Things I learned from watching TV cop shows

And pick out his completely unique tattoo so the detective can say “I know that tattoo”

It’s possible to drill a guy with an automatic weapon with absolutely no gore. The wall behind him may be pocked with bullet holes, but not a drop of blood will be seen. Chances are you won’t even see the bullets impacting on the victim either.

That’s the way it used to be in cop shows. Now you’ll see everything… stuff you never wanted to see and pictures you will never get out of your head. Anything goes-- blood, of course, but gore, torture, cigarette burns on people (even kids), internal organs spread all over the floor, severed limbs (including genitals, although we don’t actually see those-- yet), even severed heads. Almost no limits.

That’s actually something they took from real life.

In The Rookie, they explained that the car was where they worked, so they called it their “shop”. But that’s not the real explanation.

In the LAPD, each police car has a unique number painted on its door, which is used to identify each car for maintenance purposes. In other words, it’s the car’s “shop number”. Over the years that got abbreviated to just “shop”.

I don’t know what they are called in other cities.

A car.

Anyone who goes out in the early morning to walk their dog or bird watch will surely come across a dead body. Usually all covered picturesquely with dew drops. Sometimes the dog finds the body. The birdwatcher will drop their binoculars.

That was the snarky answer and mostly true. The NYPD was the first police force to have a fleet of cars equipped with radios. That was just about 100 years ago. They used the term Radio Motor Patrol for those cars and the term RMP is still used today. LAPD and NYPD love their jargon. Makes them feel special. Most departments just use plain English.

If there is a private high school/academy full of rich kids in your precinct you might as well park your detective car out front because the rape and murder rate there is 1,000 times higher than the worst neighborhood in the city. The suspect is probably going to be the kid with the high powered lawyer for a father.

To hide that they’re a murderer, a lot of people will just keep on murdering and murdering.

Or two guys having a completely inane and non-specific conversation stumble upon the body.

“So you see the score of the game last night? Yeah it was a pretty high score. I thought our quarterback was doing well and OH MY GOD!!!”

Someone has always moved the body.

When I started running before dawn on weekends, I naturally assumed I’d find two or three dead bodies a month, and have to wait around to be interviewed by the cops. Of course, when they showed up, my skin would be dry, my socks would be clean, and all the sweat stains would have magically disappeared from my shirt and shorts.

They also always have a friend over at the FBI/CIA/NSA who owes them a favor which can be cashed in at any time. Need a satellite re-tasked for some very specific coverage? Let me make one call, it’ll get done! Need some door kickers to go get someone from the hinterlands of Afghanistan? No problem, this guy I used to work with is up in that area right now! Need some impossible to breach firewall taken down yesterday? Let me ask my contact who can cut through it like butter! The person who owes the favor is sitting by the phone waiting.

We really need a like button on this board.

That’s crazy talk.

Can someone please explain this one?

The person they’re looking for has been killed, and his body not discovered for several days. Lennie is telling the guy to light a cigar to cover the smell of the body.

Ah right, thanks!

I’ve watched the first couple of episodes of The Night Agent on Netflix and (no spoiler as it happens in the first few minutes) I can guarantee, as the villain is shown to have an elaborate tattoo whilst fighting the protagonist, this becomes important later in the series.

The most important, expository conversations always happen while walking down a hallway.

I think we can thank Aaron Sorkin for that. :face_with_monocle:



When the cops are following someone and they’re ready to pounce, they always call out, “Police! Stop!” when they’re still at least a block away from the quarry. And the person always runs, even when it would be impossible to get away. :woman_facepalming:t4: Why don’t the police wait until they’re ten feet away, and one of them has circled around to block the crook when they run (which they certainly will).

I regularly say “If NWA knew some of the people I do, the song would have been called Fuck the Fire Department”