Things that most business owners know to be true that just...aren't

what is the deal with the cart dispenser-person at Walmarts? It’s awkward, quite frankly. I can pull out my own damn cart from that hole in the wall. I’m sure some people can’t, but do hey really need a cart dispensing station?

Is it supposed to feel like valet service or something?

Except that the volume control is usually somewhere right back there in the kitchen, easily accessible to the kitchen workers. So after the boss is gone or back in their office, it’s easy to slip over and gradually up the volume.

Absolutely. If the music’s too loud, I take my business elsewhere.

And what else can they say anyway…“Oh no, sir, that’s a terrible choice”?

Nothing. Or “Next, please.” There is no obligation for them to comment on my order at all.

In my experience, management often suffer from a sort of tunnel vision stemming from an emotional attachment to profit-maximizing theory that is far removed from the practical reality that exists on the customer front-line.

Manager: “You must inform every diner of our dinner features right away, and make sure you romance the delicate preparation and unique, fresh ingredients. You must sell the difference.”

But some customers just want coffee

or eat the same meal every time

or heard your speech when you were speaking to the next table

or are waiting for others to arrive

or are allergic to fish

or are in deep conversation amongst themselves

or have an innate distrust of dinner features

or plan to snack on a collection of appys

or whatever

Ow, that. Makes me feel like an evil slave driver. So then I have to console the call center worker and still get a supervisor on the line.

What also bugs me is the " thank you for holding" message, everytime they’ve been away from the phone for a spilt second to check something on their computer screen. It gets annoying the fifth time in a call.
Excellent post, Marxxx.

Ya know, soft lights at a restaurant are fine, but when they are so dim that it’s virtually impossible to read the menu, and some of the waiters actually carry around small flashlights to help the customers, that’s just taking it too far, Ruth Chris!

Actually, I kind of like knowing who I’m talking to. I make a note of it. This way, if they fuck it up, I know who to blame when I call to complain. ANd I would guess that this is part of idea behind it…if a worker has to give his/her name, maybe they’ll try a bit harder.

Sometimes I’ll buy something that’s being promoted, sometimes not. I do tend to get into ruts, and I might not have noticed the new offering. However, I only want to get ONE promotion per visit. If I say “no thanks” to the Newest Hot Thing once, that is NOT a signal that I might be persuaded to buy it if I’m nagged enough. Oh, and I really, REALLY don’t want to follow a company on Facebook, and I especially don’t want to give a store my phone number or email address.

When I’m in a restaurant, I want to be able to read the menu, see my companions (or read my book), and hear my companions. I DON’T want to leave the restaurant with a pounding headache caused by too much noise, either from the music or from the other customers. I enjoy background music, for the most part. I really don’t care for TVs in restaurants at all. Retail stores used to blast music at high volume, thankfully this trend seems to have passed. Or maybe I just don’t go into those types of stores any more.

The concept that any publicity is good publicity.

Let’s say, for example, that you run a restaurant. One of your customers finds a dead mouse in her meal. Local news media feature your restaurant as their lead story.

You got a lot of publicity and everyone’s talking about your business. But how many customers do you think you’re going to be serving?

This makes a lot of sense. That’s why I play it like all merchants and salesmen are the enemy, and we have an uneasy truce for the amount of time it takes us to negotiate a transaction.

Whoever decided that people want to speak to machines needs to be punched, hard. I’m talking about the recordings you get when you call for customer service, where the system apparently has some kind of extremely primitive speech recognition technology.

“So… how can I assist you today?” complete with strategic pauses so it sounds oh-so-realistically like conversational speech. “I’m sorry… I… didn’t quite understand you. Would you mind… repeating your response?” Yes, I would, because it’s creepy talking to a machine. I realize you can’t get a person every time, but I’d much much much rather make a selection with my telephone keypad than have to talk to a… thing.

Speech recognition can be pretty bad. I don’t know if Amtrak has improved Julie or not, but it was always a crapshoot whether or not I’d manage to get it to understand any station before I had to hang up, as I didn’t want to talk to a real person, I just wanted the data on when the train was supposed to arrive. Even worse is trying to check on flight schedules while in an airport. I got caught up when American had to shut down all their MD-80s back in April 2008 and was constantly trying to get updates on my flights and the flights of someone who was on a different itinerary to the same destination. I’d get halfway through the voice menu and then one of the damn automated announcements would come on, be picked up by the system, and then try to transfer me to a real person. There was no way to just punch in numbers.

I’ve actually stopped suggesting Starbucks as a conversation destination for this very reason. Around here, for whatever reason, the Starbucks joints have the music cranked up to Spinal Tap levels, well above making it possible for comfortable conversation.

I work in IT and occasionally have to call tech support for a particular hardware vendor. Asking for permission to put my call on hold while they check with other techs is annoying as all get out. What am I going to say, No? :rolleyes:

And then, when you come back to the call after being gone less than 10 seconds and apologize for putting me on hold (after I have previously explicitly granted permission to do so), that is even more annoying.

I have an IT issue; it is happening right now; my bosses and my customers are complaining, so let’s forget the pleasantries and get this handled ASAP!

Like Shark Sandwich said, the customer is not always right because the customer frequently interprets that as license to be an asshole.

it really depends on the customer, though. I hate stuff like what has been discussed in this thread because I’m really not a sociable person, and I don’t want to know your name or what you think of what I’m buying/ordering. I just want to take care of my shit and go home.

I know a few sick individuals who actually like talking to people*, and these business tactics are more effective on them.

  • :wink: is implied

This annoys me intensely about pubs and bars in the USA. In my experience, every town in Britain and Ireland will have many pubs, and many of them will be very loud like American bars, but many of them will be quiet (no music) places to sit and chat to your friends or read the paper or whatever.

But thinking of the places I go in the USA, it seems to be a rule that every bar have horribly loud music, or live music. What’s the point of going and paying inflated drink prices so I can go and shout in my friends’ ears, especially if there’s no dancefloor?

pdts

If someone uses my name more than once after I give it, I know I’m being Handled.

The wasted time doesn’t bug me so much as the receptionists who have said the paragraph-long spiel so many times that they rush to get through it as quickly as possible, so it comes out as a string of gibberish. Sometimes I would actually like to KNOW I reached the right company.

Our local pub is even worse in that it usually has reasonable music levels, then the one time we arranged to meet other people there for an evening of socializing, the music got cranked up to shouting at each other levels. Dammit!

I don’t know how it is in other countries, but in America, bars are for drunks. The inflated drink prices are how they make their money, but only if you order lots and lots of them. They don’t have time or space for you to be sitting around chatting when you should be knocking back one shot after another, running up your tab as you slowly kill yourself.

I don’t mind this so much if I can understand what they are saying. Many places have a memorized spiel that the person answering the phone has to get through, and they rush through it at 60 mph, then act offended if you have to ask “Is this XYZ company?”

I used to think this was the rule back when I lived in DC. About a year ago, I moved to Portland, OR and I find that there are a ton of bars and microbreweries out here that do exactly the opposite. They are small, relatively quiet, and serve something other than Bud, Bud Lite, and Miller Lite. I might walk into a place that has eight or nine customers at a time, and they’re all gasp talking to each other. After joining in, I find out that only two or three of them knew each other before they walked in and were able to comfortably socialize because they weren’t blasting alt rock from the mid-90s at 120 decibels.

Um . . . knowing a person who works full-time at Disneyland, I must disagree. Pretty much everyone who walks into the park is jazzed to be there. The park’s biggest people control problems are when the lines get long, and they’re very savvy about keeping the people happy.

They make sure the visual environment is very interesting (I love the lines for the Jungle Cruise and Indiana Jones), and if people are really stacked up, they’ll send out costumed characters to mingle, put more boats/cars/vehicles on the ride, send one of the bands by, that sort of thing. The last thing they want to do is keep people from being able to hear each other.

Of course, the one exception to that is the “It’s a Small World” ride. I think the people who go on that one must be masochists, and I’ve heard that not only do the maintenance guys give that one to the latest newbie, but no newbie returns for a second night without a pair of industrial earplugs, as the music plays all night.