Like squash? Zuchinni? Acorn? Butternut?
Oh, I contain so much ignorance I don’t even know where to start.
Until I was 23, I thought “awry” was pronounced “aw-ree”.
And add me into the Enid/Guid Blyton club.
As far as misheard lyrics go, I have experienced the embarassment of discovering the following aren’t true:
Pretty Ness is not selling puppies from a tray, rather “Pretty nurse is selling poppies from a tray”.
and
Susan is not in fact enjoying a lovely time in the sun. It’s “Seasons in the Sun”
But before I start feeling too dumb, allow me to pick on my masters degree holding boyfriend. The first time we cooked a Thanksgiving dinner together, he asked me to hand him the “awl”. I looked around for a hooked knitting implement before realizing he wanted a rubber headed basting tool. He had seen a picture of an awl on Classic Concentration, and it looked like the thangy (which may or may not be called a baster?) used to suck up juices and spit them back down on meat.
OK, for the way back machine I remember a conversation with my mother when I was under 6. I couldn’t understand how everyone knew which side of the road to drive on. She kept trying to explain to me that it was simple, “you just drive on the right side of the road.”
“Yea, but how do you know which side is the right side?”
Of course this led to a discussion of right hand and left hand. But it did NOT clear up my confusion. I looked down the road we were travelling on and noticed (using my newly aquired knowledge of right and left) that there was indeed a line down the middle of the road one side on the right the other on the left. And it was obvious that we were on the right hand side while everyon else was on the left. However, I asked how everyone else would know to switch sides when we returned down the same road.
I still have trouble with right and left, counter and clockwise, and even up and down sometimes 
More recently I just realized the woman’s shirts are buttoned fromt he other side than men’s.
that Lincoln didn’t free the slaves (Emancipation Proclamation) until well into the Civil War, which was fought over states rights, not the issue of slavery.
Until I was about 12, I thought Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson were the same person. I would use their names interchangeably.
When I was 14, I told a very racist joke to a group of friends–I mean very racist–because I didn’t quite understand the punchine. I was met with gasps and a slap to the face. Oops.
I had a friend who thought the price of a stamp was the “state number”. That was a classic.
I realized just a few days ago that, in the theme of The Beverly Hillbillies, when they talk about “up from the ground came a bubblin’ crude”…that a few words later, they refer to “Texas tea”, not “Texas T”.
I always thought they just meant the letter ‘T’. Always wondered why they called it a letter.
Squash=Cordial.
This is a “drink” which is popular in Britain. Basically, in the supermarket, you buy a bottle of the syrupy stuff and dilute it with water to get a Kool-Aid like concoction, only much tastier. Ribena is a blackcurrant flavored brand name of squash.
As for my “idiot moment”, it involved this very thing–then the same thing happened to my best friend! I thought “Apple Blackcurrant” sounded like a pretty good drink. Brought the stuff home, it tasted like crap. Told my friend not to buy it. Two days later I noticed, in very tiny print, the “dilute with 4 parts water” direction. Follwing the directions, it tasted great! Told my friend all about it. He liked it. Two weeks later, we’re hanging out, and he tells me bought this stuff that tastes like crap. It’s the EXACT SAME BOTTLE! He’d previously ridiculed me for not reading the directions, then he made the same mistake!
Well after that it seems that I can spell cordial after all.
Could have stopped a lot of confusion!
When I was a child and we had spaghetti for dinner, my mother would serve it with “shaker cheese.” I honestly thought that was the name for it.
I was an adult before I heard the word “Parmesan.” And I still think of it as “shaker cheese.”
I used to confuse Bill Cosby with Bing Crosby.
Ahhh…thank you for the acronym finder. I can read the boards much better now. 
Does it count that I didn’t know there was such thing as an acronym finder?
Here’s a good one…
My boyfriend is, well, “country”, and sometimes we pronounce words differently. It did seem to me, though, that he was saying “every since” instead of “ever since”. We had been dating for well over a year before I called him on it, and he had no idea he was saying it incorrectly. To him, his way made more sense…like, all the sinces that between now and that event. Or something.
I have many myself, but one that comes to mind that hasn’t been mentioned is that I am usually unaware when a movie has been remade. For instance, “Ocean’s Eleven” was coming on TV while I was visiting my mom, and I got all excited and told her how clever it was. After we watched it, I asked if she shared my enthusiasm for it. She then informed me that it was just like the original. Original? Wha…? Same goes for the song “Lady Marmalade”. And others…
Oh yes, and http://www.kissthisguy.com has been very useful in solving many of my song-lyric woes.
Distinct religious confusion- When I was a kid, until about age 6, I thought:
Lutherans worshipped Lex Luthor. I couldn’t figure out why you’d wanna worship the bad guy…
There was a religious school near mine named ‘Visitation’ (short for something, I’m sure). Due to the name, I figured the students there visited other schools instead of being taught there.
I just yesterday was told (by a complete stranger, no less) that Kansas City, MO and Kansas City, Kansas were the same city divided by a state line. But to be fair, he didn’t know that all Hallmark Cards come from Kansas City; so we’re even. (He also didn’t know there was a “Nurse’s Day” or that you could buy a card for it, but then remarked “I’m sure if someone was planning to commit suicide Hallmark has a Good Luck on your Suicide card for it.”)
…that my girlfriend was sleeping with the world.
When I worked for a travel company, my boss asked me where Texarkana was.
When I was a kid I somehow got the idea that Gorbachev was the governor of Ohio.
I still don’t know how to do a spiler. 
light bulb Wait a second. Let me try something. …
la la la
(previews while crossing fingers)
YESSSSS!!!
I saw the Fist of the North Star movie hit Blockbuster video and watched the entire Kimagure Orange Road and Oh My Goddess OAV series without ever realizing that all three were based on much longer-running manga series. (And had undergone more changes than The Simpsons.) Oh yeah, I watched a gazillion episodes of Star Blazers, Voltron, Robotech, Tranzor Z, etc., and I never saw anything at all unusual about the artwork or animation.
I’ve seen every episode of The Powerpuff Girls, and until I read about it on a message board, it never once occurred to me that anyone could ever mistake it for anime.
It was more than a year after Hank Williams Jr. first appeared on Monday Night Football that I learned that he’s one of the most hated country music performers ever. (I also had no idea that he butchered one of his own songs to get that little jingle.)
When Pump It Up first showed up in the arcades, it struck me as a that the Dance Dance Revolution community would absolutely love. I mean, if you like dance games, having another dance game is good, right? And the pad’s different, so that’s even more variety, which is good, right? And the music’s different, which is even better, right?
Oh yeah…I was well over 18 before I knew, point-blank, 100%, that pro wrestling isn’t real.
Yeah, I’m pathetic in some ways…
Can’t believe I missed this…
When someone named Elian Gonzales washed up on the Florida coastline, I…honest to god…had no idea what the hell the big controvery was. I mean, he’s a lonely boy miles from his homeland, and his daddy misses him…for crying out loud, send him home! And since when do we care about some little foreign boy, anyway?
:rolleyes: 
I didn’t make the connection that “Weird Earl=Weird URL” until my husband said it out loud…a good 300 posts after I started hangin’ around these parts.
:rolleyes: