-“Human Shield”: No bullet, no matter how large or small, will pass through a body into another.
(Total Recall)
-Or anything that is rediculously recognized as “bullet proof”: Wood tables, knocked-over chairs, modern walls, car doors, cars themselves (surprise! They’re NOT!), clothing dummies…
Speaking of bullets:
-WOUNDS:
No wonder there is so much gunplay in America. Everybody seems to be under the assumption that if
- you shoot someone with a gun, they’ll still be able to walk around/breathe. “Hydrostatic shock” does not occur.
- you shoot someone with a .22 calibre shell, nobody will die. In fact, they might just be alright after a quick bandage job using an old shirt. You need at LEAST a 9mm…and about three of those.
-Car smashes through glass…and no flat tires/dents/broken windshields
(The Rock)
-“Double-round binoculars”
…uh, no. When a person looks through binoculars, they see one circle.
-No matter what the employment, the protagonist’s home is always a large, well-furnished place with a great view.
(Heat)
-He/She can afford to have a relatively expensive car (either brand new or, if older, in concours condition)
AND
…never run out of gas,
…never have motor trouble,
But, HEY EVERYbody’s rich and good looking in the real world, didn’t you KNOW that?
-That’s right up there with “Technology ALWAYS works”
(Computer’s never crash or seize, phones don’t cut out, printers (run out of paper, but) never out of ink…)
-People can always outrun an explosion or rushing water.
(Most “Adventure” movies)
Speaking of water:
-It’s night. You’re underwater. But you can still see things FIVE FEET AWAY CLEARLY underwater.
(Lethal Weapon 4, What Lies Beneath)
-Grocery bags are light; Because eggs, meat, packaged goods and all liquids have the same mass as styrofoam.
-Car chase scenes: People will always be able to jump out of the way… no matter how fast you’re going.
Traffic? What traffic? When there is traffic, there will always be room to maneuver around the cars that are there… drivers in a chase will never get “blocked in”.
(Ronin, Taxi)
Danimal:“What does bother me is that we don’t see any older-but-still-beautiful women hook up with younger guys. Let Fanny Ardant and Isabella Rosellini in on some of the action!”
…never saw “White Palace” or “Bull Durham”, huh? There ARE other episodes of this happening. Not so much the norm, but they are out there.
-The amount of damage that a person fighting bad guys is easily explained, ignored, or negated by the fact that he actually GETS/KILLS the bad guy. Insurance companies and bureaucratic law enforcement agencies do NOT demand the paperwork or monetary compensation that needs to be filled out in these instances:
“You just created $5 million dollars worth of private and property damage… and don’t ask me how I came to that figure seeing as insurance companies don’t get their heads together that quickly…”
“…but I killed the bad guy.”
“OH! So you even have no arrest to show for it. Great. Wonderful. What was he at fault for again?”
“Second-degree murder.”
“So, essentially, your actions, which were directly or indirectly resposible for the injuries of 15 people and the deaths of 2 other people during that car chase twelve minutes ago through the mall will be ignored because you managed to kill the guy who ran over a kid…”
“Yeah, that was my thinking.”
…“Okay. Sure, I’ll take care of all the paperwork, too, because as a Captain, I’m not overworked with other responsibilities of the precinct.”
Which allows me to finish off with:
-He’s the “best cop on the beat”, but he’s also the Captain’s nemesis until the very end.
