Just had to say that that was one of the greatest rants of all time. So clear and consise, with a an explanatory introductory paragraph and succinct closing paragraph. If there was such a thing as Rants 101 this would be the one they teach from. Hats off to you! (And that’s a big deal from a wizard!)
No, KGS, it’s not a whoosh. We actually got a call Monday night/Tuesday morning about a wild snail (not even one of those aquarium snails) that had been deshelled by a kid. One of the other techs answered the phone and had to put the lady on hold so she could laugh for a bit. She couldn’t quit snickering, so I took over for her.
We get calls about injured wildlife all the time. We also get calls from people who’ve been bitten by their kid’s hamster and are afraid they’ll get rabies and die. Where they think the hamster would’ve gotten rabies, I have no idea. We get calls from people who are afraid that a rabid animal might have drunk from a water dish in the yard, and now the dog’s drunk from that dish, and it’s gonna be Cujo all over again. Shoot, the other night I took a call from a lady whose dog had been playing in an anthill (just litlle regular black ants, not fire ants or anything) and she wanted to know what she needed to do with him. He’d been bathed and was ant-free, so now what?
Back when the anthrax scare was a big thing, they were getting calls all the time about how this or that animal might have anthrax and now everybody in the house was going to die. Apparently, one guy found a box of kittens and wanted them all euthanized because they might have anthrax. Yes, that’s right, he thought he a box full of anthrax kittens.
Trust me folks, I couldn’t make this shit up.