Things I have learned about strip clubs from the movies and TV

At the nicest local joint we go to, the girls are all average to exceptional in appearance and mannerisms. They wear skimpy bottoms and often no tops, along with extremely high-heeled shoes.

There are one or two who display incredible grace and/or athleticism on stage, and it is always amazing how soft their legs are.

Like a baby’s well-oiled bottom.

Otherwise, I tend to stand against a railing or at the downstairs bar to avoid personal dances.

Not that I mind them much, but they just want the money I’d rather spend on beer.

Michigan has a similar law. We have topless dancing, but no full-on nude dancing. I know of one place where the strippers take it all off, but they don’t serve alcohol there.

Due to peculiarities in Pennsylvania alcohol laws, many places get around the can’t-have-full-nudity thing by giving beer away. You pay a cover charge to get in, usually not as outrageously high as you might expect, and then drink all the beer you can stand at no additional charge. We are talking about stuff in the Coors Lite/Honey Brown/ Bud Light quality range, though.

Umm…you weren’t the only one, Anaamika.

slinks out of thread, wiser and wearier

Apparently some clubs have gotten around the “beer or beaver” laws. The bar will be at one physical address, the strippers next door, and only a glass wall will separate the two. Probably makes for lousy lap dances, though.

A friend of mine got married in NYC. Despite not planning on it in advance, we ended up at a strip club. The place was so disgusting that I soon was outside, enjoying the fresh air and then a tasty BLT from a deli nearby. A couple of my friends also couldn’t stand it and we were soon all eating late night snacks and talking about the club. Some of the nastiest women ever, most were obviously doped up junkies (with lots of visible track marks, on arms and legs).

A year or so later I saw the same club, in a movie or tv, with absolutely drop dead gorgeous women dancing while some detective tried to ferret information out of an informant.
Most of the clubs around here, and there are a lot, are kind of skanky although the women are a mix of “average, but looks good in dim light” to “wow”. Some are dumb, some are smart; some seem nice enough, others are rude or mercenary or both. Some are all nude, some are bikinis, some are topless, with or without “pasties”. Nude usually equals no alcohol, except, from what I hear, in the county immediately to the north of us. Some places you get on stage you risk a beating; others actively encourage women to go onstage and will allow men onstage and it often gets risque.

This is what I get for living in a touristy area.

My daughter asked about “The Kitten Club” the other day because she loves cats.

agreed. the strip club is one of those bastions of male expression in which bringing a girl means they like it. if they like it, that means there’s a chance that if you get them drunk enough, they’re on stage too. i don’t necessarily subscribe to this theory, but i’ve been to the titty bar a bunch of times with chicks…without fail, a guy in the table next to us always asks how much it’s gonna take/how much booze she needs to get on stage.
chicks hoot and holler more than the guys do, in my experience as well.

Texas law is the same. Ironically, that means that you can get into the bottomless clubs at 18 (where the topless clubs that serve alcohol require you to be 21).

The No-Alcohol clubs allow you to BYOB, however.

Strippers almost never spread their legs and do some full-on butt wiggling. They always arrange themselves so they’re to one side of you when they do it, so you see them in profile (and miss out on their naughty bits, or in the case of TV, the string part of their string thong).

Also, laps dances seem to involve little actual contact with a lap, it’s more a matter of standing near the guy and dancing for him alone. I’m not up on lap dancing, so to speak, so for all I know, this may be accurate. If so, the name is misleading, to say the least.

I’m starting to like MA more just because of this thread. Hail to the state where a buck will get you a face full of inner labia.

In Hawaii, they’re fully nude and alcohol is allowed. The ones closer to Waikiki look movie/porn star material; absolutely stunning. Further away or near the military bases, think FOB (fresh off the boat). Oddly enough, the cover charges are about the same.

Coolest time? Went to a bachelor party where we ended up at a strip club. Cousin knew the bouncer, so no cover. Another cousin knew the bartender, so free beer. On the way home, we went out for a bite. His aunt was the waiter, so free food.

With all this cash, we went back to the strip club!

I’m talking movies here … they’re certainly not like the Real Thing I guess … which would explain the Real Thing’s continued commercial success …

yes, please!

Absolutely, and I’m on board with you. But I think it’s interesting that there is not just a big disparity between movies and reality, but from state to state. I think I’ll stay put for now. Poon for a buck [republican mode]just makes good economic sense[/republican mode].

yes, that magical place is known as “windsor”…

…ahhh…cheetah’s…audible sigh

First off, I always thought that only topless dancing was allowed in the States. I’m guessing this was partly because of movies, and partly because of this one time that, as the dancer too off her thong, the drunk US Navy guy at the table next to ours loudly yelled out, “We get to see pussy here?!?!?” I had no idea about the beer-or-beaver thing.

As for movie and TV strippers, it seems that they’re either heart-of-gold drug-free volunteering-to-build-shelters-for-homeless-kitten types who just need to make some cash for school, or totally strung out junked up hos. I mean, I prefer places like the Paramount, so I’m not often hanging out in the crach shack places, but in general, the girls are nice, clean, and usually high on E or coke. I think most strippers fall between the extremes above - most drink or do drugs, very few are super-fresh faced clean OR nasty dirty.

And as a hint to men: I can’t speak for all women, but the majority do not want to be picked up in a strip club. Even if you’re cute or charming. Also, implying that you think they are/could be one of the dancers is not nearly as complimentary as you think. Thanks.

Went to a bachelor party one time at a strip club around the Poughkeepsie, NY area. Girls were naked, beer was served. We proceeded to alienate ourselves by sitting by the end of the runway, folding up dollar bills like little paper footballs, and shooting field goals between the open ‘V’ legs of the young lass “dancing” for us. Hilarity ensued.

Don’t feel bad. I only went once, but assumed that the dancers would be stripping, i.e., removing their clothes as they danced, probably drawing things out for 5-10 minutes before they went all nude.

Nope. The clothes – G-string and top – were gone in about 30 seconds (for the slower ones).

Kind of a pity that sis/cuz/neighbor wasn’t working at the club, the whole evening might have been free. And what does “fresh off the boat” imply? I’d seem to think it would be a good thing, but are you implying a connection with fish versus innocent?

I know the week is new, but this is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve read all week.