I can forgive the “didn’t inhale,” the "what is “is,” the hummer from the intern, Whitewatergate, et al. I’ll even give credit where credit is do, and say the Brother-Billy was quite the statesman, and an effective President. Now that he’s hanging out in harlem, I kinda figured I was safe.
Never really liked him, me being all Conservative Republican and whatnot.
Until now.
Now it’s personal.
I saw on the news that Bill Clinton got a new dog, a nice Chocolate lab.
He named it “Seamus,” pronounced “Shamus.”
Excuse me Mr. ex-President, sir, but my dog, a border collie is named “Shamus!” The name is taken Sir. Thanks a whole lot. Now everybody’s gonna see my dog Shamus and say “Oh, you named him after Bill CLinton’s dog.”
Then I’ll have to scream.
What with all the publicity, the next time I go down to the spring pond with Shamus for a swim, all these spineless Democratic yuppies will have their dogs there, and they’ll all be named Shamus.
Goddamit, it was an original name, and I was happy with it.
Now I guess I’ll have to change his name to “Sarge.”
Goddamn you Bill Clinton, and Democrats everywhere. This is what’s wrong with liberalism!
I think most people admire Scylla for his writing talent and his impressive half-marathon skills, although I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a celebrity.
Now Scylla, don’t forget that Mr. Clinton let you lead the crusade against the Nazi groundhogs when he could easily have used a full-blown military engagement against the varmints to deflect attention away from his looming cloud of problems at the time. I think he’s entitled to a little dog-naming precedent after that…
It’s times like this that deconstructionist theory proves its usefulness, in digging out the hidden, unconcious meanings of symbolic gestures, i.e., naming the dog.
“Shamus” can, of course, refer to private investigators (see Chandler, et. al.) No doubt this relates to Bills deep-seated fear of investigations and investigators.
On a deeper level “sham us” is an admission that he and Hillary are nothing other than a superficial and shallow fraud, a “sham”.
Further, the pronunciation, “shame US” reveals the inherent unpatriotic bias common to liberals, and will permit Bill to cast aspersions on America every time he calls the dog.
“Shah-moose” probably has something to do with the Pahlavi dynasty of Iran, but it is rather obscure. OK, very obscure.
Of course, an Oxford educated scholar can be expected to be familiar with the works of the Gaelic poet Seamus O’Flehgelhorn, who is widely noted for his many odes regarding a dogs happy talent for lying by a fireplace and licking…himself. No doubt, Bill is ruefully regretting that he lacks the same ability, which might have saved him considerable stress.
(O’Fleghelhorn, you will recall, wrote in a Gealic dialect that defies pronunciation. This lead many scholars to declare his verse “unpronounceable” and others, “unspeakable”. But I digress…)