Hi, Gaffer the orange cat who owns Zoogirl here. I’m not afraid, but I HATE her guitar. Dreadful!
Here, Moving Finger; I’ll take this post and answer it as it should be answered. Ahem.
I am Bear, a fourteen year-old reformed tomcat (MF makes snide remarks about testicles now and then, but he never tells me what they are and why I don’t have any.) I am a serene aristocrat of cats, master of all I survey, feared and respected by the two lady cats in the household, Niblet and Heidi. Nothing bothers me, especially that huge German shepherd who lives in the back yard of the house in back of us. I like to relax in the window facing him and he never tries to frighten me. I’m pretty sure he can see me. He yawns in my direction often enough. Lucky for him there’s a five-foot wall between us!
Yeah, we had a monstrous earthquake the other day, but it didn’t bother us. What is just a bit scary is the vacuum cleaner, but MF never uses it as he says it would scare us. Huh!
Oh, wait; here is Niblet to add her two cents.
I am Niblet. I am six weeks younger than Bear who is a big sissy when there are fireworks or other loud noises outside. Heidi and I ignore them but Bear makes some lame excuse to inspect the space under MF’s bed, and he stays there until it is quiet, claiming he fell asleep there. Hah! All I am afraid of is being picked up, which MF seldom does as he knows I hate it.
Hello; I’m Heidi and I am twelve years old. A lot of stuff scares me. When I first came to live here I hid under the bed much of the time (that’s how I got my name!) Now all I am really concerned about is MF trying to pick me up. Niblet says that could be fatal to me, so I avoid it. I rely on Bear protecting me. He is my hero!
Scruffy the cat isn’t afraid of anything… except Iggy.
Stepping back in to say that bubble wrap is scary and evil.
Dad had his chain saw out this afternoon, and it didn’t scare me at all, heck, it made huge sticks for me to play with…
…but when he opened a bottle of soda after using the saw, that little hiss made me flee in terror!
Two more things that scare Daisy the 100+ Pound Dog: balloons, and brooms.
[ slow, southern accent]
Hello boys. My full name is Ashley Jerrels Magnificent Jessie but you can call me Ashley. I am a purebred Basset Hound registered with the AKC who was born in South Carolina about four years ago. As a proper Southern Belle I don’t get scared easily but there are a few things that do perturb me. One thing ( actually, four things ) are my little cat sisters who steal my food and jump on me when I walk by. You would think they would show a little respect for their elders but they don’t. Another thing is the thunderstorms that make all that noise. I had big storms in South Carolina but these are much worse, so when they hit I go rest my 25 Kg ( you know, 25 Kg sounds much better than 55 pounds ) 
in someones lap. And finally, the most annoying thing I have to deal with are those damn monkeys that make noise and throw things at me when I go out in the yard. It’s just small seeds that don’t hurt but I like to lay in the sun and relax, and it is hard to do with them making all that racket.
[ / slow, southern accent]
Duchess Ann here and I am less than three months old.
I love sticks and pine cones and chasing leaves in the wind. I love chasing the cats because when I get close they give me lots of fast and quick pets on my face! They love me!
I like tricking the food dude too. I wake up in the middle of the night to go potty and he takes me out. I tinkle just a little bit and we go inside and he forgets that I should go into my kennel and I get to sleep by him. I snuggle next to him and rest my head on his neck and nibble his beard.
I used to be afraid until Food Dude showed me that he has +5 Stinky Feed of Repelling. I was playing with some of my big chihuahua friends and we were having fun! Some guy showed up with his chihuahua and she was mean. She was growly and bitey and liked to run into us, so I went to Food Dudes feet. When the mean dog came up Food Dude knelt down, rubbed my chest, looked at the mean dog and started saying things in his Low Voice. They must have been Bad Things because DaMom told him to ‘Knock It Off’ and ‘Be Nice’ but Food Dude was close to his feet and didn’t listen (and he didn’t get In Trouble either!!) and Food Dude kept saying things. The mean dog stopped growling and was going to go away when their Big Person came up and told Food Dude that he can’t tell his dog those things. Food Dude told him to either train the dog or keep it on a leash. As the Mean Dogs person got closer the Mean Dog started growling. Food Dude looked at the dog and said ‘If I wanted to hear that shit from you I’d wrap this leash around your neck and pull-start you like a lawnmower.’
DaMom told him in her Ear-Hurty Voice to ‘Be Nice!’ but Food Dude still had Stink Power and didn’t listen again! The other Big Person chased his Mean Dog and they left and I went to play with my friends again.
Now, whenever Weird Things happen I go to Food Dudes feet and his Stinky Feet make everything ok again.
http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u483/Boogliest/stinkyfeet_zpsdb8cf892.jpg
That Dog is cuter than words can properly express
Capt
I love this thread. I tried to get my cats to write something but, you know, cats. Maybe someday.
Dad’s noisy diesel garden tractor with the super noisy mower deck? Meh, not scary…
The sound dad’s nail clipper makes when he clips his nails? RED ALERT, RAISE SHIELDS!!!
The sound Velcro makes when you peel it apart? Worse than the SodaStream monster!
But the tractor? (An old Kubota G5200) meh, doesn’t bother me in the least
Yeah, my cats are not impressed with the vacuum cleaner but if I sneeze they flee the territory.
Hey, Cooper, he’s not really after you with those nail clippers. Is he?
Hi, I’m Cody, jayrey’s Appaloosa horse. I’m the handsomest horse EVER, if I do say so myself (and Mom says it all the time, too). I’m big and brave and not really afraid of anything, well, except water. I won’t walk through a stream or a puddle if Mom is riding me. She has to get off and walk through the water first to prove to me that it is safe. Also, I hate baths. Mom says it’s because I’m white and that light-skinned horses have sensitive skin. I know it’s because I’m made of spun sugar and if I get wet, I’ll melt! Oh, Baja wants to talk too . . .
Greetings, servants. I am Princess Baja, Divine Feline ruler of the domain that jayrey maintains for me. I am not afraid of anything. Good breeding shows; royalty fears nothing.
Mama Zappa’s guinea pig, Uly (short for Ulysses, whateverthewheek THAT means) here:
EVERYTHING scares me. Especially Mama Zappa, Typo Knig and those other Big Things that walk around. I just know they’re going to eat me some day soon. Lucky I’m safe inside this cage and my pigloo!
What doesn’t scare me: food (Wheeeeeek!). Except it’s always brought by those scary Big Things, but I’m too smart for them - I grab the food and take it into my pigloo and eat it as fast as I can before they catch me.
Spectre’s cat Molly here: The vacuum cleaner scares me and I hate it, hate it, hate it! I will usually run when I see it, but sometimes it isn’t possible so my standard backup procedure is to frighten it off by baring my teeth in a silent threat growl. Sometimes I do this from across the room, before they have even plugged it into the wall. But my fearsome threat posture never stops the vacuum.
Guid day, thes is Mackie, th’ scottish terrier. while Ah dae hate an’ fear other dogs, thaur is a wuird mah master uses ‘at causes me tae slink awa’ tae mah pen. Ah dure wish master wood nae use 'at wuird - it scares me as it means he micht be madge!
(With thanks to these people: whoohoo.co.uk - The British Dialect Translator)
Sorry for res-sure-eckting a zom-bee thread, but I found something really scary!
Ladybugs!
Dad has one crawling on his finger and he keeps showing it to me, then laughing when I run away in terror
Ladybugs are truly horrible, dangerous, and not to be trusted, why doesn’t he understand that…
If you need me, I’ll be hiding in the bathroom…
Hey Cooper! The regular ladybugs aren’t too bad, kind of tasty in fact, but those Asian ladybugs taste so bad I need to lick my butt to get rid of the taste. Regards from Snowy.
Cooper & Snowy thanks for the insight.
I am big & hairy. It is really embarrassing to run from a bug. :smack:
Now I can just lick my butt and pretend I meant to do that… You know, run into the bathroom to lick my butt.
You da mans guys. 
Regards, Zeus.
Greetings from Pooka. I am a very large Newfoundland dog. Mom says people often ask if I’m a bear. I’m afraid of firemen. We went trick-or-treating with the human pups, and a **very ** scary fireman gave them stickers and tried to *pet * me! I hid behind mom. The policeman that was with him was also scary. I did not come out until we moved on to more tricks or treats. Whatever that is. Human pups are strange.
Other than that, not much is very scary. I like cats, but only my cats let me lick them. Other cats run away. This makes me very sad. I whine and cry, but they never come back. Please come back cats! I love youuuuuuu!