living.
If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Telemarketing and door-to-door selling require you to be a nuisance, so the reaction is to be expected. Your last sentence is a non sequitur; no one (at least in this thread) has suggested that the poor not be heard or seen, just not in those activities.
You assume that they are poor? Could it not be that some of them are quite suucessful in bullying people in their own homes?
For religious zealots I find answering the door naked to be very effective. Particularly good if you have time to change into BDSM gear - or put your SO into it and lead out on a leash and nothing else