And I felt worse than I had felt in as long as I can remember. I knew I wasn’t supposed to leave my little sister alone in the house, but I had to take I walk. I left a note that simply read: “I took a walk. –Stephen.” I hoped she would understand. I waited for the two guys to finish smoking the cigarette and pull away. I grabbed my notebook and left the gate.
My mind struggled against the tears that were edging their way to my face. I didn’t feel like I had anything to be ashamed of in letting the tears come out, but I knew I had no reason to be crying. The road pushed me forward. I tried to walk down the center divider, but a speeding car soon pushed me into the left lane. I headed east and began to take a look at my path.
The first thing I noticed was a small brown rabbit occupying an alley on my left. The strange sunset rays made the creature appear white, but I could tell it was brown. I only stopped to look for a second; a car’s headlights were staring me down, and I knew I had to continue on my way.
The sharp contrast of the new, clean houses with the old farmhouses made me remember that my old girlfriend had moved to this street a few years ago. I had been living there for almost four months and I still hadn’t looked for her. I didn’t really want to, though; she wasn’t a very nice person, but I supposed that I had become fairly annoying by the time we parted ways. I wondered whether history was about to repeat itself, and I had a drowning feeling that something was going to happen soon. And if nothing was going to happen soon, I would never shake the feeling and I would be doomed to a life of anticipation.
Soon every new house that I saw became her house, and every car that almost hit me was her joyriding with her friends. I saw happy, functional families watching fully functional family programming and social teenaged-children enjoying the innocence they believed they could do without. And I began to think of the one that had caused me all this pain when I was interrupted by what seemed to be a four-house gathering in a section of road that had no trees. Cars were coming and going and crossing the street. They were all driving, and I was walking. I wasn’t sure how to behave amidst all the fun, so I just did what came naturally; I grasped my notebook close to my side, wore my best non-face, and took short strides until I was rid of the entire scene from my eyes and my ears.
The sun was now set and the sky was a deep navy blue. My right hand began to be chilled, but my left hand was kept warm by the soft edges of my green notebook of Opportunity. I had planned to stop somewhere and do some writing, but I had nowhere to sit. The walk had yielded no solitude or stopping point. I guess warming my hand was the best purpose the notebook had to serve.
I continued strolling for a bit longer when a dog barked immediately to my left. I hardly flinched, and I was surprised at how well I kept my composure. But my stoic posture was broken by an uncharacteristic calmness on my right. I turned and saw another brown rabbit. The severe lack of light caused this one to appear black. It was quite beautiful.
I turned to the road and saw that something had drawn it up a hill into twists and turns of dark trees; all the light left over from the sun was now gone. I turned and headed home. There were more cars on the way back, and I saw that the white rabbit was no longer in the alley. The trip home seemed much faster than the beginning of my journey; I guess I had a lot less to think about. I entered the gate, folded the note I had written, and put it in my pocket. No one had realized that I had left. It wasn’t even time yet for her to make the call.
I’m not sure why, but I liked your post, HoldenCaulfield. Just popped in to tell you that. You’re a writer, I take it?
Thanks, I wish I were a writer. 