Well, i’ll start. It all started off on a nice, normal Thursday afternoon. I decided to get a head start on an in class essay on Mr. Lincoln. So, I get the topic. It’s evaluate Lincoln as the Great Emancipator. I think, “How easy, since Lincoln didn’t care about emancipating the slaves one ounce.” I outline examples, and proceed to write. Except I happen to forget to actually include one example. And that example happened to be the Emancipation Proclmation. Ugh!!! You kind of really need that to do well. On the bright side, I can redo my essay (my teacher said that if we do badly, we can try again, plus she wants us to do as many practice essays as possible before the AP exam), but I just can’t stop kicking myself.
Damnit, do not NOT mention the Emancipaton Proclamation…
Okay, what idiotic thing have you done today- or any other day of the week?
On my first day at a new job, which was this Monday, I got up, took a look in the mirror and decided my goatee was a bit ragged and fluffy. So I dig out my handy-dandy beard trimmer, turn it on, point it toward my chin and - {WANK} - off comes half of my prized goatee.
It seems I hadn’t noticed that the attachment which regulates how much hair gets trimmed wasn’t on the damn thing. Luckily, I got creative enough to shave it into a decent, albeit smaller, design on my face, so all was not lost.
Just this morning, I made the mistake of going to my old McDonalds for breakfast. I worked there about a year ago, transferred stores when they closed for rennovations, and never went back when the place opened again. It’s 2 minutes away from my house, so i’m often tempted to go there (I don’t like BK breakfast), but I never do. I figured drive thru was safe. The order taker was an old friend of mine, so I chatted with him, that was cool. And the drive thru presenter was my old manager, who was full of more shit than a portapotty. She’s nice to your face, but once you leave, she starts talkin trash. So she calls Scott over, and we were talking for a minute. She casually asked if I was a manager yet, and when i said yes, so looked amazed. “Oh, that’s nice dear. Good for you.” Then she turned to Scott, while still in front of me, “So’d who’d she have to sleep with to get that promotion?” Scott started laughing, and I looked at him in confusion, because I hadn’t heard exactly what she’d said. He repeated it for me. It was everything I had not to slap her in the face. Just wait’ll I see Scott again…and the worst part, after not sticking up for me, he gave me cold food!!! Grrr!!!
It seems that I have a fast car. Actually…let me back up a little.
I have TWO vehicles. I have a (basically) brand new Ford truck, which currently has the driver’s side window stuck in the DOWN position. I haven’t had time to get to the dealer to get it fixed. Now I only have ONE inside parking space and another OUTSIDE. So I moved the fast car outside in order to make room for the invalid truck. I did so because of the recent storm on the east coast. I was subsequently buried under…jeez…I don’t know…maybe 10 feet of snow. Or at least it seemed like that when I was trying to shovel the wet, heavy mess out of my yard.
So now here’s my situation: I have one vehicle inside, nice and clean, BUT with the distinct problem that if I drive it to work this morning, I’m going to have to do so with the window down.
I have another vehicle that’s pretty much still buried. I TRIED to shovel the damn thing out, and I did the best I could. It looks to me like I have a reasonable chance of driving it out of there. I cleared everything away from the back end of the car and I figure if I just step on the gas, I can get the fast car out and be on my way. I can drive to work without the cold wind and windshield washer fluid marring my trip.
So I got in the fast car (an XJS V12) and put it in reverse. I step on the gas. It’s clearly a no go. I mean, the wheels spin and NOTHING budges. It barely even wiggles. So I step on the gas again. Harder this time. Until I hear gravel flying and feel the rear of the car literally sinks a few inches.
Now I can barely get the door open to get out of the fast car because it’s sort of sunk down in the snow. It looks like I’m going to have to wait until all this snow melts in June and then call some condescending asshole with a tow truck to help me drag the Jag out of the enormous hole I put it in. Said asshole will likely go home and tell his wife and kids about the ignorant GIRL who has a really neat car and doesn’t know how to drive it. He’ll say things like “Women drivers!” as he slaps his hand to his mullet-bestowed forhead.
I don’t think there was an excuse for this stupidity of mine even if it WAS only 5:30 in the morning. Oh…it was a great drive to work with the window down by the way.
Last week I was sitting in my cube at work, and wondering how much gas I had in my car. So, naturally, I checked my watch. Damn thing only told me the date and time, however.
Similarly, my car’s remote entry control has let me down in unlocking doors to a variety of buildings.
Yeah. I read this thread earlier today and thought smugly to my self, “Ha. I haven’t done anything stupid in a looooong time.” Then, about 5 minutes ago I realized that I am wearing the same underwear I wore yesterday. sigh I don’t think I should get into the details about how this came about because it involves ahem girl stuff. But you should know that because I live alone, I immediately strip down when I get home. (My apartment is always too hot, and I have no thermostat.) And the undies were re-put on sometime around 4am in a groggy mixup.
sigh I’m so disappointed in myself. I can’t even blame this on infernal technology.
