From my Grandfather: “You can wish in one hand and piss in the other - and you know which one will fill first?”
and
From my Father: “Swish the milk around in your mouth before you swallow it to pre-digest it.”
48
From mom:
“If you don’t have time to do it right, you certainly won’t have time to do it over.”
From dad (about arguing with a spouse):
“You can be right, or you can be happy, but not both.”
I’m 45
From my Dad, to anyone who asked him how to survive war or how to get through West Point:
“Never miss a chance to take a piss, take a nap, or keep your mouth shut.”
“What your brain forgets, your feet make up.”
Mom used to say that whenever I complained about failed to get/do something on my previous trip to the kitchen/bathroom/bedroom. I still hear it in my head, and I’m in my late 40’s. It’s true, but I still want to scream when I find myself thinking it.
She says she got it from her grandmother.
From my dad: Do a job well or not at all.
From my mom: Shut up or I’ll give you something to really cry for.
I’m sure my mom said some good things, but the above is the only one I still remember.
5 then
65 now
My Dad told me that if I ever get lost in the woods, start Jacking off. Someone will be sure to walk up on you.
I never asked him if that was the voice of experience.
And THIS is a great laugh to start my week off right. Thank you
My dad’s favorite saying: “Stupid is forever. Ignorance can be fixed.”
My favorite one is once I was down and out and my mom said “Son This Will Pass”
that happend at 18yrs old…tomorrow i will be 50
My favorite one is once I was down and out and my mom said “Son This Will Pass”
that happend at 18yrs old…tomorrow i will be 50.
and my dear old dad who spent 21 yrs in the air force and it stuck with him to…like a drill Sargent he would demand that I “Police this yard immediately” or if he saw me doing something wrong it was a “Son Cease and Desist immediately”
After I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks my dad hugged me and said,“well, you can chalk up another one of life’s experiences.” I took that to mean that life comes with adversities and you will get through them.
I don’t have a soundbite, but every time I use a public bathroom it reminds me of my parents’ advice to always wipe the seat beforehand. Not only for the obvious reason of cleaning it, but because it ensures you find out in advance if there is actually any paper.
I’m sure that’s not the only nor the most useful piece of advice they’ve ever given me, but it’s certainly come in useful on more than one occasion.
My father gave me a lot of advice about sex, almost all of which was wrong, but one thing he said did stick with me.
“Never go to bed with someone you don’t want to wake up with.”
You can’t learn any younger.
There are a lot of people in the world. Some of them you aren’t going to like. Some of them aren’t going to like you. And sometimes you’re going to have to work with those people.
Dad turned 43 the year I was born so he didn’t have the energy to do the usual Dad stuff (e.g.: teach how to throw or how to fight) but he did teach me to play cards. Blackjack, Gin Rummy, and Cribbage.
Growing up, Dad was fond of quoting lyrics from “Show Me the Way to Go Home”. I’m now of the same age as he was then and often find myself echoing him.
Dad on keys and working: “The more keys you have, the more important you are.” I added, “and the less you get paid.”
Mom, the night before I left for basic training (paraphrased): “Don’t get involved with prostitutes.”
From my dad:
“Shit stinks - and when you stir it up, it gets worse.”
Crude, but I have found this to be invariably true.
From my dad:
You rights end where other peoples begin.
And some medical advice:
If you sit on cold concrete, you will get hemorrhoids.
From both parents. “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.”
“If we weren’t meant to pick our noses, then why do we have fingernails?” – my father, circa 1992 (I was 16).
He may have said things that were wiser, more insightful or more useful, but damned if that one doesn’t stick out the most in my memory.
Born 1966.
From my dad: “Life isn’t meant to be fair”, “never be indispensable in your job, if you make yourself indispensable you can’t be promoted” , “I’ll tell your mother!” , “Red heads are more fun and in less demand” , “You decide how you feel, nobody ‘makes’ you” and “think of the outcome you want first”.
From my mum: “If she did that to him, she’ll do it to you” (negative stuff only!) and “I’ll tell your father!”.