Then why do they need feminine hygiene? 
Occasionally you’ll see a young musical prodigy. Only on piano or a stringed instrument, though.
Also: getting the shit beaten out of you doesn’t hurt. When your girl cleans or dresses a wound, or applies a tiny bit of anti-septic, that hurts like crazy.
Because all the good-looking guys are gay! 
I had to think a while about a nitpick nobody else already covered…then it came to me! Somebody’s having a conversation on the phone. The other person gets mad and hangs up. You hear the click and the dial tone.
There’s no dial tone when somebody hangs up IRL. You get the obnoxiously loud BEEPBEEPBEEP if YOU don’t hang up after a minute, but otherwise there’s just silence.
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No one ever locks their car. They just shut the door and leave, no matter how ratty the neighborhood.
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Whenever a character jumps or falls through a window, the only injuries are those associated with the fall itself. In real life, you’d probably see major arteries gushing blood from glass having sliced through them.
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And, hey, if you ever discover me on the floor lying in a crumpled heap, give me CPR, will ya? Just don’t assume that I’m dead, what the hell.
Oh, and a another computer-related nit pick:
Someone opens a computer application they’ve never seen before (such as a database they’ve hacked into), and next thing you know, the fingers are flying and the keys are clicking ninety miles and hour. Voila, they have their answer in about 5 seconds.
In real life, it usually takes about 5 minutes of clicking around just to figure how the damn thing works.
I stand corrected…I actually knew that, too, darn 
It still didn’t sound too German, anyway. This has been a pet peeve of mine since Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where they had exactly one authentic sounding guy.
If it’s just a couple of extras yelling “Zu die Gewähre!!!” (it really should be “An die Gewehre!!”) it’s OK with me. But if you have a main character who constantly uses German phrases (which he did do in the comics, I second X~Slayer(ALE) here) it’s kind of distracting to me if it doesn’t sound right.
I also can’t stand German actors pretending to have an American accent, it’s just ridiculous.
The Conner family, on Roseanne, always wore middle-class to lower-class clothing, especially in the very early seasons (Roseanne herself must have worn that purple coat for five years straight). It’s the last seasons, after they won the lottery and became rich, that they wore designer clothes.
Re: complaints about emaculate houses. One house that always seems believeable is the one on Everybody Loves Raymond. It’s a cluttered house and Marie often complains that it’s dirty. Not only is the living room cluttered (and the kids’ bedrooms messy) but the kitchen is tiny. It’s a nice change of pace from the Huxtable house.
– In TV shows and movies that hinge upon a misunderstanding, nobody actually says the simple magic words that will clear it up.
– Establishing that a character is unable to do something, having someone teach the character a few aspects of it and from then on said character is a genius at it. This was in A Life Less Ordinary–Celine can’t drive, Robert points to the gas and brake, and after a few scenes of her driving horribly she’s just fine for the rest of the movie.
– Movies/shows/books, even, where characters have kids but the kids are pretty much ignored for the entire span of time, except for cute little lines and token nods to them. Friends and Everybody Loves Raymond does this a lot. Kids don’t have to be the be-all and end-all of the film/show/book, but really, they should have a bit more screentime than that.
– And finally, schools are never ever ever realistic. I’ve never seen a school portrayed realistically on TV. High school seems to last from 12:00 (for the lunchtime events) to 3:00 (for the requisite ‘school’s out, yay’ scene of kids tumbling out the front doors of the school building) with kids who do tons of stuff before their school day starts and have just as much to do after it. Also, they never have homework, unless it’s a plot point or a setup for a joke.
Maybe that is middle class for people who live in Manhattan?
Heheh, NOOO, it surely is not.
Car chases tearing through masses of pedestrians (the ones also running through the mandatory food stand), and everyone manages to jump/run clear.
If I were strolling through a picturesque old town/a market/sitting at a pavement cafe and a car chase came through, my reaction would be:
“What the-” - [sound of being crushed].
People who are using a computer, whether writing an e-mail or hacking into the CIA, can do so by pressing a bunch of keys quickly and at random, evidently never making typos or having to pause to remember a code.
It’s impossible for a car NOT to explode when it’s in a crash. (The Simpsons makes fun of this all the time; one time Homer overturned a baby carriage and it exploded.)
People have favorite relatives or consuming passions that strangely they never mentioned in any episode before said relative shows up or said passion takes centerpage. (Example of the latter: George Jefferson is portrayed as a one step over illiterate in most episodes, then suddenly we learn that he’s a passionate reader of mystery novels- odd that they never mentioned that in the first decade of the show.)
People always lie to their parents and then have to get their friends to go along with the lie when they show up (e.g. the janitor has told his mother he owns the company, or the secretary has told her favorite aunt that she’s the boss).
Just as evidently anytime a 70+ person makes a crack about sex it’s funny, anytime a black person shakes his/her head and says “White people!” it’s funny. And all black people are hip and have sly dry wits, btw.
Drug addiction, death of a best friend (who’s never been on the show before- see above), cancer scares, bankruptcy, etc.: none of them take more than 30 minutes to get over and need never be referred to again.
People who are using a computer, whether writing an e-mail or hacking into the CIA, can do so by pressing a bunch of keys quickly and at random, evidently never making typos or having to pause to remember a code.
It’s impossible for a car NOT to explode when it’s in a crash. (The Simpsons makes fun of this all the time; one time Homer overturned a baby carriage and it exploded.)
People have favorite relatives or consuming passions that strangely they never mentioned in any episode before said relative shows up or said passion takes centerpage. (Example of the latter: George Jefferson is portrayed as a one step over illiterate in most episodes, then suddenly we learn that he’s a passionate reader of mystery novels- odd that they never mentioned that in the first decade of the show.)
People always lie to their parents and then have to get their friends to go along with the lie when they show up (e.g. the janitor has told his mother he owns the company, or the secretary has told her favorite aunt that she’s the boss).
Just as evidently anytime a 70+ person makes a crack about sex it’s funny, anytime a black person shakes his/her head and says “White people!” it’s funny. And all black people are hip and have sly dry wits, btw.
Drug addiction, death of a best friend (who’s never been on the show before- see above), cancer scares, bankruptcy, etc.: none of them take more than 30 minutes to get over and need never be referred to again.
I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve seen a scene where someone is sleeping, then the alarm clock goes off, and then the person is so upset at the alarm that they throw it against the room to make it stop.
Do people ever really do that?
Do they really want the extra errand of going out and buying a new alarm clock?
Women apparently wear perfect, unsmudged makeup and hair products even under the unlikeliest circumstances. Outer space. Underwater. On day 5 of being lost in the desert. In the 1800s (or BC, for that matter). It drives me crazy.
Someone already mentioned this one, but the Magic Photoshop-type application that can sharpen photographs to crystal perfection. CSI is the most blatant and consistent offender here, but it’s been done in so very many movies and TV shows.
And the one I’ve harped on before and will harp on again, the obligatory Strip Club Scene ™. Words can’t convey how sick I am of this cliche. It’s in every R-rated movie no matter what, no matter how inappropriate/unlikely that would be in real life.
Another one from the sitcoms: Noone locks their doors. Steve Urkel would not be able to come in and blow up the toaster if they locked the frickin door, like everyone else does.
Ah. My memory of that show is rather hazy. It’s a defensive mechanism
Also, I seem to remember Peg Bundy (from Married with Children) wearing outfits that were quite chic-looking. I’d love to know how the wife of a shoe store employee could afford those kinds of clothes.
I’ll further the point about foreign languages in films. I often wonder who on Earth they hire to write the German/Italian/French phrases they use, and why they can’t just hire me instead! Some of the mistakes they make are so basic they would probably be picked up by Babelfish.
Those 50 will attack one at a time, patiently waiting for their comrades to hit the ground before attacking.
Everything is used. If it is noted then it will used again. If there is a sermon in a church scene about forgiveness, someone will need to forgive someone else. If someone is seen taking advil then then will diognosed with a tumor later. If the protagonist inherits a coat of armor from his English second cousin Neville then a dragon will attack and he will have to save the town.
For the record, tires can squeal on dirt, i 've done it and would never believe it otherwise…
I dislike the way people die suddenly from some wound be it gunshot or being knifed. Generally speaking, that isn’t the case. All the goodbyes and final whispering of events sucks as well. It’s been overdone.
I hate the way punkrockers, skinheads and other such groups are depicted as idiots, racists and trouble makers. Thats certainly not always the case.
Charcater fights on soap operas are so dumb. The slaps and weak punches, it seems to me the stunts could be a wee bit better. It’s funny how many of the black actors on soaps are scripted to act ghetto but still act more white than I.
The small misunderstandings that tear people apart, only to be reconciled right before the end with some sad ass apology and moral…
Car chases suck, foot chases suck, just stop with all the ricocheting bullets and exploding crap, its old…
one man killing machines, shot at by automatic gunfire never getting hit. When they do get hit it never tears chuncks of fleash away as in real life, it only grazes or whatnot...
I don’t know…The whole idea that blacks are cool and whites are uptight and lame gets on my nerves…
Incorporating hip hop into everything sucks. Stop raping the music, its turning to glam and we all know what happened to that…