So I wouldn’t be threadshitting, here’s this one. When have you spoken your mind? Here are some of my examples:
In the grocery store—Hey! Would you move your basket? You’re blocking everybody’s way. (They move it.)
To my SIL concerning our MIL—I think you may be the most selfish, pushy and uncaring person I’ve ever met. (Her response was Kiss my ass. The last words we’ve had in twenty years, and I like it.)
To employees who apparently think they’re doing you a favor, and answer your Thank You with No Problem—Who taught you courtesy? not to mention salesmanship. I’m doing YOU a favor by using your services, thereby keeping you in a job. (Them? Still clueless.)
No problem is just as polite as your welcome and they’re doing you a favor by providing you with items you want to buy. Or are you in the habit of purchasing things solely to prop up the store so the cashier has a job?
If they didn’t do you a favor, as you imply, what are you thanking them for? If you say “thank you,” then you either appreciate the favor they did for you, or you’re exchanging a blathering pleasantry. “No problem” is a fine response in either case.
Saying “No problem” is another way of saying “Oh, it was no trouble at all”. How is that discourteous? See, discourtesy would be to say to someone “Hey! Would you move your basket? You’re blocking everybody’s way” instead of just saying “Excuse me, could you move your cart?”
Are you always this outspoken with your opinions? Do you think you are making the world a better place by being rude or condescending to people whom you think are dissing you?
For my first three years of high school, I was in an accelerated program for English and history. We had those two classes as a two-period block, with the same group of students all four years. For my senior year, I was moving and transferring to a different school.
Because this class had the same students and same teacher year in and year out, it was de rigeur at the end of the year for the teacher to give the class summer assignments to be turned in when school came back. As fate had it, on my last day at the school, that class was the last period before the final bell.
We were allowed to choose our own seats in that class - and that day, i’d chosen the seat closest to the door. As the final minutes of the class were coming along, the teacher was still explaining the assignment. Her explanation went long and the final bell rang while she was still talking. Rather than wait for her to finish, I instead kicked my chair out from under me, shouted “SO LONG, SUCKERS!” at the top of my lungs, and bolted out the door never to return.
To this day I consider that my crowning moment of awesome.
I see “no problem” as a more casual/colloquial version of the formal “it was nothing/it was no trouble.” If I’m doing something that’s my job/my duty, thanks from the public are kind but unnecessary; still, I’m more likely to say “it was no trouble” because I’ve heard other people get into a snit over “no problem” - and it is a bit casual.
Mine was when waiting in line with my husband while shopping maybe a week before Christmas. There were a bunch of people in line behind those guide ropes, and one woman approached, looked at the setup, and walked to the next open cashier who was at the “exit” part of the line. My husband spoke up, and calmly said that the line started back there, and she snapped out an “I KNOW!” The cashier closest to her looked browbeaten (I’m sure they dealt with a lot of BS) and I just burst out with, “Wow, someone had Bitch Flakes for breakfast.” I’d meant to be quiet, but it didn’t come out that way. :smack: If my husband had been drinking something he would have done a spit take, and at least one of the cashiers struggled to keep a straight face.
I personally don’t get in a twist when I hear someone say “no problem” to my thank you; but I do think it’s rather lazy. “You’re welcome” is a much ‘nicer’ response.
Oh… and to add my contribution: I used to just stew in anger about the insensitive idiots in movie theaters who don’t realize how distracting simply opening their phone in a darkened theater can be. It happens every single time I go to the movies now. It drives me crazy. You get the first one free. After that, if you’re within ear shot; I’ll call them out and let them know how distracting that is.
I wasn’t a popular kid in high school, but I wasn’t really unpopular either. I was teased a little bit, but for the most part just there.
One day in class when the teacher had stepped out, the most popular kid in our school and some of his friends wrote on the blackboard, calling someone a ‘‘fag.’’ I stood up and read him the riot act. Loudly. I said, ‘‘What the hell is wrong with you? For all you know there is actually someone gay in this classroom and you just made them feel like shit. Do you think it’s fun being socially ostracized? You ought to be ashamed of yourself.’’ He actually looked embarrassed and apologized.
Then there was band. A group of kids at band camp were laughing and bragging about what they did to one of the most tormented kids at the school. They held him down, pulled down his pants and stuck a stick of deodorant in his asscrack. God damn, was I pissed. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I didn’t hold back. In a perfect world, they would have left him alone from then on, but the world is shit and the last time I heard from this guy he said he hated his life and wanted to die.
I was arguing with someone once, I’d asked for help with something and they thought I was bullshitting them. I often run into the problem of being considered smarter than I really am, they were convinced I understood how to do this “simple” thing and didn’t really need my questions answered.
At one point they said “Come on, you were single for 15 years and you’re a homeowner! How could you not understand this simple repair?!”
I said “You’re right, I was single for fifteen years and when shit in my house broke, I’d get it fixed by feeding or fucking someone who knew how to do the repair.”
There was a moment of awkward silence as we both registered what I’d just said. :smack:
Here’s another time I’ve been rude and insensitive. We were in a restaurant and the woman in the booth behind us kept berating her young son for not eating. None of my business, but what she was saying was freaking me out. She was telling him that she was going to drag him to the hospital where they’d stick needles in him and put in a feeding tube. She must have liked this idea she’d hit upon because she kept describing it, in different ways.
I’d just got out of the hospital. Hadn’t had a feeding tube, (that time,) but my nerves were still raw from the experience. Finally I got up and asked if I could talk to her for a minute. We got out of earshot and I told her how much her words were upsetting me, and how they must be upsetting her son, too. I didn’t go into a long speech…I was shaking, partly from my reaction and partly from the fact that I was confronting a stranger. But I do remember saying something about using scare tactics like that on a child. (He was little. What was he going to be thinking about when he had to get vaccinated for school or something?)
Anyway, she blustered for a minute and we both sat back down. Needless to say I’d lost my appetite, but at least she quit yelling at her kid.
I don’t think anybody leaves the house planning on conflict, but sometimes things happen that illicit an unplanned response. And sometimes things build up that just piss you off. IMHO
Guess I’m showing my age here, but I’m more used to people saying things like You’re welcome, or Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with. To me No problem sounds flippant.
I’m convinced that this is something people are trained to hate, like saying “literally” in a figurative sense or talking on a cell phone in public. There’s nothing actually wrong with it, but someone somewhere said “Y’know what I hate?” and others saw it as an opportunity to feel superior in a recreational outrage sort of way.
Incidentally, I find this particular objection annoying in itself, and I wonder if these people would just constantly freak the fuck out while vacationing in Spanish-speaking countries when people respond to their “gracias”.
Becky, how do you feel about “Of course”? “Any time”? “My pleasure”? “It was nothing”?
