I just did a board search for a “commercials I hate” thread and the last generalized one appears to have died in July, so I’m starting a new one.
Specifically to rant about that “iPod Nano Takes Pictures!” commercial, the song in which steals the intro and background rhythm line from “Count Me In” by Gary Lewis & The Playboys, tricking me into expecting THAT song every time it comes on and ending up jarred by the fact that it’s actually an ethereal breathy British-accented woman singing some kind of Feist-like jingle instead. Quit doing that! Write your own damn music! Don’t be a Vanilla Ice! And your dorky-looking dancers aren’t very interesting, either!
There’s a Disney commercial where they play the Small World song, if I can’t get to the mute button quick enough I have to cover my ears and sing “la la la” or the earworm will eat my brains.
I dont know if these are just local but we have these 1-800 Ask Gary commercials that now show people driving while talking to you and most of the time they aren’t looking at the road. I keep expecting to hear squealing tires and crashing metal. I don’t think even Gary could help get them out of the careless driving charges.
The National Humane Society ad. Damn thing runs for-freaking-ever, has this tear jerking music over a montage of maimed or otherwise abused animals. Nobody wants to see that shit, especially not half a dozen times during a ball game, or several times duing a non-football program. It does not make me want to send them money. It makes me change the channel and harbor ill will towards them.
There’s a Smokey the Bear “Only you can prevent wildfires” commercial with a bunch of matches re-arranging themselves into different shapes. It would be an OK commercial, if not for the eardrum-piercing xylophone music in the background. Sounds 10x too loud, makes my tv speakers fuzz out weirdly, and makes the lizard part of my brain want to get away quickly.
I saw one last night that got under my skin more than it should have. It starts in the living room where dad is building a model rocket. His young son walks in on his way to the bathroom (son announces this). Dad asks son “you’re going by yourself?” - “yep, all by myself”. So it’s shaping up to be a commercial for diapers or some potty training seat, OK whatever.
Son closes door, puts towel on floor, sits on towel with his back to the tub, takes out an iPhone and starts watching a sitcom.
Cut to dad outside the door with confused look as he hears son giggling.
Voice over: “AT&T now has streaming video, for when you need a little alone time.”
I’m thinking:
Who is this marketed to? Toddlers who lie to their family so they can escape to catch up on “3 1/2 Men” during their alone time?
How broken is their relationship that the son lies to his father’s face and hides in the bathroom watching sitcoms rather than help him build a working model rocket? Did some ad exec think this would be charming? Creepy is what it is.
Who the hell buys an iPhone for a kid who still craps his pants? Now I’m starting to hate on dad and think maybe he deserves whatever hell junior will put him through in the coming years. Son already thinks 3 1/2 Men is funny, not a good sign.
Watching dad at the door reminded of the scene in Young Frankenstein when Igor shares what his father used to say to him:
“What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don’t you get out of there and give someone else a chance?”
I must reiterate my doumbfounded rage at “Sarna Sensitive”. How does putting a dog neck cone around a person’s neck stop them from scratching themself?
Geicko. I hate you more and more each year. The money that is watching me and the pathetic cavemen. I don’t hate the gecko, but all the others are bad enough I will never use your company.
No doubt I will be back with more as they occur to me.
Those Coors Light (I think it’s Coors Light) commercials where they splice in video footage of NFL coaches and pretend like they’re talking in realtime…so tired.
When I was a kid, an aunt (who lived around the corner) had that damn song. She played it constantly. I quickly came to hate it, with the fury of a thousand suns, with the hate of a billion billion beings. To this day, that song makes me want to kill stuff.