A gorgeous, very cool wife and a beautiful daughter mature beyond her years. I constantly hear approving comments about both and always thank my lucky stars.
Things I Have That People Seem To Envy:
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My guitar. It’s just a good, high end guitar (late 90s Gibson LP Custom), no Holy Grail, but it looks sharp and I make it sound good. I get frequent compliments and good-natured envy (I’d buy that thing from you if it weren’t a lefty!), even from people whose instruments are at least as nice as mine.
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My memory. For trivia, fact and figures, spelling and grammar, I’m a steel trap. (I’m not all that gifted in terms of general intelligence!) But because my intelligence is of the sort that’s easy to display and notice, I get a lot of “How the hell do you know that?!?” and “ask Ben; he can spell anything.” :rolleyes:
Boy, do I know where you’re coming from, but with singing rather than piano. “You have such a gift!” Yeah, right, I popped out of my mother’s womb singing Rossini. Sorry, folks, I worked my ass off for years, spending hours upon hours in stuffy practice rooms, to get this technique. Oh, and no, I won’t sing for free at your daughter’s wedding. Really, I do expect to get paid, and here’s my rate.
On the other hand, people admire me for my intelligence, and I actually did kind of just pop out that way. I’m not brilliant by any stretch of the imagination, but I read voraciously and absorb knowledge fairly quickly. Furthermore, I have a particular knack for standardized tests, so schools have thrown scholarship money at me right and left. Consequently, I have no student loan debt. That has caused a certain amount of envy.
My humbleness, my impeccably clean language and my 12 inch long schlong.
I have naturally thick eyelashes, which I’ve been told by countless women is a source of genuine envy in them. When I go swimming, it looks like I have mascara on.
Secretly, I also know everyone’s envious of my amazing superstar of a wife, but they keep these feelings discreetly bottled up in my presence.
That’s so sad. Cancer?
Our 3 kids. Nearly 16 to 19, they are all reasonably pleasant and polite, well-spoken, and respectful of others and their property. Get pretty good grades, pursue interests at which they do pretty well, contribute around the house, seem to choose their friends well, and have caused no significant trouble other than (from what I gather) a pretty low degree of sibling bickering.
Our backyard. Over the past 10 years we planted masses of perennials. They have grown in such that the yard looks very lush, while requiring very little maintenance. Really nice place to hang, either on the deck, the patio, or (my favorite) the hammock.
Some of the hacks I play with wish they could drive a golfball as well as I do, and I think some people who are out of shape envy my relative fitness for an old fart.
And some folks envy my job. Not the job itself, but the fact that it financially supports a pretty comfortable lifestyle while involving next to no stress and allowing me to take time off pretty much whenever I wish.
That’s about it.
I agree with the folks who have commented that the things they enjoy that others “envy” did not come about by accident.
My verbal skills, my trick memory and my marriage. Oh, and my creative/crafty skills, too. And except for the latter two, which take work, I can’t really take any credit for the others, because the second helped me get the first. 
In college I was shocked at how bitterly envious some people in my study group were of my memory. By no means photographic, I can tell you if a passage in a book is in the first 1/3, upper left hand corner of the page. I was way popular during open book tests.
My curly hair. Women will gasp “That’s NATURAL?!” and I usually answer that I didn’t do this to myself on PURPOSE.
Cyn, who has supernaturally curly hair.
The insight to realize that this is just a thinly disguised “Brag on your bad self” thread, the humility to not brag about my bad self, and a comedic grasp of irony.
Thank you. 
It’s not a natural talent tho’, it’s just practice, practice, practice just like piano playing and singing. The more often you do it, the easier it gets. (not saying you should force yourself to do it if you don’t wanna wear heels but if someone really want s to wear heels comfortably, that’s how it works…)
I think some friends are impressed by my vocabulary, grammar skillz, education. I remain unimpressed.
Wow. Someone thinks highly of herself, doesn’t she? 
I frankly have no idea.
I think it’s safe to say that many people would think me more intelligent than the average but I’m not the least be aware if any are envious of me for it. Other than that, no fabulous physique, no snazzy possessions, and the “great wife” wasn’t.
I am!
My wife, without question.
Incredibly beautiful, hot as liquid asphalt, smart, and game for just about any adventure you’d care to name. Yes, I’m a very lucky man.
My unflappableness. Coworkers and friends ask how I’m able to deal with all of the crises and stresses of various life (ER calls, car wrecks, family drama) and work emergencies (multi-million dollar decisions, VP’s demanding your head on a platter) so calmly. I often wonder the opposite…something important needs doing regardless of whether you were prepared for it or not, so why are you all wasting time screaming and panicking?
I attribute that to my English ancestry
I’m told I have a great smile. I don’t get it, since I have horribly crooked teeth that dentists call all of their other dentist buddies in the next stalls over to come have a gander at.
I attribute that to my English ancestry
People envy my physical traits, but very few know me well enough to envy anything of actual importance. Folks are superficial that way. But I really believe that a lot of my friends are a million times happier with their lives than I am. Looks don’t make for happiness.
My intelligence - I, like other dopers, memorize things quickly, remember almost everything I hear (I recited a phone number I accidentally heard once on an answering machine at someone else’s house, three days later). I can solve puzzles, learn things quickly, analyze information (duh, Intel Analyst).
My money - That’s what happens when you spend a year and a half on an Iraq deployment and have nothing to spend your paycheck on except…except…uh…well…ok, there’s nothing.
My kid.
He’s half-European and half-Asian, which makes him ‘exotic’ here, and some of the comments I hear from my wife’s friends as they fawn over him go beyond ordinary Japanese flattery and actually make me embarrassed for their husbands and kids. One, who’d been trying to get pregnant, turned to her husband and said “I don’t want your kid, I want him.” Fortunately, she meant my son and not me, otherwise dinner would have been even more awkward.
Well, I’m currently qualified for the Magic: The Gathering pro tour…
Oh, and I’m a “Charter Member”. Suck it, non-charter-members!