You type that using using advanced technology, traitor to the cause!
Hey traitors to the cause,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day working in an service and information age society at the end of it’s industrial revolution. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making products because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than the industrial revolution.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the a bank, and ceo on my own enron. What products do you play, other than “mass produce naked Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just exchanged capital with me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
That would be the first problem I would solve. Find a nice field of grain. Build some fermentation vessels and a building I’ll call ‘bar’, caveman for beer.
Then I will just wait for others to trade goods for beer. Eventually they will settle down close to my bar and we have ourselves a town. And we are back to civilization.
I was sure that would happen when I’ve killed myself a wooly mammoth, made me a fedora and three-piece outfit from its fur and preserved the lower 5 inches of his feet to attach and add funky-fresh height to my shoes.
After this I’m sure to commandeer all the discerning cave-ladies and, going forward, will offer their feminine wiles to all the lonely, drunk cavemen in exchange for goods.
Therefore, I’m sure a town will grow up around my burgeoning enterprise sooner than yours.
So. I take it you’re in favor of same sex… mmmm, everything?
Certainly no more marriage to worry about. I suppose people could scratch their names little hearts on big rocks. They would then be the marrying rocks.
Oh no, no one gets left out. That’s the point. I want to teach people the true meaning of such a savage Utopia. And what better way to do it than non-consentual anal sex? They could come after me, but if they did it in groups they’d already be well on their way to re-establishing civilization.
You do know your testicles are outside your body, vulnerable to gene pool cleansing crushing grips, right?
It only takes one guy with a firm handshake to end your rein of ass-terror.If that isn’t enough it just takes one guy hunting and gathering a knife to finish the job. You have to sleep sometime!
Okay, then. Women have special mystic rites, which are essential to the survival of the cosmos (and, as a side effect, induce the fermentation of beer). The ritual, never pleasant at best of times, becomes so much harder for us without certain civilized implements. Think of the [del]children[/del] known universe!
Well, I guess that big knife, machete, and blood hook will come in useful now. And to think they laughed at me when I sharpened them and made a custom belt that allows me to carry them around at all times.
