Do you ever wonder how you come across to other people? And then suddenly something will happen and you’ll get some insight into how other people see you? And it’s kind of wacky?
Recently, after a shopping trip with two unruly teenagers, I found out that I’m really, really frikin’ scary - at least in person.
I had no idea - I agreed to take these two kids shopping as a favour to my friend. She was concerned that they were going to act up, but they didn’t. Totally well behaved, polite, tried on everything I told them too, etc, etc.
When I told her she said she wasn’t actually surprised because both of them were terrified of me. Then she added that most people that we both know are terrified of me, and SHE was actually terrified of me when we first met.
Huh. I had no idea. I mean, I know that people are terrified of my dad, and I know that I’m JUST like my dad, but…
I had no idea.
I’m really not very big, or very mean, actually.
So - what have you recently found out about yourself? <–(unscary smile)
(I’m assuming that the couple of dopers I’ve met will now rush in here to say that I’m not scary at all. )
I discovered that I can intimidate small children…
At children’s former babysitter/friend, picking up my kids. One of the younger kids (Step-daughter to the babysitter) was acting up instead of eating. Her Mom was wiped out; completely exhausted by the kids that day. She was collapsed in the living room with a friend I had never met.
I saw the problems through the doorway, walked into the dining room when I heard the babysitter behind me whisper “Watch this” to her friend.
I opened the door and dialed up my ‘command voice’. “Megan, knock it off!”
Little Megan sat down instantly. She picked up her fork and began eating. A perfect little angel.
Her Mom says “He’s the only person I know who can do that.”
Nope - no enjoyment at all. It was to get them kitted out for my friends wedding - nasty itchy formal clothes that both of them were gonna hate and never wear again if at all possible.
People are terrified of my dad because of his “presence” - at least that’s how it’s been described to me.
He’s 5’5, about 130, not tough guy looking at all. He retired from the military after 38 years as a Lt. Col. Every guy I’ve ever dated has been terrified of him (and told me) - big huge guys. My mom’s brothers - all over 6’ were terrified of him when they met him - convinced he was going to “mess them up”. He makes shop girls cry, totally by accident (and is always horrified).
Obviously I don’t find him scary - he’s my dad - but all my friends both male and female have found him intimidating as hell.
I am a lady alice. I’m 5’8" and weigh about 140. Not big, not scary looking (I have the normal number of eyes, noses and mouths).
Friend said that when she first met me she was scared shittless because I have a “presence”. Now, where have I heard THAT before? Seriously, I had no idea. Although it does explain why I don’t get asked out on very many dates.
Well, obviously I don’t know having neither children or cats of my own. They grumbled about it a awful lot but I suppose they COULD have enjoyed themselves…
However, before the shopping day both of them approached my friend about how terrified they were of me. Apparently she told them not to misbehave because all of their worst fears about me were true.
If you ever watched much of the Brady Bunch, you know that they had a sweet maid named Alice just like you. Alice was basically a member of the family and sweet but a bit of a pushover. After several seasons, it was time for Alice to take a vacation but the Brady’s weren’t really set up to deal without 24/7 staff even considering Mrs. Brady didn’t have a job so Alice got her cousin Emma to fill in while she was away. Now, Emma looked almost exactly like Alice but she was a retired Army Sergeant and didn’t take anything from anyone. She had the Brady Bunch backed in a corner from moment one and had the house more ship-shape than ever and even forced them to do some morning calisthenics.
That may be what everyone is talking about. It isn’t about physical stature but projected attitude and determination.
I learned a few years back that I am a citizen of a second country – which means I didn’t know this until I was maybe 40. Born and raised in America, but by virtue of my father’s Irish birthplace and Irish law, I am also an Irish citizen, entitled to an Irish passport, which I haven’t bothered to get. My dad told me this and I didn’t believe him. I called the Irish embassy in Washington to verify it, and they did. Which also means I can live and work anywhere in the European Community without worrying about stuff like work visas. Though some others tell me that’s not much of an obstacle over there in any case.
When I found this out, I had been living without health insurance for quite a few years. And I had this sudden vision that should I become terribly ill – so long as I could hold it together to survive a plane flight to Ireland, I could throw myself on the mercy of their socialized healthcare system. Of course I had no idea of the quality of care I would have gotten, but for a while the idea was my conceptualized version of catastrophic health insurance.
I recently came to an epiphany that maybe having hearing aids hasn’t been entirely the limiting disablement that I’ve always thought. There may be a good thing to come out of what I’ve long thought of as an irreperable inadequacy.
My niece was at my house playing the sims and she said she had a sim that reminded her of me. I was sort of flattered until she showed me the sim.
She had short red hair (my hair isn’t short and isn’t red) glasses (don’t really wear glasses), and a sort of prissy dress on. She lived in a sad little house with just a sofa and a little table.
She said she acted like me more than she looked like me. It was a little depressing, and still have no idea what to make of it.
So what I found out about myself is that I’m sort of prissy and boring. I guess to a 12 year old I am!
I was walking my dog last night, and passed a middle aged German woman walking her dog. We paused to let the dogs say hello. She told me, “I could tell your dog would be friendly, because dogs always take after their masters, and you have a very gentle demeanor.”
I don’t quite follow the logic, but it was nice of her to say.
One of my students (aged six) was eating lunch with me, and appropos of nothing he suddenly grabbed me by the arm and asked, “Miss B, why are you so old?”
After I stopped laughing, I told him it was because I was born a long time ago. He was satisfied with the answer and went back to eating his sandwich.
<–(unscary smile)
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