Leaving doors open. I didn’t get it as a kid, but I sure do now!
I’m right with you on most of this, but who cares how somebody else holds their fork? How does that affect you?
Cleanliness in general. My mom always insisted on me cleaning up my things and keeping things organized and I was like “Why? I know where everything is.”
Now I’m nutty about keeping the house relatively clean. I do the dishes or make the Tashaboy do them when there’s a half sinkful. He’s like “Why not wait until there’s more?” And I’m like “Then we’ll be like ‘Oh wow, that’s a lot of dishes - I’ll wait.’ And it’ll never get done!”
I get it more and more now. Oh, Mom, you were right.
~Tasha
My dad took me driving around our block when I first got a learner’s permit.
He kept saying “You’re too close to the parked cars!” After about 2 blocks he made me let him drive and we practiced on vacant country roads.
Only after I’d been out with my driver’s ed class did I realize that in subdivisions there was no way to avoid the parked cars except by going over the center of the road. When a car approached one of them had to pull to the side and wait. At that point I checked and realized that by trying to avoid the center, I had been mere inches from the parked cars.
Most of the stuff I didn’t get from my parental units 40 years ago I still don’t get. I still leave my clothes on the floor, still leave the lights on, have the TV going in multiple rooms at the same time, only do dishes when I can’t stand it or the cleaning ladies are coming, etc.
But the one thing I do get now is kind of like stuyguy’s epiphany but slightly different. I never understood why my Mom wanted me to be such a princess when I was growing up. She was always into me and the Shirly Temple (wtf do you call them: sausage curls?) hair-do stuff, frilly dresses, patten? leather shoes, barbies etc. I HATED ALL OF IT. :mad: I was more of a tomboy than any of my 4, count them 4, brothers. I routinely beat the crap out of all them, younger and older. I absolutely couldn’t understand why she was so angry with me all the time.
It took me 30+ years to figure it out, duhhh. She lived in a household of guys with one potential Ally (me) who totally refused to get with the program. I thought she was persecuting me and she thought???
It wasn’t until I had a daughter of my own that it all became clear. I tried to give my darling everthing I wanted when I was a kid: overalls, keds, t-shirts, rough and tumble. She wanted to wear dresses to school…everyday, even in pre-school, and couldn’t wait to wear make-up. :eek: This was the daughter my Mom had always wanted, guess it skips a generation. Luckily I learned my lesson and Sinkid wore her dresses to school everyday. Now she (Sinkid) gives me fashion advice. 
which I sometimes take.
My parents always told me don’t be in a hurry with love. They didn’t stop me from dating but they always tried to make sure that I understood that I had time and I didn’t have to be in a hurry. I didn’t really get it at the time because I wanted to have a boyfriend NOW like everyone else. Then I started dating a guy and we got engaged, and every day he became more and more of a loser. Quit his job, started stealing to get by, sat around getting drunk all day (all of this while I was away at school in another town so it took a while for me to catch on) and when he broke up with me because we were “too different” I still didn’t get it. I didn’t know why he would leave someone who loved him so much. Then a few months later after the sadness passed I finally got what they were trying to tell me! I enjoy dating a lot more now that I am not in a rush to find love and I don’t feel like I need to hold onto someone I am not compatible with simply to avoid being alone. I have never been happier and now I am doing things because it is what I want, not what someone else wants.
He was 18, I was 13—what was the big deal? We were’nt DOING anything. Couldn’t they just trust me? Why couldn’t he pick me up from school in his new Celica? All the other Freshmen girls thought he was dreamy AND he was in college. Come on, what was wrong with his taking me home after school—it wasn’t like anyone was home—he could keep me company.
Wait.
Why didn’t they just hire a hitman? I can’t believe they let him hang around as long as they did. I asked them about this when my daughter was 15 or so and my poor parents explained their strategy, how they wore me down and made that GROWN MAN as difficult to be alone with as possible, finally saying yes to vocal coaching, more advanced piano lessons, tennis, concert choir, having neighbors call if his car was parked in front of our house, taking great family trips.
Would’ve been cheaper to hire a hitman, but I don’t remember that GROWN MAN so much as how busy and fun high school was.
Just my guess here…but I figure that someone who’s holding a fork like a shovel is probably using it like one, too. (I’ve seen people do that–grasp the fork in their fist and lean their head down and shovel the food right in. UGH!)
Cell-phone usage, and trying to be frugal with minutes (they sure add up over a month!)
For a while, I had a cell phone through my mom’s plan. since it was so inexpensive to have, she paid for mine, but told me to only use it sparingly/in emergencies. I thought it was kind of pointless to have a phone and never use it because you are fretting about using it too much.
One month I went over my allotted minutes and my mom went through the roof when she saw the bill (can’t remember what it was). I offered to pay it, but oh no, she wasn’t having any of that- it would have somehow absolved me of guilt/responsibility. Better I feel guilty I am burdening a single mother than learn my lesson by paying my own damn bill.
My current residence has no land line, so my cell is my primary phone now. I am usually pretty good at using it during ‘non peak’ hours but had been rather chatty during lunch breaks at work with my girlfriend. Very ironic moment happened a few months ago. While my girlfriend was visiting, I opened up my phone bill.
Incubus: TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS?! WHAT THE HELL?!
Girlfriend: What, is that a lot? (her parents pay her cell phone bill)
Incubus: Yes it’s a lot! Its almost 4x what it normally is. I went WAY over my minutes!
Girlfriend: Well, I could always pay it for you, since it was mostly from calling me…
Incubus: NO! :mad:
God damn my mother and her lessons of cell-phone responsibility 
When I was 15, my dad would persistently remind me not to fall in love too quickly, to be cautious, to use my head in judging girls’ virtuous qualities, etc.
I didn’t understand what he was talking about, I wasn’t comfortable talking about it with him, I didn’t like being judged and condecended to, I trusted my own good sense, and so I spent the next few decades trying to prove him too conservative, out of touch with his emotions, and just plain wrong.
A wise and thoughtful man, my dad. His wisdom might have been summed up in A. E. Housman’s poem “When I was One-and-Twenty”, except it took me a lot longer than one year to understand his point.
“Who keeps messing with the AC vents?!!?!?” (in the car)
I understand now, dad. sorry.
I’m single, no kids, but I’m my parents’ Carer - which is the equivalent of having two giant sized 2 year olds in the house. D’Mother spent most of my childhood going ballistic at me for one thing or another, I didn’t get it then, and I still don’t get it… #1 was screaming at me to eat everything she put on my plate at mealtimes. I have a somewhat delicate constitution and spent a lot of my youth puking, so there were a lot of foods I couldn’t eat. Didn’t matter to herself, scream scream scream scream scream. Now that I’m chief cook and bottle washer I’ve discovered my Da has the ‘zact same constitution as me and he can’t eat 999,999 things. Don’t remember her ever screaming at him tho’…
I was a stupid, naive kid, replaced now by a slightly less stupid, not-very-naive adult.
[ul]
[li]Not understanding why my parents wouldn’t let me stay overnight at the hotel when I went to meet Metallica, or why they were ticked when I went to concert without tickets. The roadies or band would let us in. “What was the big deal,” Sez I. “There are a ton of willing girls that are older than me, why would they attack the one unwilling 15 year old?” Hmmm, I guess it never occurred to me that some guys get off on that very thing![/li][li]Why can’t I wear a micro-mini and knee high boots to school? (Hooker Junior High)[/li][li]Why can’t I go and hang out with my ten guy friends drinking while there are no adults home? I’m almost fifteen, don’t you trust me?[/li][li] So what if they guy I am dating is 23 and I am 13, he seems very nice - wait, don’t call the cops![/li][/ul]
Sometimes I can’t believe I made it through unscathed. I always looked older and dressed like some kind of biker whore. It’s a miracle.
Um…am I missing something? This seems to be nearly the exact opposite of what the OP was looking for. 
I’m a picky eater, but I never understood what a pain in the ass I was until I tried to invite another picky eater to dinner. I thank my parents for their patience.
My mother always used to tell my brother and I to ‘put your face right!’ That is, if we were scowling or pulling a face, that had to be righted to a more neutral expression. I never understood it at the time. Now, I see some of my friends with little regard for what expression they’re carrying and what message it sends and I know why guys avoid them when we go out. Why? Because they’re frowning or scowling or sneering! I also had one friend who couldn’t keep her tongue in her mouth, it was quite offputting to always see it lolling around, without any reason.
For me, it wasn’t the parents. It was the roommates. I was the biggest slob throughout college and up until grad school. Then I was given 30 days to get out by my roommate/landlord for being messy. In my defense, I wasn’t really that messy. He had other issues. Besides, I had just been accepted for grad school and was moving out in less than 30 days anyway. But I digress. But then I went off to another town and suddenly I was the neat roommate. I would bitch at my new roomies for letting dishes ferment in the sink (no washer). I would ask them to do a little cleaning and made myself a pain. Now days, I realize how neat they were. Because I have since had a roomie who didn’t need a carpet in his room because not a square inch of the floor was ever visible.
I like living alone now.
First a slight hijack- maybe you can explain this to me.
My dad has this big tall glass that he uses occasionally. It’s not special. It’s just a glass. A few times like two years ago, when I was feeling lazy and didn’t want to wash a glass and just wanted some water or something, I used it. And then I washed it carefully and put it back where it belongs.
he FREAKED OUT. Went totally ballistic. I didn’t see the big deal- I mean, it’s not like he couldn’t use it or like I had germs or I had misplaced it or not cleaned it or not cleaned it well. I just used it.
He freaked out so much that now, every two weeks or so, he gets in my face all, “YOU USED MY GLASS AGAIN!!! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO DO THAT!!!” when nobody’s touched his stupid glass.
so, adult dopers? will I understand this when I get older?
what I do understand now:
When I was a little kid with littler sisters, I absolutely resented the fact that every time it was a matter of what I want vs. what one of my sisters wants, I lost. After babysitting a lot, I realized it wasn’t entirely a matter of being the least favorite child or not being little and cute… it was because it’s just easier to let the baby have her way. (as a result of being the oldest child, though, I go out of my way to never ever give her the short end of the stick just because the baby cries louder.)
Also, I remember babysitters refusing to let us do things that we were allowed to do- like let me go outside and play by myself when I was six- and I thought it was so dumb. I mean, I knew I was allowed to go out and play on my own! But now I realize- the babysitter doesn’t necessarily know that and, even if she does, she doesn’t want the parents to come home to an injured or missing child.
You will understand that kids have a tendency to break and/or lose stuff willy-nilly. I imagine he doesn’t want anyone to touch it for fear it will be the last time he ever sees it in one piece. Although bringing it up over and over again does seem a little over the top. He may also be reacting to the reality of having kids…nothing is ever your own again. Even my two-year-old gets this…HER stuff is “mine,” OUR stuff is “mommy & daddy’s & mine.” It can be a little aggravating.
As a child, whenever the family would go grocery shopping, there was always a moment when we were all carrying the bags of groceries into the house and one of us kids would pull something out of a bag and ask, “Can I open this?” My father would issue a heavy sigh, and, while rolling his eyes, reply, “Go ahead, we bought it to eat.”
I could never understand his exasperation. Yes, we surely did buy the food so it could be eaten, didn’t we? We were being polite and asked permission. What was the big deal?
Then I went away to college and my first apartment. I took my meager $23 to the grocery store and bought what I could to last the week. When I brought my few purchases home and arranged them sparsely on my pantry shelf I stood back an imagined what it would feel like to have a ravenous 14 year old in the house and I at once understood my father.
It had his contact lenses in it.