I like to ride around on things with wheels on. Is that a crime? Is it dangerous, inappropriate or immoral in any way to take a little ride on something with wheels on? In a bar last night I found a sort of low platform with wheels on. I take one little ride around in it and they kick me out. At school there are large blue wheelie bins about the place to put waste paper in. I take one little ride in a wheelie and they write to my parents. In Safeways carpark there are shopping trollies lying loose everwhere. I take one little ride down the high street and a policeman confiscates my trolley and gives me a severve talking to. What is wrong with these people? 
Stupid grown-ups!
Get your applicaion in to le Cirque.
I know what you mean but ever since they debuted that Avril Lavigne video “Complicated” where she goes around trashing the mall in a giant motorized Tonka Truck the whole world has gone to the shits. Nobody is allowed to ride on things with wheels on anymore.
IDBB
I seriously couldn’t agree more. You know that deep down everyone wants to ride around on things with wheels, including the people who’ll tell you off for doing it.
It’s a victimless crime.
Offer to pick up the tab for next year’s liability insurance and maybe they’ll let ya zoom around a bit (I doubt it).
thanks for the support guys! I felt all alone out there, victimized, condemmed - now I know that riding around on stuff is not as wrong as they would have me believe and I’m not afraid to stand up for my beliefs… tomorrow I’m going to make a tram out of a cardboard box and two skateboards and ride around in it.
Chicken, you have to believe the older people on this. The wheelie bins are a gateway drug. First you’ll be on the wheelie bin, then you’ll graduate to a shopping cart, and someday down the line in a few years you’ll be in an SUV. And we all know how much trouble you’ll be in then.
I know what you mean, Chicken. Where I work, we have a huge open space in our building with a smooth floor. We have these wheeled office chairs, and one swift kick off the wall will send you clear across the building. Then, someone comes out and yells at you for it. Some gibberish about how this is a hangar, not a playground, expensive airplanes, soft aluminum, blah blah blah.
Whatta bunch of sticks-in-the-mud.
You like to ride around on Jesus? [/ralph]
Don’t get me started on chairs with wheels on! The things are DESIGNED to ride around on! Why else would they put wheels on them? This is a cruel cruel world
My name is Torgo, I drive a Yugo.
Back when I was sixteen, I got a job at a large discount store. It hadn’t opened yet, so we were there for training. Though I was designated a cashier, they thought it important that I should know how to return “stray” items abandoned by customers at the register to their proper places in the store shelves.
While my friend and I were pushing a cart full of items around the store, I suddenly had the irrepressible urge to go Cart Surfing. The aisles being long and wide were a perfect runway. My friend warned me darkly that “the suits” were out and about, and I might be caught, but youth and recklessness go hand in hand.
At the end of the aisle, I ran as hard as I could to get up steam, and then lept onto the back of the cart. It was a wild ride, zooming past paper plates, napkins and the like, the wind in my hair, and a huge shit-eating grin plastered on my face.
Unfortunately, I had forgotten an important fundamental of Cart Surfing: carts do not come with breaks. Suddenly, three men in dark suits stepped around the corner into my path. They were engrossed in clipboards, and did not immediately see a girl on a speeding cart flying toward them. Terrified that my Surfing Cart would become a Death Cart, I swerved wildly, and plowed into a huge stack of paper towels. It was truly a sight to behold. The stack of paper towels exploded in all directions, sending rolls like plump, white missles all the way into frozen foods. My cart wobbled and tipped, but half-buried by the avalanche, continued no futher. I was thrown to the ground, thankfully cushioned by what seemed like thousands of rolls of paper towels. I was bonked on the head repeatedly as the rolls continued to tumble down.
Lying stunned beneath a pile, I was frozen. Standing above me, with a frown on his wrinkled face was the regional manager. The store manager stood behind him with a look of abject horror on his face. “That’s it,” I thought. “I’m fired. Before the store even opens, I’m fired. This is a new personal low.”
The regional manager held out his hand. I took it, and stood up, rolls of paper towels tumbling from my trembling form. “All right, then?” he asked. I nodded.
He silently surveyed the scene. Exscuses, apologies, and groveling passed through my mind. I pictured having to explain to my family why I needed to borrow some cash to pay off the damage of a thousand rolls of paper towels. Then he spoke: “Mind if I borrow this?” he asked, pointing at the cart. Before I could answer, and to the astonishment of all present, this man, who looked like an undertaker with clinical depression, seized the cart, and with a little running start zoomed away, leaving gaped-jawed toadies in his wake. For a moment, the store manager just stared after him, and then barked at me to clean up the mess before taking off in a run to catch up to the regional manager, who was now squealing, “Wheee!” as he propelled himself along.
I did not lose my job, nor did I have to replace the paper towels. It was the last time I practiced the sport of Cart Surfing, but I’m sure the sight of that old man, his tie waving behind him as he sailed along, shouting his glee, will stay with me forever.
I broke my wrist riding in a shopping cart (trolly) so you have to be careful of those things…
I didn’t break my wrist, but I did crash fairly spectacularly when attempting to zoom along on the back of a shopping cart.
Unfortunately I did not think of the physics of it before I took off running and jumped on it. I forgot that there must be something in the cart before you jump on the back of it. Otherwise you do what I did. Go on an exhilerating 5 second ride before the cart hits a small bump in the parkinglot and flips upside down, sending me skidding about a meter on the pavement.
I managed to get up and set the cart to straight (with a little help from a cute guy who saw my crash 
) and go into the store to join my aunt in shopping for our week of bachelorette living. I survived with merely scrapes on my hand and an inch long cut just below my right knee (which somehow got there with not even causing a stretch mark on my pants) which bled down my leg until we got home and I was able to clean it. I have a nice little scar there now.
It was a nice 5 seconds… wistful
I also have various other scars, most of which I came by in dumb ways (most not by my actions of doing something dumb, just scars that the actions taken to get them seem impossibly stupid somehow. I have scars from stuff like helium tanks, pool tables and fridges. Ask sometime, maybe I’ll tell.)
Great story, Lissa!
In a former life, I discovered that pallet jacks make great scooters.
We used to have races in the warehouse after a three beer lunch until Joey ran off the loading dock into the parking lot…
My dad still cart surfs. He’ll be 60 next year.
Yes the grocery cart ride! A full load on including baby in the seat. Mom kicks off and rides it down the middle of the meijers parking lot. Brushing off stares and skidding around pot holes picking up speed yes indeedy! Scuff the tip of my timberland to slow the behemoth of food packages down.
“again again again” says the babe.
ROTFLMAO@Lissa’s story*
That’s too funny, the mental image of an older man sailing down a wide grocery aisle in a nice suit and tie going “Wheeee!”
That’s too freaking funny.
And as for the Segway…Emissions free, powered by rechargeable NiMH battery packs–what do they have scientists from the Nation Institute of Mental Health inside there,making it go with their sheer brainpower?
IDBB