What would they never guess by looking?

This thread is inspired by my slippers.

I am, I’ve been told, a big scary guy. I weigh well over 200 lbs, and can bench press well over what I weigh. I have stopped three guys from robbing me by looking at them. People regularly ask me why I’m so pissed off when, as far as I can tell, I’m smiling. I’ve bounced a drunken oil rig worker who wanted to fight my boss while looking pretty much straight up into his face to maintain eye contact, and taken a knife away from a man who wanted to stab me with it. I have a shaved head and three large gauge ear piercings, at an age where I’m obviously not going through an adolescent rebellion phase.

I also own a pair of slippers. They’re teddy bear slippers.


If the link is working, you’ll have an idea of what I’m talking about.

I like my teddy bear slippers. I bought them myself. If you saw me on the street, you would probably not guess that I owned them. It was not an ironic purchase, I just like them.

What’s the thing in your life that nobody who saw you pass by them in the mall would ever guess?

Oh, any number of things, really. My martial arts training, unless I get into a discussion about it, doesn’t show much. My sexuality, I am told, is almost invisible unless, again, I talk about it or make a comment if I feel comfortable doing so.

You would also not guess, simply from looking at me, that I am Soylent Green.

iamphnha- Same here, with the training.

  • Soylent Green is 'punha! It’s 'punha! Soylent green is… 'puuuuunaaaaa…*

Most folks wouldn’t guess that I’m a touch sociopathic. People are always dismissive when it comes up in discussions… “Oh, you wouldn’t REALLY do that.” Wanna Bet?

I’m not the kind of person who looks like they’re into odd sexual things (light bondage, rape simulation, voyeurism…). At least, I don’t think so.

Apparently, most people wouldn’t guess that I’m 31 years old. I met an interesting gal (in person) recently, we chatted for a while, and I asked for her phone number.

“I think you’re a little young for me,” she said.

“Wha? How old do you think I am?”

“What, maybe 22?”

“I’m 31. You might be young for me.”

She got all confused-looking and left shortly afterward. Sigh.

That I model for art classes and photographers. Arty stuff.

That I used to have purple hair and that I once spent a day being a “street artisan” at Venice Beach. (I emphasize—it was one day.)

That I used to weigh somewhere around 102 lbs when I was 17 and 5’8". Not an eating disorder- Just the result of being a VERY poor art school student who partied too much. (I am 25 now, same height, and weigh a completely average amount.)

Also that I’m actually pretty conservative- politically and in lots of other ways. (I definitely don’t LOOK conservative.):wink:

That I’ve been tap-dancing for 15 years. I’m overweight and very straight-looking (I wear skirts and dresses to work, completely voluntarily).

Of course, if you’d noticed my ears were triple-pierced, you might have had an inkling I’m not quite exactly as straight as I appear…

My true age is one thing that few people guess. I often get “But you must have just graduated from High School!” No, I’m 28, but thank you for playing.

From first glance, most people wouldn’t guess that I’m bi, or that I’m as sexually explorative as I am. That one has thrown quite a few people for a loop when I’ve begun talking about my past.

And many people are surprised to find out that one of my favorite bands is Queensryche. I guess I just don’t look like an Operation: MindCrime kinda girl. :wink:

[sub]But I’m sure they would all think I had teddy bear slippers. They’d be wrong, of course, but that’s what they would guess![/sub]

Hardly anyone guesses English hasn’t always been my first language. Also, I seem to have the air of a good little girl, as no-one’s failed to be surprised at the revelation I’m a slash writer.

People are generally unaware that I’m basically an introverted conservative.

:confused: I’m confused. Is there something about having triple-pierced ears that marks you as possibly “not quite as straight?” Until recently, I had triple-pierced ears, and thought it marked me as someone who liked earrings. Was I sending out signals of some kind, unbeknownst to myself?

genie – I use “straight” in the old, '60s, you’re either on the bus or off the bus, sense – no reference to sexual preference. Most plump, middle-aged middle-management types are “straight” in that sense.

Oh yeah, I traveled the U.S. as a carnival worker. And I have a Masters Degree in Music.

I’m almost always mistaken for a person much younger than I am. Although now that the gray hairs are starting to appear, I’m not sure how much longer that one will last.

Nobody ever gets my true fagginess. I don’t hide it, but I guess people expect mincing or something, I don’t know. It probably has to do with the fact that I’m pretty ‘bear’-ish and usually act fairly businesslike in most settings.

People don’t have any idea that as an engineer, I have a creative side as well.

About 98% of the people I know don’t know that I almost committed suicide over the summer and was really depressed for about 6 years. I was pretty good at hiding it, I guess. Also, I can speak English, French, and Creole. Oh yeah, I can move my eyes independently too. That’s about it though.

No one ever guesses that I’m an “O” blood type, unless I happen to mention it in casual conversation.

Nobody ever realizes that I’m both shy and insecure, because it’s kind of situational. And I’m not shy around people I know.

Like others the age thing, ppl generally think I am younger than I really am, that my strength is what it is, they think I am weaker except when I am lifting heavy objects and where I am from is guessed wrong as well.

Weight (more than assumed), age (less than assumed), and sexuality(more diversity than assumed… boys are hot, but girls are pretty!), to start. No one beleive that my hair color is real (true auburn, for anyone who cares). And, to get a bit dark, no one knows how much the world scares the crap out of me, or the number of times a day I think about violence and death (much to my dismay). My feelings get hurt really easily, but I cover it up, and obsess about it forever (I’m still smarting over the small-eyes comment my friend made 2 years ago… they’re perfectly normal).

back to fun stuff… that I have a twin brother, that I identify with a billion sub-cultures… That I am going through a faith crisis but still identify with Christianity, even though I’m really liberal (politically)…