Things kids find or figure out, despite your best efforts to hide them

Inspired by this thread.

For the past ten years, I have worked with animals. First at a Humane Society, then in research. When my nephew asked about what I did, I told him about taking care of the critters. I never mentioned the more gruesome aspects of my career: euthanasia, disposing of bodies, etc.

One day, when Nephew was 5 or 6, he had a little fight with a friend. Nephew looked at his playmate and said, “You better be good! My Aunt Mouse is here and she kills things.”

:eek: I was flabbergasted!

Have any kids in your life surprised you with “forbidden” knowledge?

That’s terrible and funny at the same time. I don’t have a child old enough to dig up dirt on me yet, but I’m dreading a time about 3 years from now when he is.

I know when I was a kid, I overheard a phone conversation my mother was having with my grandfather. It was about my father, who I had never met. She just found out that he died rather gruesomely, being hit by a train. My mom didn’t know that I knew until I sort of blurted it out in a conversation with someone else a few days later.

My mom thought I was upset about it, so she tried to talk to me and make me feel better. Really I was just squirming because I thought I was in trouble for listening to her conversation, and I didn’t care that some guy I didn’t know had been killed.

Where we keep the box of sex toys.

I’ve got a friend, we’ll call him John, who I find utterly attractive. He’s funny (in the same dry sarcastic way I am) and smart and cute and strong and manly and just generally makes my heart (and other bits) quiver. Unfortunately, he’s involved in a monogamous relationship AND his ex-wife and I are good friends, so he’s absolutely off limits for me (not to mention he’s not interested in me, as far as I know.)

I thought I’d been pretty discrete about my crush on John - as in, not telling anybody, ever - until my 14 year old said, very nonchalantly, “You know, you and John are so much alike. You have the same sense of humor and everything. It wouldn’t surprise me if you two wandered off into the woods together some night while we’re camping.”




Ack! My kid called me on my super-secret unrequited crush! Ouch.

The downside of allowing the older child to watch Monty Python at the Hollywood Bowl:
The eight-year old girl asking one day, “Mom, what’s a blow job?”

After I finished laughing, I took the boy downstairs so the ladies could talk. We were playing video games when we heard from upstairs: EWWWWWWW!!!

Makes me laugh to this very day.