Another car ad with totally inappropriate music in the background. It was for some high-end SUV (BMW, perhaps), and the song they were playing was the ELP version of “21st Century Schizoid Man”. With lyrics.
Yep, “innocence raped with napalm fire” is just what I want playing through my head as I’m strapping Sublight, Jr. into his car seat.
–sublight.
I can’t think of anything more stupid than a current add for Chevy trucks, where you see this mammoth truck arriving on a construction site. The truck is probably 50 feet high at the cab, and contains a driver and passengers of equally awesome proportions. We hear the "Bwwwwoooaaaaingggg " of the guitar note from “Like a Rock”, which Chevy should probably have dropped ages ago, yadda, yadda, yadda…
In fact, while we’re at it, fuck all commercials with enormous things or people…like the beer commercials
where 2000 foot-high people play basketball amid Rocky peaks that just stand up to their waists.
I’ve only seen this ad in movie theaters.
You don’t find out what it’s for until the last 5 seconds.
It’s shot entirely in a blue-tint monochrome - beautiful photography. I may have the individual shots out of order, but it’s something like:
Narrator: There’s only one past (shot of tribes people dancing around a fire)
Nar: There’s only one future (time-lapse shot of sun rising over lake, clouds streaming)
Me (in my head): I wonder what this is for.
Nar: There’s only one mother (close up of a pregnant woman cradling her belly.)
Nar: There’s only one mother (shot of earth from space (or something))
Me: Ohhh, it must be Earth Day, or some environmetal thing. Cool.
a couple more clips which I forget before the final-
Nar: There’s only one Jeep. (Shot of some behemoth SUV
climbing on rocks.)
Me: :mad: :rolleyes: (seething and foaming at the mouth.)
Why do I object? I don’t want to debate the cost/benefit equations of the SUV. Dead Horse, etc. But c’mon Jeep, admit it. You don’t care about pissing off environmentalists - those hippies can’t afford a Jeep Liberty anyway, so screw 'em.
Have you seen the minivan commercial which features Mom and Pop American and their towhead mini-Americans? Mom is driving. Dad is reading his newspaper. Minis are eating goldfish in peaceful silence. No one is talking to anyone else. Suddenly giggles are heard from the minis in back who are, as it is revealed to us, watching a cartoon. In the van. Mom and Dad smile contentedly.
I think… heaven forbid the family should actually talk to one another on a trip. Dad isn’t even talking to mom about the naughty things they could do after the minis are in bed. Kids have earphones on, their attention focused on the electronic babysitter.
That commercial makes me crazy. I want yelling. I want grape juice spilled on the seat. Reality, man.
**
Depends where you are. I was told in traffic school here in Phoenix that, while it is not the safest thing in the world to do, it is NOT illegal to change lanes in an intersection here. Of course, neither is it illegal to make a U-turn in the middle of the road - something I’d never done in my life before I moved here.
Actually, I believe they’re playing polo. The SUVs are being compared to swift, graceful polo ponies. Which also mess up the landscape to some degree.