I know I’m a smartass, but I never knew it ever actually intimidated anyone. Doubly intimidating for guys who’d like to hit on me. (My current SO said it took vast amounts of nerve for him to “make a move” on me, and this is after we’d been friends for over a year. He made his move via text-message, btw, which was equal parts sweet and chicken-shit. It worked though.)
Conversely, I’m also one of those women whom other women want to be friends with. I’ve been told numerous times that I’m an excellent listener and “problem solver.”
I find this baffling. I find other peoples’ problems generally quite boring, and I don’t go out of my way to make friends; I have enough friends–too many actually, so that I don’t get to spend enough time with them–but lots of women I would consider “acquaintances” consider me a great friend of theirs.
I find this out when they buy me gifts/cards/seek me out when they have a problem, etc…
I should mention I’m a bartender, so that I’m generally quite easy to find, and it’s part of my job to talk to people. But I find it really odd that people, particularly women, think we’re forging some kind of real friendship. When in fact I’m just doing my job. Most people get on my nerves, which is why I cherish the friends I have and don’t make very many new ones.
But I have “Your New BFF” apparently stamped on my forehead.
My dad was overheard saying to a friend, “My daughter Demonica is one smart girl. She’s got a good head on her shoulders.” Coming from my dad, this was a shocker. I always was under the impression that he thought I was irresponsible and a little daft. I almost cried when I heard about it.
People say I have a very attractive face, but I don’t see it. They also think I’m really nice, but I don’t think that I am - I’m actually kind of a bitch, but I keep my mouth shut.
I’ve been told that I’m emotionally tough. I went through a pretty heartbreaking divorce about 7 years ago, and then an even sadder breakup with my exboyfriend a few months back. I kept my chin up and tried to be positive, but nobody saw my emotional breakdowns in private. I took it as a great compliment that people thought I was strong.
It’s kind of insulting, but I’m glad to know. I’m more aware of it than I used to be and I make a conscious effort to shut my mouth more often. Silences make me kind of nervous, and I feel compelled to fill them, instinctively, but now I resist the urge and try to wait for someone else to speak first.
I’m very good at figuring out what needs to be done and then setting out to get it done even in moments of what feel to me like stressful panic. (According to my wife.)
I’m very insightful and put together seemingly unrelated pieces of information to derive conclusions and suggest highly workable plans of action (i.e. I’m a very attentive listener) (According to my best friend)
I radiate stillness, calm and certainty and am a comforting presence to simply be around (according to another very close friend).
Personally I think I just pay as close attention as possible to the people and events around me and try not to over-react to anything, but if these people I love and admire want to make these traits out to be more than I think they are, I’m also vain enough not to disabuse them of their perceptions.
Also, Khadaji, thank you. I honestly think I look pretty good too! I think maybe my clothes may need a tune-up, though. For example, my buddy Maria says I dress like a 12-year-old boy! :eek: Other friends have supplied descriptions like sloppy college student, teenage biker, and generally scruffy and/or dowdy.
I at least try to clean up well and dress appropriately when I have to. The problem may be that I have a lot of old thrift shop and hand-me-downs from great aunts and people several generations older than I. I think I may have somehow crossed the line from Cool Vintage to Weird Old Person Clothes.
We’ll see. As I said, I need to look in my closet and really think about this.
I stir my coffee too loud. I didn’t realize. A roommate went off on me one time. Mildly. But, it turned out I do stir my coffee more than it needs to be. I never noticed, but I’ll stand there stirring, clink, clink, clink, until my roommate hit the bursting point. I hadn’t noticed I over-stir my coffee.
My other roommate at the time countered with his microwave usage. A normal person just hits the “minute” button, or maybe punches the time in “one three zero.” He, somehow, would sit there going “beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep” until he got the time right. We teased him it’s not a calculator and he isn’t doing his math homework on the microwave.
That I have a nice speaking voice. This always surprises me. When I happen to hear it–like when I get my home recording on the phone–it sounds nasal and sort of childish to me. But more than one person has mentioned it.
Also a couple of people have remarked on my fashion sense. Favorably, that is. My what? I always consider it a bonus if I get to work and my shoes match.
After a meeting that I led one day, a co-worker looked at me admiringly and said, “You’re very discerning.” Admittedly, I had to look up the definition, but I was really flattered. All along, I just thought that I’m the kind of person with low tolerance of BS.
I was recently told third-hand that someone said about me, “I’ve known rucci for years. She can really hold her own.” And here I feel like I’m struggling just to barely keep my head above water…at least someone’s impressed.
P.S. Where might one go about looking for a picture of Zebra?
Once, a long time ago, my best friend told me that I rarely made eye contact. I’m better at it now, but still have to work on it.
Same friend once told me that I’m the most open-minded person he knew. My brother said that I was complex. Two of my favorite compliments from two of my favorite people.
I run funny, and am thinner than I think. I also tend to be tensed up, especially my shoulders and chin. And I’m odd, but what I notice and say seems obvious and normal to me, though I suppose that’s true of everyone.
I too apparently speak English (my native tongue, never been outside the US) with a non-American accent, but to be honest, I still don’t hear it in myself. I also would think of myself as being of average height, were it not for people saying I’m tall.
Same here. I’ve been told I’m everything from charismatic to intimidating to downright scary. I have no idea how - I’m almost pathologically shy IRL.
Not something that’s ever been told to me, but I came to realize that I radiate something of a Sucker’s Aura. All panhandlers, junk sellers, bums, charity workers etc… make a beeline for me, even in the middle of a crowd. Never fails.
According to one of my friends from high school, I don’t simply walk into a room. I STALK into it as if I own the place, and glare around in an intimidating manner. I was not aware of this. No one else has ever mentioned it…
One of my close friends has been going through a difficult time and making some bad decisions and just generally getting herself into shit lately. At some point she decided to become part of an escort service and told us only after she’d been doing it for a while and was about to quit. I was discussing this with two other friends who knew about it a while later - I’ll call them Tom and Daisy. Tom said that if Daisy ever got into that line of work, he would do everything he could to put a stop to it because he didn’t think she would know what she’d be getting herself into. Then he said that if I turned to prostitution he’d trust that I knew what I was doing and would let me get on with it and wouldn’t worry about me because apparently I can take care of myself. I didn’t really know how to respond to that. :eek:
This same friend was telling me yesterday that he has gone through his whole life believing he looked like any other caucasian kiwi guy despite no one believing upon meeting him that he is from New Zealand. His dad was an orphan, so he doesn’t actually know his origins. It occurred to him only recently that all those people who refused to believe he is from here might actually have done so because he doesn’t look like he is from here.
I don’t generally get a whole lot of compliments, but I have been told by a few different people that I have a sexy voice.
Unfortunately, I was also told once at a social gathering that I was so quiet that I could be “one of those serial killers.” It’s always nice to be compared to a serial killer in front of a dozen or so people.
Mine is that I am aloof and unapproachable to single men that could possibly date me. I’m a flirt so I assumed that was the impression but apparently if there’s a chance I could date you I am scary and mean. Not sure if it’s something I want to change.
Apparently, I can be “intimidating.” Which is weird because I’m very insecure and not at all self-confident. I guess I project intimidation to protect myself.
