Things to Annoy You All Day

Things you’ve stopped noticing, but will after they’re mentioned:

You can feel your clothes hangin on you.
(Some people) You can feel your hair brushing your neck or face.
The air conditioning is actually quite loud in your office.
Your computer never shuts up with that fan.
You can always see the end of your nose.
(Some people) Your glasses are always in your peripheral vision.
Your weight is flattening your butt.

[sub]With rare exceptions…[/sub] You have absolutely no memory of what you were doing on this date one year ago. Or exactly six months ago. You would probably have no idea what you were doing exactly three months ago, come to that. Imagine, all that stuff that presumably seemed to make some sort of sense at the time, and now utterly forgotten and forgettable. Kinda makes you realise, life is just sand slipping through the hourglass, doesn’t it? Also makes you realise that all that stuff you’re so occupied with right now and that seems so damned important… will just be more mental slurry that slips away into the oblivion of ‘stuff I’ve completely forgotten’.

We’ll have to go back a few years.

I was a poor student, renting a very small room in a rather decrepit flat. The bathroom was small enough that one showered about a foot from the toilet - and rather than drying the water off the toilet lid, we, being young men, would just open the toilet and let whatever water that was so inclined run into the bowl.

Having thus set the scene: The sound made by a bar of soap slipping and falling in the toilet would be sure to annoy you all day.

S. Norman