This movie, sucked.

All of a sudden for no apparent reason today, I was reminded of fourth grade, the last day before Christmas break. ( I would say winter, but it was a Catholic school.) In English class, we watched Lord Of The Rings. But not the live- action one, because that didn’t come out until about 2-3 years later. No, it was a crappy cartoon version. All the characters were-get this- gopher-like things.
Conveniently, I had to go home that day sick, and it turned out to be strep. But I did see the whole thing three years later and I felt like I needed to wash my eyeballs to get rid of the filth…
Anyone seen this movie? Or want to talk about other horrible movies?

The animation is kind of murky and horrid on the Bakshi version… but not enough to call them gophers…any chance you are misremembering?

Perhaps…I think I’m confusing the LOTR with another movie we watched that same day, but I’m pretty sure the creatures in the LOTR we watched were some kind of animals…unless I’m REALLY misremembering.

Perhaps you are remembering the Rankin/Bass version of The Return of the King, in which the hobbits had a lumpy, gopher-ish appearance. There are quite a few still shots here.

Precisely! Thank you, that would have bugged me all day.

As much stick as the Bakshi version gets, I think it’s OK in general. Hey, when you wish someone would make a decent LOTR movie, it’s what you’ve got to settle for, right?

But the R/B version? Eek! Cuddly Nazgul? Nope.

But it has orc songs!

(Doesn’t it? Or am I conflating the memory with another abomination? “Where There’s a Whip There’s a Way?”)

That’s the one.

If this was about the live-action version, I’d have to agree.

I like the Rankin/Bass version. I would always rent their version of The Hobbit from the library when I was little.

I think the Bakshi one is a horrible abortion of a movie.

Suddenly I feel old.

Um…Count of Monte Cristo. That version; I haven’t seen the others. An amazing book, the best revenge story ever, and the movie made me want to tear my head off. Or theirs. Or both.

“Count on Revenge…” AAAAAAAARGGGHHH…goes on berserk killing spre

Why would anyone want to suck a movie?

No no no… like in Soviet Union, the movie sucks you!

Animated Hobbit: Thumbs up

Animated RotK: Thumbs down

Oh. Dear. God.

I just checked and Hidalgo came out 2 years later, so I’ll throw caution to the wind and say Cristo was the worst movie I saw that year.

I actually liked parts of Hidalgo, though. Mainly the parts with Viggo!

Stick with Heavy Traffic- it was years ahead of Who Framed Roger Rabbit :slight_smile:

I liked The Count of Monte Cristo. I saw it before reading the book, of course, and I think I can never see it again, but seeing it in ignorance, it was a pretty movie.


Movies shown at Catholic school? How about this one?

King of Kings

This was a silent movie, shown decades later. Why the nuns thought this was relevant is beyond me. It was directed by Cecil B. DeMille, which means that it couldn’t have been all that awful - but it was.

The next movie I remenber was in high school to prepare us for childbirth. I don’t remember if there was a title or if there were any known actors, but the plot was this: '40s wife sitting very upright, wearing a suit and white blouse, is knitting ‘little things.’ He. wearing suit and tie, is smoking a pipe, reading a newspaper in what looks like a Barca-lounger.

She seems to give a little hiccup and very pointedly looks at her watch. They pick up a suitcase, positioned by their front door, readied for the occasion. I think there’s an “I Love Lucy” episode that shows this same attempted scenario.

The next scene is of the woman holding a baby swaddled in what they called a ‘receiving blanket.’ That was it! That summarizes my Catholic school sex education and ‘fine arts’ education.