Goddammit! What is it with all the fucking zombie threads? Isn’t there enough to talk about without dredging up shit form years gone past?
It seems every fucking thread I open is over 3 fucking years old! Isn’t there a way to keep this shit buried, as it should be? Jesus Christ! It died a dignified death the first time around. Shouldn’t we let it stay dead? 
I need a better hobby.
I propose to re-animate this thread every Friday the 13th, next month (March), November, and forever.
Some zombie threads are really interesting though.
Also, the vast majority of discussions don’t actually require the ongoing participation of the OP or other early posters to remain valid or interesting–if they ever were. Closing a zombie and then suggesting the reviver start a new thread on the same subject, as is often done, serves only to insure that points already made are lost or needlessly repeated.
Like this. (sigh)
How long must a thread lie dormant
Before it’s considered a zombie?
The answer, my friend,
Is blowing in the wind
The strange passion that some folks have when it comes to old threads will always baffle me.
Ah well. I hope this thread is repeatedly brought up every six to nine months for the next ten years, driving the OP into madness. That should be entertaining.
Bumping this thread from second on the list to first to reduce the risk of it becoming a zombie.
I have suggested numerous times that a simple script should be run nightly on the server. It would look for threads with a last post date of (let’s say) 6 months ago and set the status to closed. Presto - no more zombies.
Needless to say, we still have zombies…
Seeing how this thread is dated on Valentines Day
I can see the someone has complicated feelings on the issue.
Have you tried binge watching The Walking Dead?
Perhaps you could look at the top left corner of the first post to see it’s start date. Because…if old threads really do cause you such emotional trauma…they’re easy enough to avoid with just one quick glance at the date of the first post.
Or, perhaps, you could just read the start date of the thread and not respond if it causes you grief. There are many times I’ve enjoyed older threads.
I swear, this is the only board I’ve ever seen where people get this hysterical over old threads.
There are a lot of suggestions for “improvements” to SDMB function. Most are for the convenience or annoyance-reduction of a single user or small group. Some are just to make forum format like all the other squee social media formats. Some are objections to how posts are categorized.
But I think a board that never prunes or archives its content and is coming up on its 20th year of operation really, really, really needs a zombie thread marker system - something that warns the first poster the thread is old, something that alerts new posters to the revived status for a few hours or even the first 24 hours, and a special flag (like “New Posts” or “Closed”) that makes the thread stand out as a zombie.
It would deter search-spammers, or at least help compartment their trolling. It would keep users new and old from making stupid posts when they don’t realize the question is ten years old. It would keep mods from having to run around putting out little fires because of all the pointless friction. And - not least - it would alert long-time users that an old and possibly useful or interesting thread has been extended.
It can’t be that hard, or cost that much even if turned over to a pro coder. I can’t help but think that some plugin, extension or hack already exists for this venerable boardware.
Please. And thank you. And see you every Feb. 14 to roam these halls moaning about it.
When you look at a forum or click “new posts” they could include the date of the first post, along with the title and thread creator.
We have zombies because more of the TM complained that we were closing and locking them than were asking that they be closed and locked.
You do not need a script to banish old threads; you need a method to persuade more posters to your position and away from the majority who express a current desire to permit old threads to be revived.
This. The SDMB is the only forum I’ve seen that doesn’t display the start date of threads before they’re clicked on.
If the start date could be displayed on the forum pages themselves, that would improve things immeasurably. You could see at a glance, without even opening the thread, whether it’s a zombie or not.
I’m no javascript expert, but i’ll bet you could also then add a few lines to the SDMB Greasemonkey script (for those who have it) that would mark the threads with a start date older than X months, maybe by a different color, or by some sort of icon.
There are many reasons not to lock or delete old threads, and the day the SDMB does any such thing will be the day its value as one of the last sites for sustained, serious, intelligent discussions over time plummets.
But c’mon… just flag the suckers? Please?
I don’t understand the vitriol over zombie threads. Who cares if it’s 10 years old if it’s interesting. Maybe I missed it the first time around. Maybe there’s new info I’d like to contribute because I’ve learned a few things since 10 years ago. Maybe I enjoy reading the posts of some of my favorite old-timers. Serious question…why do you even care?
You know who else came back from the dead?
[spoiler]
