Things you've learned from roadtrips

In My Humble Opinion
21

  1. Being the driver is more fun than being the passenger. As the driver you have more control over where / when to stop and what music to play.

  2. It is possible to cross the US in 3 days but it is much more fun to do it in 9 or 10.

  3. When driving through North West Arizona where the road cuts through beautiful red / orange canyons, try playing the music of Carl Stalling (of Warner Bros. cartoons fame) for a really surreal time.

  4. It’s better to pull over, take a nap and arrive a little later than it is to keep driving, fall asleep at the wheel and never arrive at all.

  5. If your snack of choice is powdered donuts and you’ve brought a whole bunch with you in a large ziploc baggie and eaten them all before you get to the Canadian border, toss out the bag before you get to customs.

6 Have you dug Wall Drug?

22

  1. When the guy at the rental car company in Dusseldorf, Germany tells you that it’s really easy to get to Paderborn by taking one road, he’s lying.

  2. When you get lost driving alone through a foreign country, you will thank your lucky stars you decided to go ahead and buy that phrasebook.

23

-An empty milk-carton does NOT make a good urinal.

-No matter WHERE you are, people will point and giggle at your Zubaz pants.

-If you’re going from the US into a Mexican border town, park your car on the US side and walk across.

-When someone in a Mexican border town tells you that they don’t speak english, they’re lying.

-A few dollars worth of coins will come in handy.

-If you even THINK that you’re going through any scenic areas, a pair of binoculars are required.

-Save the beer for AFTER you arrive or are in for the night.

-Burn your own CD’s for the trip

-As an alternate to music, AudioBooks are great!

-Don’t order iced tea in New England in the winter… all you’ll get are funny looks.

-Whenever you get gas, check the air pressure in your tires.

-Get a tune-up and oil-change before you go. If you’re driving cross country and back, get another oil change before returning.

-Carry a few gallons of water in clean containers when crossing any stretch of desert.

-In downtown Harlan KY, the sun doesn’t rise before 10am, and sets around 3pm.

-A water-park is a GREAT way to blow off an entire day from driving.

-Room-service pizza isn’t worth it.

-When in the south, eat at least one praline.

-Find our if there’s a(n) A or AA baseball team near your stop for the night, and go take in a game. The same applies for arena football, minor league hockey, women’s football, etc.

-Bar-b-que is different everywhere you go in the U.S. Sometimes it’s a noun and sometimes it’s a verb. Every restuarant that serves it claims to have the “Real Thing”. Don’t argue with them.
But DO try some!

24

Even in this modern day and age, small children can last for an eight-hour car ride with no Gameboy of any kind AND no portable VCR/TV combo. It may sound like a miracle, but it’s true.

McDonald’s Playland is better than no playground at all.

Always bring drinks with easily-closed tops. Especially for aforementioned small children.

At 4:30am, a roast beef sandwich and chocolate shake from Rax in Ohio is ambrosia.

You cannot get Chicken McNuggets at 9:30am in Breezewood, PA.

If all else fails with the radio, switch to AM and listen to talk radio stations. At the very least, it’s something to concentrate on (and if you hit the right one, scream at) so as to not drift off on long stretches of road.

Florida is very, very flat.

25

Bring at least one cassette/CD of music that is easy to sing along to. Louis Prima and Bobby Darin are good choices for this.

Local talk radio can be a source of infinite amusement.

There are no real Stuckey’s any more. You cannot get a pecan milkshake at any of the woeful convenience-store candy counters that pass themselves off as the real thing.

The pecan log rolls, however, have remained the same.

Stop at every state border rest stop and get a map of the state you’re entering.

While there, use the bathroom even if you don’t feel like you have to.

26

Connecticut is a very long state. So is Virginia and Pennsylvania.

When driving through New York in your pajamas, obey all local speed limits, no matter how screwed up they are. (Ex: Long windy mountain road=50 mph. Straight shot road=30 mph)

Drag racing with 18 wheelers is not always a smart idea.

Motel 6’s will not rent rooms to anyone under 21, even if you havent slept in 2 days and just need a nap.

Wearing shirts that allow your tits to hang out at truck stops in the middle of the night isnt always a smart idea either.

Make sure to triple check that you didnt leave your CD collection at home BEFORE you cross the state border. There’s a whole lot of shitty radio stations out there.

Happy meal toys provide hours of entertainment, even if you’re not a kid.

Atlanta=Hell.

Montreal in a rainstorm isnt a pretty sight.

When stopping to get gas in Quebec, be prepared for the fact that very few people will speak english.

No matter what time of day, that big bridge near New Jersey (I wanna say George Washington, but that doesnt seem right) will always be backed with traffic

The trip there will always seem faster than the trip home.

27

Connecticut is a very long state. So is Virginia and Pennsylvania.

When driving through New York in your pajamas, obey all local speed limits, no matter how screwed up they are. (Ex: Long windy mountain road=50 mph. Straight shot road=30 mph)

Drag racing with 18 wheelers is not always a smart idea.

Motel 6’s will not rent rooms to anyone under 21, even if you havent slept in 2 days and just need a nap.

Wearing shirts that allow your tits to hang out at truck stops in the middle of the night isnt always a smart idea either.

Make sure to triple check that you didnt leave your CD collection at home BEFORE you cross the state border. There’s a whole lot of shitty radio stations out there.

Happy meal toys provide hours of entertainment, even if you’re not a kid.

Atlanta=Hell.

Montreal in a rainstorm isnt a pretty sight.

When stopping to get gas in Quebec, be prepared for the fact that very few people will speak english.

No matter what time of day, that big bridge near New Jersey (I wanna say George Washington, but that doesnt seem right) will always be backed with traffic

The trip there will always seem faster than the trip home.

28

radio sucks from california to new jersy.
you cant get decent sleep in my nissan pickup.
america is a beautiful country.
there are alot of nice folks out there everywhere.
cb radio traffic is out of this world. truly bizarre.

29

Car Visor CD holders are the best! Assuming you install them correctly. (Hint - having to flip the visor down on 696 while driving 70+ mph is not recommended)

Speaking of 696 - be alert! Traffic is notorious for going from 70+ to 25 in a blink - for no apparent reason. Passing on the right just before/after a ramp is expected, as is cutting across all lanes of traffic to make the ramp.

Plan on stopping about every hour and a half if you drink a 20-oz soda in 15 min. If you’re already in the metro area - hold it til you get there. There are some exits you probably don’t want to take.

Arby’s Market Fresh Sandwiches - not portable. Try Taco Bell or KFC instead.

On a summer evening on a two-lane road - roll down the windows and sing along with the music at the top of your lungs. If you get light-headed, maybe you’re singing too loud. Or maybe not.

30

I’ve learned that checking this thread before going on my roadtrip helps immeasurably.

31

When preparing to drive from Chicago to Wyoming roundtrip in three days, be sure your driving companion understands there will have to be some driving in the dark.

South Dakota goes on FOREVER!

When stopping for the night in Rochester, Minnesota, make sure the Jehovah’s Witness convention is not in town, thus taking up all the hotel rooms.

Never, ever drive 850 miles to a funeral with your thieving, conniving, manipulative, lying bitch of a younger sister.

If you’ll want to eat real food once in a while, either bring it with, or be prepared to take some mighty long detours. Ditto (usually) for decent coffee.

Make sure you see eye-to-eye on music issues with any driving companions.

32

That’s odd. I stayed in a Motel 6 in January, the night before I turned 19, and I had absolutely no trouble with getting the room.

Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of NASCAR translating into most languages as “hotel rooms for that entire weekend, in every hotel within 300 miles, will either be completely sold out or charge exorbitant rates.”

33

A Whopper is much easier to eat with cheese and without tomatoes while driving.

34

Montana is called the “Big Sky State” 'cause they’re trying to distract you from how ugly the stuff below the sky is. (And it goes on forever too.)

Adjust the seat so that your crotch angle is just right for holding that beverage of choice. (64 Valiants don’t come with cup holders.)

Don’t flash your brights at the lead car. Especially if it’s a 55 Chevy with a weak u-joint. And if you’re 10 miles out of Juntura. And it’s 2am.

In the western US, taking the two lane US highways is usually ok. Not such a good idea in the east. Ditto “scenic highways”.

35

• All Days’ Inns take pets. They just charge you an extra $10 or $20. Corporate policy.

• When in Radio Voids, there’s always NPR. But try to keep tapes or CDs in the car, just in case. Extra long road trips require new mix tapes/CDs to be made.

• Way more than half the fun is getting there.

• Puppies get carsick.

• Cats on long road trips should be sedated.

• Florida is, indeed, very very flat. And that thing hanging off the Big Ass in the Sky at Gaffney, SC (I-85)… I think it’s a hemmrhoid. (spelling dubious)

• It took years to figure out, but I finally witnessed Smoke Fog personally and can positively identify it. But I’m not telling you – you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.

• Females traveling alone in Kentucky should dress modestly.

• Practicing your Southern accent on your way to Florida really comes in handy whilst trying to get decent service in Southern restaurants and stores.

• I-10 from Tallahassee to New Orleans is nothing but pine trees and Mobile. But if you listen to the radio, you could be Saved three or four times along the way, at least.

• Honda del Sols do not do well on non-paved roads. Especially dirt.

• When driving in the South, with a pet in the car, always bring your spare set of keys. When you take rest stops/potty breaks, leave the engine running with the A/C on. Lock the car with your spare set and don’t forget to set the parking brake.

• In general, truckers are helpful and friendly. A little coarse sometimes, but loads of character. If you treat them with respect from the first green light. If you’re female and at least marginally cute, they may even change tires for you.

36

Driving around Australia is the only way to go (unless your in a hurry)

The county of Bland is appropriately named – wheat fields in every direction as far as the eye can see for 8 hours driving.

As mentioned be careful when driving at Dawn and Dusk – roo’s have a habit of hopping out of nowhere.

Always wear your shoes when getting out of the car, three corner jacks hurt like hell when you stand on them.

Make sure to eat at the local restaurants / take-aways rather than the chain places, the food is usually great and you can meet some interesting people.

Never stop to eat at somewhere that has a tour bus parked out front, the service will take forever.

If you’re near Bathurst make the trip there to drive around the mountain. Conversely – never go to Bathurst when the Big Race is one unless you were planning to be there anyway to see the Holden’s triumph.

Remember if it’s flooded in Dubbo and you need to get to the Gold Coast for your wedding the detour through Sydney is going to take an extra day.

The Cedar ? something restaurant in Narrandera serves the best steak on this earth.

For the price of a cheap (and probably dodgy) hotel room you can stay in a 5 star park cabin at your local caravan park.

Take your time driving and enjoy the sites, be ready to take detours, always stop at driver reviver stops if available. Swap drivers ever 2 hours if you can as this alleviates the boredom and forces you to get out and stretch.

37

Maybe your cats, but my cat does very well on car trips (he rode back with me from California to Illinois), so long as he is free to roam about the car. Mostly he laid in a cardboard box we had sitting on the back seat, but every so often he’d crawl onto the front passenger’s lap and look out that window, then crawl across the dashboard and sit in the driver’s lap (and look out that window). Then he’d return to his cardboard box on the backseat - chattering politely the whole time.

When you lock him up in his transport, he knows he’s going on a short trip (to the vet’s).

38

There is a whole lot of nothing in Middle America. There are whole stretches along I-80 where you could plop the whole state of RI down and not a soul would notice.

Think Florida is flat? I believe I was the tallest structure in the Texas panhandle when I got out of my car to get gas in Texarkana.

I-80 is a long, long road.

If you’re driving through the Sierras in winter, bring chains. Yes, tire chains.

I now know why the Donner party had to resort to cannibalism. They got stuck in traffic at Donner pass.

Yes, there is a “border checkpoint” to get into CA.

Arizona is just like New Mexico, only redder.

Salt Lake City may or may not exist. I drove through the worst fog I’ve ever been in around SLC, and never once saw past the front end of my car. So I have doubts as to its existance.

The Great Salt Flats? FREAKY stuff. I felt like I was on the moon.

If you’re gonna drive cross country twice, with all your worldy possessions in your VW Golf, invest in good tires.

39

when driving with children, classical music will keep them calm and sleepy. Rock music makes them antsy and apt to punch each other. And the rule is the driver can sing anytime she feels like it, especially late at night.

40

[ul]
[li]Look for the offbeat.[/li]
[li]The Desert in Maine is worth the time to get to and see.[/li]
[li]Wall Drug is really neat.[/li]
[li]In a Honda Civic, a 6 CD changer will last about as long as a tank of gas.[/li]
[li]When the speed limit is 75, going 85 will not get you there that much faster.[/li]
[li]When driving from Ohio to Florida, Georgia lasts forever.[/li]
[li]It is incredibly easy to get lost in New Jersey near NYC.[/li]
[li]There are a huge amount of sights to see in SW South Dakota.[/li]
[li]The Cannon Mtn Ski Area in New Hampshire is worth stopping at in the summer time.[/li]
[li]A walking tour of the old city in Quebec is a geat way to see the city.[/li]
[li]When planning on stopping at Williamsport, PA for the night, make sure the Little League World Series is not taking up every hotel room in existance.[/li]
[li]There are signs telling you what exit to take to get to NYC. When you are in Ohio.[/li][/ul]

Oh, and for driving in Australia,

[ul]
[li]In the Red Centre, the camels are as likely to run down the road in front of you as they are to get off of the road.[/li][/ul]