That’s it…now we can all blame our parents and grandparents for being fat. Not, the four hamburgers we consumed at McDonalds or the endless hours we sit on our fat asses watching to see who will be voted off of the island. No, no none of those things…just blame your mom. Can’t we all just wrap our heads around the idea that eating less and moving more will combat against our fattness, we must find another excuse for the reasons our thighs touch. So here it is…blame away…for excuses click here
While obviously our consciously chosen behavior does have an impact on weight, I think a lot of factors combine to make things more of a struggle for some people than it is for others. Genetics do clearly play a role in metabolism and body mass - as does upbrining. If you’re raised by fat parents, your idea of “normal” portion sizes and appropriate ways to eat are probably going to be distorted, and it’s hard to overcome such childhood indoctrination. But there’s even more to it than that.
I used to be morbidly obese. I’ve lost 160 pounds since then. I believe that my sense of satiety after meals was dysfunctional before…thankfully I was able to get lap-band surgery so now I feel satisfied after a normal amount of food (and I feel very blessed to have had access to an effective treatment for my condition). However, I’ll never forget what it was like being so fat and miserable, so I have a lot of empathy for those who are still fat.
Something that a lot of naturally thin people don’t realize is that, once you’re morbidly obese, it becomes a vicious cycle that’s hard to escape. It’s hard to find the motivation to exercise when it is exhausting and physically painful (which it is, for most severely obese people). Not to mention it can be embarrassing to try to exercise in front of other people if you’re large. My mother is still morbidly obese and, due to her arthritis, I’ve tried to encourage her to go swimming, but she’s too afraid to get into a swimsuit and head on down to a public pool because she thinks everyone will judge her.
Adding onto that, morbidly obese people often are very depressed and self-loathing, thanks to the messages society sends them about how disgusting and worthless they are. When food seems like your one friend in the world, the one place where you can find pleasure without judgement, it is very hard to find motivation to stick with the long, slow process of dieting. When losing 20 or even 50 pounds is a drop in the bucket, and you’re still massively obese even after such a loss, it’s hard to stay motivated in the face of what seems like little progress externally.
Obesity is far more complex than just “Put the burger down, fatty!”. I look forward to the era of better treatments for obesity, and more compassion for those who suffer from it.
Now taking bets on:
a) “You didn’t suddenly wake up looking like that, did you?”, post in the top 10.
b) “It’s a glandular problem!”, in the top 20.
c) “It’s not glandular for most obese people!”, in the top 30.
d) “Look, it’s calories in minus calories out…”, in the top 40.
e) “All my joints hurt!”, in the top 20
f) “Suck it up and exercise!”, in the top 50.
g) “Who has the time?”, in the top 50.
etc…
Well, anyone who thought genetics didn’t enter in to it has never seen two women, roughly the same weight, one of whose rears is twice the size of the other! Obviously genetics dictate body shape to a fair extent, just as they dictate height and other characteristics of bone structure.
On the other hand, anyone who blames it entirely on genetics and does not have a very specific medical condition that directly causes obesity is kidding him or herself. Whether the habits were acquired in childhood or adulthood, lifestyle has *far * more to say about how much you weigh than genetics (except for the rare cases in which it’s truly medically dictated).
So genetics for shape, lifestyle for size. Seems to me that both play a part. The big difference is that you can (however difficultly, and believe me, I’ve spent the huge majority of my life considerably overweight) do something about size, and you can’t do much about shape except to make it smaller or larger over all. Spot exercises don’t work as such.
And, while again, I have great sympathy for the obese, being a serious member of that less-than-happy group, I can say with long experience that exercise is not essential to weight loss. It’s both healthier and better (and probably a bit faster) with exercise than without, but a truly severely obese person will probably shed weight fairly quickly if s/he reduces his/her calories significantly - among other things, hauling his/her body around is a fair amount of exercise in and of itself. Inability to exercise is, unfortunately, not a viable excuse for obesity. One can drop enough weight to make exercise feasible and then begin, for example. Or as I have done many times, not exercise at all. I’m not suggesting that this is good - just that the weight will still come off.
Thank you for that…it is encouraging to think that exercise is not mandatory as I feel too heavy right now to do it, and frankly it’s not something I ever feel motivated to do, even when I was lighter. I did lose a great deal of weight in a relatively short time in the past, but my emotional state was a lot different then, and I was basically on a very limited intake that I have to gear up to sustain.
Just remember, calories are your key. Eliminate starch and sugars from your diet, and you’re half-way there already. Unfortunately, this is not easy - it means no potatoes, bread, or pasta - three of the things that make life worth living. Go heavy on the leafy veggies - if you want them, there are many very low cal dressings on the market.
I personally am following Atkins, which means my diet consists mostly of salad and meat. Supposedly keeping your blood sugar very low means that your body burns a fair amount more calories just getting the energy it needs to function than it would normally. And despite the alarmists, when I eat the full portions of veggies recommended, I’m eating on heck of a lot more healthily than I did before I started, and probably more healthily than most Americans. But it’s not for everyone.
Most important to remember, though, is that while low calorie means low fat, low fat does NOT mean low calorie. Starches and sugars are every bit as dangerous because, while ounce for ounce they are lower calorie than fat, you can eat WAY more of them!
gigi, I’ve lost 50+ pounds over the past year, and hope to take off another 40 or so this year. I sincerely wish you the best of good luck!
gigi, if you would find it helpful to have a “diet buddy” (sort of like a sponsor in AA, from what I gather), please feel free to email me. I’d be very happy to help you out if I can. I KNOW how hard it is!