Oh, and restaurants. In sitcoms, there is exactly one diner/cafe/coffee shop in town, and everyone goes there all the time. No one seems to order anything to eat, though. And they never pay for the coffee they drink. It’s always the same waitress.
If a romantic dinner out is called for by the script, a pseudo-French restaurant will quickly be added. There are 6 tables in the entire place, and never more than 3 other couples, even though it’s the hottest/trendiest new place in town. The waiter is insufferably rude.
There’s two things that haven’t been mentioned yet that bug me no end and I usually end up yelling at the TV (or silently cursing at the movie screen):
The “Ugly Girl” who just has to take off her glasses and open her hair to reveal a ravishing beauty. Duh. As if we couldn’t see that before.
The “Later” factor: When asked for an explanation, the character will always say: “We don’t have time for this now. I’ll tell you later.” This will inevitably lead to problems and distress. Saying: “XY is the bad guy and the hostages are in the abandoned factory” would have taken the exact same amount of time.
Oh, and what is it with foreign people always speaking English amongst themselves? I’d imagine they’d use their own language.
Ties in neatly with supposedly foreign characters having a heavy American accent in their “mother tongue”. Can’t vouch for other languages, it just grated me in X2 with Kurt Wagner who - as mentioned previously - kept uttering German phrases while sounding everything but not German.
During a car chase, the lead car will go flying through an intersection and a car on each side will, in tandem, swerve to avoid the lead car and then they will come to a stop.
Also, during a car chase on the freeway, the lead car won’t be blocked in because all of the cars that could be in its way are spaced out evenly to allow the chase.
This one is too easy: squealing/smoking tires on dirt, grass, gravel, whatever.
The villian has the good guy right were he wants him and all he has to do is shoot him. But no! Now the villian must divulge his evil, sinister plan in its entirety. The villian might as well just address the camera directly. It’s so lame.
Right after the main conflict has concluded, you will hear sirens in the background and then finally the police show up. Even if the fight involves machine guns and takes two hours, the sirens can’t start until the last bullet is fired.
No after sex “clean up”. Where’s the “Holy shit that was amazing. Pass the toilet paper”?
Characters will order food in a restaurant and it will show up one minute later.
Stand up and say your lines. Pause for a few seconds. Wait for the laughter to start. Say another dumb line.
Just about everything on TV.
The things they think are funny.
A Diva’s Christmas Carol: it’s New York City on Christmas at 6 a.m.–AND IT’S BRIGHT LIGHT OUTSIDE!
=The Simpsons!!!
“Friends.” Women who act like babies themselves chat around, walk around, and haul around a baby like it’s a doll! It’s clear the actors are holding dolls. Babies are props and not the point of the film.
“Friends” is just like all else on TV.
The hospital scene is not the way to give birth. Neither hospitals nor birth are funny.
Stand up and say your lines. Pause for a few seconds. Wait for the laughter to start. Say another dumb line.
Just about everything on TV.
The things they think are funny.
A Diva’s Christmas Carol: it’s New York City on Christmas at 6 a.m.–AND IT’S BRIGHT LIGHT OUTSIDE!
=The Simpsons!!!
“Friends.” Women who act like babies themselves chat around, walk around, and haul around a baby like it’s a doll! It’s clear the actors are holding dolls. Babies are props and not the point of the film.
“Friends” is just like all else on TV.
The hospital scene is not the way to give birth. Neither hospitals nor birth are funny. Neither are as quick as the scene shows it.
Stand up and say your lines. Pause for a few seconds. Wait for the laughter to start. Say another dumb line.
Just about everything on TV.
The things they think are funny.
A Diva’s Christmas Carol: it’s New York City on Christmas at 6 a.m.–AND IT’S BRIGHT LIGHT OUTSIDE!
=The Simpsons!!!
“Friends.” Women who act like babies themselves chat around, walk around, and haul around a baby like it’s a doll! It’s clear the actors are holding dolls. Babies are props and not the point of the film.
“Friends” is just like all else on TV.
The hospital scene is not the way to give birth. Neither hospitals nor birth are funny. Birth is not quick as the scene shows it.
Sparrow can rest assured. Americans do not just walk into other people’s houses without knocking. If someone threw open the door to my apartment without knocking or hitting the buzzer or anything, I’d go running into the kitchen to grab a knife :eek:
And have you ever noticed how when TV people talk on the phone, they never say goodbye at the end of the conversation. They just hang up.
Oh I don’t know…when my wife was in labor with our first child, my dad said (when her contractions were still about 5 minutes apart) “Why doesn’t she just start pushing now?”
My wife grabbed my arm in a bone-crushing grip, pulled my ear down to her mouth and whispered in a voice of hydrochloric acid “Get him the hell out of here.”
In retrospect, the whole situation was pretty funny…
And every, yes, I said every home, where they go to the frig will have just one quart of milk that is almost empty the character will drink straight from it.
This includes homes with gazillions of kids. Kids don’t drink milk anymore? When I was growing up, we had no less than four gallons of milk in the frig all the time (in gallon containers, too!), and that was for us three kids. Our parents specifically bought a frig to hold that much milk.
And when they do pour milk into a glass, the glass is always perfect. No colored glasses, no plastic glasses, no cups or mugs, but a clear glass glass that hold 12 oz of milk.
Finally, when they bring home the groceries, it’s always two paper bags full and no more. A single person - two bags. A couple - two bags. A family with seven kids, a dog, a cat, and a gold fish - two bags. Yet the kitchen cupboards are always full and glimpses into the frig show it overflowing with food and full meal leftovers. When does a family with growing kids have a complete meal as leftovers?
Not really, my computer balked. I get “there was a communication problem,” and then “the moderator has ruled that you may place only one post every 60 seconds” (i forget the exact wording) You mean it posted both times?
Stonebow, go ahead and talk about SOAP OPERAS.
::Woman in bed wears a top, man is bare.:: He’s always the super-perfect triangular broad-chested wasp-waisted hunk and she’s narrow and looks dainty in a top. Women don’t go to bed nude even with their husband. He props himself on his elbow and she lies on one side so the camera can see them both.
::Nothing happens, people only talk about it.:: Characters tell the audience what is going on.
Stonebow, do you pronounce it /stone bo/ or /stone bow/ ?
I hate most of these too, but … I have two rebuttals! LOL. The first is the assertion that cartoon characters never change clothes. One program my children like is Nickelodeon’s “As Told By Ginger,” which is about elementary and middle school kids. They often wear the same clothes, but frequently they appear in alternative outfits! It’s true!
The second is the assertion about fake computers. Again, from a kids’ show, “The Brothers Garcia,” also on Nickelodeon. (It airs Sunday nights, which is why it’s fresh in my mind.) Last night, the two older brothers were searching the internet for information on famous Garcias, and I was pleased to see that the browser window they had open looks actually authentic. The web site there were on was something like Geneology.com (believable, in other words). I only noticed because I was expecting to see something fakey looking. (It’s a pretty cute show. John Leguizamo does the narration.)
You obviously overlooked the implication provided by previous post. I was merely alluding to the fact that different demographics are not identical in either the manner they live or the materials they possess. Furthermore, I can guarantee you that there are far more individuals who lack Caller ID than those who have with it.
there is this korean tv series called glass shoes that most of u who posted replies here about what annoyed you about standard tv things would enjoy. its so real i cried even though i don’t understand korean. so real you get the gist of the whole story. its nothing like the old american soap operas with perfect looking people waking up after a long sleep.
Actually, there aren’t any screens in Vancouver… which totally freaked me out when I moved here. But it ain’t that bad, because there aren’t any mosquitoes either.
there is this korean tv series called glass shoes that most of u who posted replies here about what annoyed you about standard tv things would enjoy. its so real i cried even though i don’t understand korean. so real you get the gist of the whole story. its nothing like the old american soap operas with perfect looking people waking up after a long sleep. the girl in the story, who gets abused by her foster family actually looks abused and sad…with the eye bags and dark circles around her eyes…even the children in the tv series are serious actors
the star has amazing regenerative properties. He got friggin shot in the arm for god’s sake! He doesn’t even grimace 1/2 hour later when he has to open the car door.
In the movies, Mel gibson is better fit than a decathlete despite all the drinking and cigarettes.
They’ve all got the conditioning of a top athlete, can sprint for like 45 minutes, can fight for like 10 minutes (taking several blows to the head) then go sprint to get the main boss.
In the movies, karate works as a fighting style,
people can actually land the spinning back crescent kick, right to the head, and the other karate “expert” never has the good sense to crowd the kick.
These are movies and TV. Its not a voyeurs eye view of the real world. Things have to done in order for you to enjoy a scene or plotline. If the movie “Pitch Black” was authentic and technically accurate in lighting, three quartes of that movie will be all black with just dialogue. Anyone wanna go “see” that movie? Lighten up on the lighting. Its not meant to be real, its meant for you to see what the heck is going on in the movie.
In the comic books, Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) had very poor english skills in the beginning. He had no real intention of coming to america and Prof X just persuaded him to. Kurt occasionally uses little phrases on and off late into the series even tho he technically got enhanced english proficiency thru Jean Grey’s Pheonix powers.
Techinical Movie flaws that Bug me:
**Computers blow up or visibly spark when infected by a virus. Some even smok afterwards. That mustve been one doozy of a virus.
**Hot babes married to homely fat guys with no money. How come we never see a muscular hunk of a guy showing love and affection to someone who lookes like Ellen Degeneres.
**All Asian guys either know martial arts or l33t skills in computers. Hardly anyone ever plays a young homely asian chick but if they do, they always wear glasses.
**9 millimeter guns that will break the cable that holds an elevator car. Someone seriously messed up the matrix coding in that scene. Those dinky little bullets wont go thru steel plate less than a quarter inch think, much less a bulldozer scoop (no matter how much teflon you put on them), a chain that holds a wrecking ball, or the transmission case of a UPS truck.
**this deserves repeating. No matter how highly trained ninja for hire warriors are, the hero will go thru 50 of the best ones without breaking a sweat before even getting to boss’s underling. The underling will pose enuf difficulty to necessitate the hero to remove his shirt, afterwhich he beats the tar out of the underling. (it mustve been a really heavy shirt) The hero will then fight the boss who “surprisingly” has more martial arts skills than the hero. The hero will be wounded, knocked down and be breathing heavily but his last heroic effort defeats the boss bad guy, [this is the part that really bugs me] THEN all of the hero’s wounds dont hurt anymore, his broken knee (or arm or ribs) now work alright for the big hug with the sexpot, he doesnt bleed anymore and he never gets scars in his face or front. (some scars are shown in the back area)
**Use the product being advertised and the women would grab you and be all over you no matter what the heck you look like. However I would like to say some kudos to the recent Coke commercial I saw where the female fans were ogling the NASCAR drivers. A refreshing change. Had nothing to do with the product but the commercial was funny.
**Feminine hygene commercials bug me. None of those women are real.
