Still no.
Wait, there’s magic involved? That’s gonna change a lot.
How about Cherokee Hair Tampons?
Would go see, but only if Japanese.
Where do you think pornography comes from? 
I was thinking more along the lines of live-action pornography. All you need is some lighting and some music. I was thinking of this at the live nude lesbian show last night (Thursday night) in Sheba’s Bar, where I was sitting about 2 feet in front of five artistically interlinked girls.
Welcome to boot heels of Missouri! Where the Men are men, and the sheep are nervous.
I thought sheep were nervous in australia and/or new zealand?
Oh, and moss is a great idea, iirc it absorbs 20 times its own weight in water. Also, leather, wool, fabrics of any kind are all products of some form of civilization. afaik hunter gatherers were/are naked or wear pelts, which I imagine is warm but not very comfortable.
I don’t know about you guys, but if an assfucker comes after me, my money would be on a fistful of nettles pushed into their genitals. If that doesn’t work, I hit them with a thistle coated in the sap of a hemlock(death in minutes once it gets in a wound or on a mucous membrane, I know there’s better poisons out there but those are plants I actually know how to find).
But seriously, the only way to end civilization is to fire all american nukes at once at places all over the world and stab yourself.
Sheep are nervous everywhere there are Real Men.
And that’s why the Scots wear kilts. It makes it easier to sneak up on sheep, as they’d hear the zippers otherwise.
Chiggers live in moss. I’d be careful with that stuff cowboy 
Forget the nettles, grab, twist and yank em loose. He’ll be down for a long time and when he comes too won’t be able to fuck much of anything.
Problem with that is you need to be stronger/quicker than that the would-be rapist. I’m neither very strong nor quick, but strength and speed don’t help against nettles since they a)extend your range and b) hurt regardless of how hard you hit, as long as there’s contact.
And the Irish wear kilts because the Scottish have even better hearing than the sheep.
May a gentleman politely suggest the humble sea sponge as a possible solution?
those things have octopus eggs in them you know
The Irish don’t wear kilts. 
Sure they do. Or have, anyway. They’re more of an imported-from-Scotland Celtic-solidarity thing. But kilts used to be standard competition and performance wear for male Irish dancers.
They wear bicycle shorts underneath, if anyone was wondering.
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