Too many deal breakers are simply unrealistic in dating. I will reiterate this. I also truly believe that most people do not stick to this number of deal breakers when they meet people in real life. The long list goes out the window then. But it’s sure easy to do when you’re computer dating, it just takes a few clicks.
Yes, I have seen these profiles. They are intimidating and off putting. These are women in their 40s, average looking, and what they’re seeking is so ridiculously specific that no one is going to come close to what they say they want.
People have to remember that the dating services cannot create people for you to date. They are only potential conduits to what is out there.
On the other hand, I could have a near perfect match, someone unique to me or so the computer says, and there’s probably an even chance that I never meet the woman, because she flakes at some point. So one particular person means nothing in this process.
So you know what happens with people who have long lists of deal breakers? They get contacted anyway. Speaking from the male perspective, the men who have been through this more than once, or at it a while, they are ignoring the long list. They’ve got a game down, they are contacting other women at the same time, they have been flaked on multiple times in different situations. They are taking a volume approach. Maybe she doesn’t mean the long list and will get lonely, if she does, who cares, I worked on my game, gave it a shot, I’ve got other irons in the fire. So either she won’t stick to the list, or it’s criteria that can’t be met anyway.
So if the women go on dates anyway, then something on the list crops up and they complain about it… the approach going in is unrealistic and they didn’t stick to it anyway.