This morning, I behaved like an idiot.
It seems that I have a fast car. Actually…let me back up a little.
I have TWO vehicles. I have a (basically) brand new Ford truck, which currently has the driver’s side window stuck in the DOWN position. I haven’t had time to get to the dealer to get it fixed. Now I only have ONE inside parking space and another OUTSIDE. So I moved the fast car outside in order to make room for the invalid truck. I did so because of the recent storm on the east coast. I was subsequently buried under…jeez…I don’t know…maybe 10 feet of snow. Or at least it seemed like that when I was trying to shovel the wet, heavy mess out of my yard.
So now here’s my situation: I have one vehicle inside, nice and clean, BUT with the distinct problem that if I drive it to work this morning, I’m going to have to do so with the window down.
I have another vehicle that’s pretty much still buried. I TRIED to shovel the damn thing out, and I did the best I could. It looks to me like I have a reasonable chance of driving it out of there. I cleared everything away from the back end of the car and I figure if I just step on the gas, I can get the fast car out and be on my way. I can drive to work without the cold wind and windshield washer fluid marring my trip.
So I got in the fast car (an XJS V12) and put it in reverse. I step on the gas. It’s clearly a no go. I mean, the wheels spin and NOTHING budges. It barely even wiggles. So I step on the gas again. Harder this time. Until I hear gravel flying and feel the rear of the car literally sinks a few inches.
Now I can barely get the door open to get out of the fast car because it’s sort of sunk down in the snow. It looks like I’m going to have to wait until all this snow melts in June and then call some condescending asshole with a tow truck to help me drag the Jag out of the enormous hole I put it in. Said asshole will likely go home and tell his wife and kids about the ignorant GIRL who has a really neat car and doesn’t know how to drive it. He’ll say things like “Women drivers!” as he slaps his hand to his mullet-bestowed forhead.
I don’t think there was an excuse for this stupidity of mine even if it WAS only 5:30 in the morning. Oh…it was a great drive to work with the window down by the way.