Things you didn't know but everyone else did

I think you mean a fire hydrant. At least, I hope so, or I may be misinformed …

Until I was in my teens, I thought there was a drink called a Roman Coke (Sparklo’ post reminds me). I never ordered one only because I didn’t start drinking until I was almost 21, and by then had probably seen “Rum and Coke” written.

Yes, Scupper, that’s what I meant. :smack:

LOL, I thought car insurance paid for ALL repairs on cars…Your car breaks down, no prob, you’ve got insurance!

Good one! I thought the band The Eagles were ALSO pro-football players from Philadelphia til I was 13 or 14. I was like, wow, they’re so multi-talented! Derrr!!

That male squirrels have testicles.

For the longest time I din’t know that you can write a check for more than the purchase price and get change. (My excuse is that my parents, being Japanese, know even less about using personal checks than I do.)

Also I was in college before I found out that The Sound of Music was based on a true story. I was even involved in the high school production of it (though only as an orchestra member) and didn’t find out.

By the way, do women know about shrinkage? My girlfriend in college didn’t know till she saw that Sienfeld episode.

:: banquetbear runs to an acronym finder , as he too is too embarrassed to ask ::

AHA!!!

Wild Assed Guess!!!

I’ll take a WAG that that is correct?
:wink:

http://www.acronymfinder.com/af-query.asp?String=exact&Acronym=WAG&Find=Find

I have the same problem. I think it’s because we grew up, you opened pop bottles with a bottle opener, and they did not “retighten”. And, later, when soda started being sold in cans (ick), you opened them with a beer opener, and they did not retighten. Can’t do that with pop-tops, either.

So, given that it’s seldom that an open bottle starts fizzing over, we revert to our young-lives, and don’t do the practical thing!

Oh! Another one!

When I was little, I had a book about two sisters. The older sister often fondly thought of her little sister, saying “she’s a nuisance, but I love her.”

This always happened when it was pointed out that the little sister couldn’t tie her own shoes, that she couldn’t say some words correctly, that she didn’t didn’t know the way home from the candy store, etc.

Based on this, I believed the little sister was mentally handicapped. I didn’t figure out until years later that the little sister couldn’t tie her own shoes, etc, because she wasthree years old.

So I assumed “nuisance” meant mentally retarded. I was shocked, shocked I tell you, when I heard grown-ups sometimes use the word nuisance. In my mind, it was akin to calling someone a retard, which I knew was inappropriate.

I believed this to be true until I was in COLLEGE. Geez, talk about a nuisance!

I’m ashamed to admit that this happened to me mere weeks ago.

I’m 22 and i don’t cook - i don’t mean that in a…

“rah! me man! make fire! hunt buffalo! you woman! you cook! clean house!”

…way. Its more that i was never taught how, have never been able to do it when people have tried to teach me (i’m crap at that whole multi-tasking thing it involves), and food really isn’t that big a deal to me.

i eat because i need nourishment. Microwave meals do me fine - if i want something nice then i’ll just get a takeaway. life is quicker and easier that way. plus when it comes to cooking my safety record isn’t great - how i still have the tops of my fingers is a mystery to everyone who’s ever seen me in the kitchen.

Anyway, my current GF has known me for years so knows what i’m like and since we started dating we’ve reached a happy compromise - sometimes she treats me by cooking for me, sometimes i treat her by taking her out etc. etc.

(for the record as a valentines thing i’m actually going to try and cook for her tonight. be afraid. be very afraid.)

So about two or three weeks ago, she emailed me just before i was going to head home and asked me if i fancied coming round - she’d cook but could i pick up a few items from Tescos on the way?

“no problem” I replied “Send me a shopping list”. She did, i printed it off without looking at it and headed out.

So on the way, i call into the Tesco supermarket round the corner from her place, grab a basket, and start going through the list - milk, eggs, sugar, carton of orange juice, ribena, onions, a green pepper, an iceberg…

what???

what the frikkin’ hell is an iceberg??

Now don’t get me wrong, i’m not a thicky - i pretty much guessed that it had absolutely nothing to do with Leonardo di Caprio or bad Celine Dion songs straight away, but it still completely stymied me.

The worst part was that:

a) I couldn’t ring her to ask what it was - i didn’t have my mobile with me.

b) I KNEW that it was one of those things that as an ordinary well rounded adult i should know and that i was going to look a complete twat when i asked someone about it.

“Don’t Panic” i thought. “It’ll come to me whilst i find everything else.”

But it didn’t.

In the end i had to go up to some spotty little oik of a girl (i couldn’t find any of the nice granny staff members) and ask.

I tried just saying “Have you got any icebergs?” (hoping she’d say something like - “yes they’re in the freezer cabinet next to the chips” or “yes you’ll find them in the bakery next to the baguettes”)

but no.

she just looked at me quizzically and says “in the vegetable section.”

which considering how big the store (and therefore its vegetable section) is, was fuck all help at all

so i had to bite the bullet:

“um thanks. erm… this is probably going to sound stupid - but what is an iceberg??”

“seriously?”

“yes”

“no way!”

“yes.”

"Its lettuce! OH MY GOD! I can’t believe you didn’t know that!

“no”

“OH MY GOD! Thats so funny! sorry! i shouldn’t laugh! But EVERYONE knows that!!! OH MY GOD! Thanks! you’ve made my night!”

the worst part was that by the time i’d gone and got one, decided to get a bottle of wine and worked out which one to get and gone to the “baskets only” check out…

…guess who was on the till.

:smack:

Okay, picture it: Thanksgiving dinner with my husband, my parents, sister and brother-in-law. There’s a lot of dysfunction there so we are valiantly trying to keep the conversation going and so I tell my husband to tell everyone that new joke he just told me. Blank stare. You know, honey - and I describe the joke in a little detail without actually giving it away. Still just a stare. And everyone else is staring at me too. “Yoo know - that one joke!” Finally my husband chokes out that he doesn’t think that joke would be appropiate. Imagine my embarrassment when I realize that I had never really got the dirty joke and thus didn’t realize that it was off color. Everyone else, however, had heard it and knew exactly which one it was. I was mortified. My sister still brings it up and almost pees her pants over it all these years later. My only consolation is that I have never again seen that “deer in the headlights” look on my husbands face. It was classic.

I used to read Enid Blyton books when I was around seven, but I didn’t know they were by her. This was because instead of printing her name on the cover in nice legible text, they printed her signature. So for the longest time I thought her name was Guid Blyton, and I didn’t find it odd at all.

Well, I thought male ducks fertilized eggs by sitting on them after they were layed by the female ducks. I always wondered why ducks were so agressive and fought so much. My friend, who clued me in on this mystery said “What didya think…the male sits on the egg or something?” Well, yeah, that 's what my dad told me when I was a kid. He doesn’t lie…

Garius, don’t feel bad! When I was reading your list, I didn’t know what an iceberg was either until the girl said “in the vegie section”! She should have put lettuce after that… I know a few guys that would have just loaded up the back of their pickups with bagged ice and declared it an iceberge :rolleyes:

Can I just tell you, garius, that I really liked your story, with the English slang and all? Very nice.

My SIL, when she was younger, thought “bastard” was a compliment. She was coaxing her baby sister, about 7 years younger, across the floor by saying, “Come you, you little bastard…that’s a good little bastard…look how fast you’re going! Good bastard!” My MIL had to explain things to her.

garius, what’s ribena? (or a ribena?) ???

I didn’t know what “silver dollar pancakes” were until that guy got the question wrong on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and everyone in the country was talking about how dumb he was for not knowing it.

Also, I didn’t know who OJ Simpson was until he killed somebody. shrug

To my epiphany a couple of years ago, I just realized Paul Simon was the half of ‘Simon and Garfunkel’. It’s rather bad since I own many Paul Simon CD’s…

Ooh, ooh, what was the joke?

Okay this was a few years ago so I’m excused…

I thought it was just a coincidence the Letters to the Editor section of these 2 different magazines were always answered by someone called Ed.

He he he