There are times I wouldn’t just sleep. I would twist and toss at bed, fighting off a nameless fear which I couldn’t just put word to it.
I am wondering, how do I know that I really exists?
And…that this world is not a by-product of my feverish imagination?
And…that this world actually ‘exists’ and is not some form of a demented Truman’s Show?
And…What will happen after I die…?
And there I will spend time trying to recall what it is like before I was born and why it is nothing but a pitch darkness…
Nope, those thoughts didn’t come to me after I watched the Matrix. I have it since four years old, after a nightmare of sort.
I was with my sister and a friend, playing with wooden building blocks. And what were we building? Tombstones, graves – a cemetery! Then I ask aloud a question, in my dreams, “What would happen to the world if everyone dies?” My four year old mind has no concept of reproduction, but certainly does know about death and dying.
Ever since that dream I has always have those questions?
Anyone else out there feel the same too? Have the same questions? I am not looking for answers, but merely just how do you fend off those unanswerable questions so that at least I could sleep in peace.
I think that if one is so busy, they tend to get so exhausted by the time they sleep, that nothing like this keeps them awake. At least that’s my experience.
OK, here are some answers for you to help you get some sleep.
I think therefore I am. I think I might be a yam.
If so then I would be able to change the color of the sky to hot pink just by thinking about it. Dosen’t happen so can’t be my imagination.
Cool! I’m famous, and on TV. Wave at the camera, and laugh to yourself thinking of everyone bored out of their skulls watching you lie in a dark room all night not doing anything.
Well only the good die young, therefore I am imortal. So no worries.
Hope you can get some more sleep now.
I yam what I yam, and that’s all what I yam?
Reminds me of when I was younger–when I was a kid, I never had one of those cliched “pet dies, sobbing as I realize the inevitability of death” moments you always see in sitcoms. Instead, I had one night when it occurred to me all of my books would inevitably crumble and fall apart. That kept me up all night. Okay, I was a nerd. I still sniffle when I think about it.
There’s this damn delivery truck that comes every morning outside my dorm window at 6 in the morning… That wakes me up. EVERY MORNING.
That and quantum physics.
I lie awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
That’s right. I’m an insomniac agnostic dyslexic!
::ducks and runs away::