As someone who had an adulterous relationship effect my life, I can tell you all that you’ll rest easier if you learn to forgive people their transgressions. Forgive, just don’t forget.
Meatros: Can’t speak for her, but if you read Washte’s first two items in her list, you’ll see that she is probably referring to certain types of promises.
Rape
My apologies, Meatros, I should have been more specific.
Some examples (not a complete list):
Forgivable: I promise to do the dishes/put shelves up/etc
Not forgivable: I promise to stop sleeping around/hitting you/being cruel.
Lying. Without reason or need. On a readily verifiable point. And then when confronted, refusing to do anything about it.
Arrogance to the point of sociopathy.
That’s what I thought, but I was just checking to be sure.
I was going to say, my fiance would be incredibly pissed off at me: “honey, you promised to cook dinner tonight”
“Uh…that’s right I did…I’ll cook, I swear…” tries quickly to find Pizza Hut number “can you hand me the phone?”
“That’s not what you promised, you promised to COOK for me.”
telling your live-in girlfriend that you had a dream of being a polygymist, and in the dream she was upset because you didn’t chose her as your primary wife with whom you shared your bed and had children with, but rather your “secondary wife” - then giggling with a crap eating grin on your face as she sits dumbstruck at the ego boosting sweet nothings you just spoon fed her after she cooked your dinner.
=)
i could forgive that - but i’d still think it was 110% stupid
Long-term deliberate malevolent psychological manipulation.
The animal in this story that abused and neglected these poor children. May she burn in hell.
What about my case. I suffered long-term deliberate malevolent psychological manipulation and abuse throughout my childhood. The person who did it was my slightly older brother. (also a child through most of it) Should I forgive him? Of course he hasn’t really changed so I haven’t forgiven him and I try to not have contact with him.
Does the age of the perpertrator have any affect?
What about a child who murders another child? Should they be forgiven?